Contributions

• Wrote an article on Thursday, Sep 20

  Who Said It: God (According To Christian Fundamentalists) Or A Twelve Year Old Boy?

  - "No, you can't ascend into my Super Awesome Treehouse Club. I mean, sure, you've led a life of pure good, but you're a fucking Jew." - "I just got my first boner!" - "I got the First Boner."

  1 like | 0 Comments

• Wrote an article on Thursday, Sep 13

  Variations On The Adage 'Dance Like Nobody's Watching'

  -Pee like you won't get a little drop on your khakis and have to wipe your hands off on your pants after washing them to cover it up -Wear a shirt that says "Can you BEER me now?" like you're fourteen and drinking still makes you different and...

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• Wrote an article on Friday, Jul 13

  There Is No Escaping Us!

  Robert is sitting alone in an empty attic playing with an ancient Chinese puzzlebox. As soon as he solves it, the wall opens up to reveal a hole leading to another dimension. Robert is overwhelmed by the sounds of sharpening razors, bloodcurdling...

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• National article on Monday, Apr 9

  Friedrich Engels Tries To Get Laid

  Hey, what’s up? My name’s Freddy. Care if I sit down here for a second? Alright, cool. Oh man, it’s so nice to be able to go out and relax. I’ve just been so busy recently, you know, writing the Communist Manif…...

  19 likes | 39 Comments

• National article on Thursday, Feb 15

  A Sex Advice Column For Middle Schoolers

  By Danny Bowler, 7th GradeSo, I know what you're thinking. You'll be in high school in a few years, and you want to be sexually experienced enough to impress those slammin' senior babes. Well, I hate to break it to you, but all those games of &...

  42 likes | 63 Comments

Activity

• Commented on a article on Tuesday, Oct 23

  Cyanide and Happiness

  I heard Henry Rollins is a machine
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• Liked a video on Tuesday, Oct 23

  Brohemian Rhapsody

  CollegeHumor's epic frat party music video.

  
  6694 likes | 639 Comments

• Commented on a article on Thursday, Sep 27

  The Weekly WYR: Dolphin Edition

  Dolphin: "How did you find this place?" Me: "Yahoo. Wait, how did you learn to fuck?" Dolphin: "Yahoo."
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• Commented on a video on Tuesday, Sep 18

  UF Student Tasered

  
  If you just listen to the audio, it sounds like this is happening to Dane Cook.
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• Commented on a video on Friday, Sep 7

  Elmo De Niro

  
  Him saying "I could play a taxi driver, an out of shape boxer, or a cabbage", and then choosing the cabbage, pretty much sums up his career for the past decade.
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