They always say, “don’t judge a book by its cover”. If the expression was “don’t judge a person by their name”, I’d be in trouble. I just don’t trust people who fall under the following name-categories:The girl who goes by her middle-name instead of her first-name
Why do you have to lie like that? When I ask you your name, I’m expecting an honest answer. I’ve been under the impression that the name of the girl I’ve been making out with all night is Ashley. Now you tell me that your first-name is actually Gertrude? This changes everything. You’ve misled me with your false identity. What else are you hiding? Oh, I get it! Only your parents call you Gertrude…and everyone else calls you Ashley! The same way only I think you’re 21…and everyone else knows that you are 16.
The guy that refuses to go by the more common, shorter version of his name
Yeah I’m talking to you, Christopher. Don’t want to be considered as “just another Chris”? That’s fine if you also don’t want to be considered popular and cool. Why the extra syllables, Christopher? That’s just rude to everyone else. We are busy people –we don’t need to be wasting our time sounding out your entire name to the bitter end. The only person who shouldn’t shorten his name by a syllable is Harrison Johnson. You, on the other hand, have no excuse. Have fun hanging out with Matthew, Jonathan, Michael, and Gertrude.
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