Brendan's Articles

1 total in April 2008
  • When John McTiernan and Bruce Willis got together and made Die Hard, they didn't just create an action movie by which all overs would be judged, they unknowingly created a perfect system by which I can gauge all of my friendships. Clearly, in this friendship scale, I am everyman-turned-Superman John McClane. You can take this scale and apply it to your friends and acquaintances and see how they measure up.

    Level 1: Holly McClane-Gennaro - My closest, most battle-tested friend. I would walk over broken glass for you- and not in the gay Annie Lennox way, I mean it literally. Fact of the matter is, at the end of the day, I can count on you to punch a douchebag reporter in the teeth when I'm just too exhausted to do it myself.

    Level 2: Sgt. Al Powell - When the shit hits the fan, you'll have my back. You're the type of person who is so loyal you'd be able to overcome your fear of using a firearm to save me from a gargantuan German whom I thought I had strangled with a steel chain. There is also the slight chance you've shot a kid.



Brendan Marymount

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My mind is like a steel trap. The trap closed and rusted shut years...

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