Brendan's Articles

1 total in April 2008

  • The Die Hard Friendship Scale

    When John McTiernan and Bruce Willis got together and made Die Hard, they didn't just create an action movie by which all overs would be judged, they unknowingly created a perfect system by which I can gauge all of my friendships. Clearly, in this friendship scale, I am everyman-turned-Superman John McClane. You can take this scale and apply it to your friends and acquaintances and see how they measure up.

    Level 1: Holly McClane-Gennaro - My closest, most battle-tested friend. I would walk over broken glass for you- and not in the gay Annie Lennox way, I mean it literally. Fact of the matter is, at the end of the day, I can count on you to punch a douchebag reporter in the teeth when I'm just too exhausted to do it myself.

    Level 2: Sgt. Al Powell - When the shit hits the fan, you'll have my back. You're the type of person who is so loyal you'd be able to overcome your fear of using a firearm to save me from a gargantuan German whom I thought I had strangled with a steel chain. There is also the slight chance you've shot a kid.

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    • Brendan Marymount

    About Me

    My mind is like a steel trap. The trap closed and rusted shut years ago, but still. Check out my blog at brendanbell.tumblr.com

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