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  • Tuesday, Dec 16 2008

  • CollegeHumor Movie Review

    The Day the Earth Stood Still

    by Scott Bennett December 16, 2008


    I'm pretty sure it's safe to say at this point that Hollywood is just running out of ideas.  I'm not completely opposed to the concept of remaking old movies simply because "we can make them look better now", but shouldn't that concept only apply to movies that sucked the first time around?  Why would you attempt to remake what many Sci-Fi movie buffs consider to be an all time classic of the genre?  Sure there's a chance of making something good just a little bit better but is it really worth the risk?  That's like if a huge group of Middle School nerds spent their entire summer constructing a gigantic diorama of the human body made out of toothpicks for a science fair project, then a father of one of the kids who is good with tools decides he wants to improve it and shatters the entire display.  The risk to make something better was admirable but now you have an entire room filled with angry prepubescent nerds to deal with.  On an unrelated note, I'll never forgive you Dad *sniff*

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  • Tuesday, Nov 18 2008

  • CollegeHumor Movie Review

    Quantum of Solace

    by Scott Bennett November 18, 2008


    What'd you say about my watch?
    Well, it's the 22nd time James Bond has made it to the big screen and things sure have changed. Some of those changes are a breath of fresh air, but a lot of them are just the opposite.  Let's go ahead and use an altered version of the Stewie Griffin "compliment sandwich" method to start off this review, where I'll begin with something good, mention where things need improvement, and then end with something good.  Ooook let's see something good...for anyone who complained that Casino Royale was too long of a movie, you'll be happy to know that Quantum is nowhere near as lengthy.  Where this movie needs improvement...

    - It's way too fast paced
    - The villain is the least intimidating individual ever
    - Half the action sequences are sliced together so hardcore you can't even see the action
    - It doesn't feel like a James Bond movie

    ...aaaand something good, something good...M is cheeky and reminds me of my Grandma. 

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  • Friday, Nov 14 2008

  • CollegeHumor Classic

    These 10 Games Should Be Called

    by Jason Michaels November 14, 2008




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  • Tuesday, Nov 11 2008

  • CollegeHumor Movie Review

    Role Models

    by Scott Bennett November 11, 2008


    Fact: wearing a suit while peeing in public makes it classy.
    Lots of comedies these days are trying to bank off a classic formula; the "comedy duo".  We all know the comedy duo " 2 friends (or sometimes enemies) on the screen together bouncing off one another in that perfect rhythm.  Naturally a lot of times this has the tendency to fail miserably *cough*What Happens in Vegas, but the good news is when it works? It pays off in spades and creates some really memorable stories " Rush Hour, Pineapple Express, Lethal Weapon, Harold & Kumar, Cheech and Chong, etc.  Hell, even the Mac & PC guys make for halfway decent commercials at the very least.  In this respect I have to say, Seann William Scott and Paul Rudd make a really unexpectedly great team, so much to the point that it makes me think, "Why the hell wasn't this done earlier?"

    Even though the premise of the movie isn't new at all, the performances of Scott and Rudd are seriously good enough to make this movie really damn funny in the long run.  The actors themselves have different styles to their humor, but it blends together insanely well.  Scott's crude and raunchy performance is the perfect balance to Rudd's dry wit.  It's kind of like Gin and Juice...and...the black kid is indo? Their life is the street?  Eh f*ck it. 

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  • Friday, Nov 7 2008

  • 5 Students, If College Had A Character Creation System

    by Jason Michaels November 07, 2008




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  • Tuesday, Nov 4 2008

  • CollegeHumor Movie Review

    Zack and Miri Make a Porno

    by Scott Bennett November 04, 2008


    Stick figure porn: always funny
    For those of you who are out of the loop, Zack and Miri Make a Porno is a ?View Askew' movie by Kevin Smith " the man behind Clerks, Mallrats, Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back, Dogma, and Clerks 2 to name a few.  Anyway, it seems that our boy Kevin has recently been inspired by some of Judd Apatow's work because Zack and Miri Make a Porno feels like it has ?Apatow' written all over it.

    Seth Rogen (Zack) and Elizabeth Banks (Miri) are roommates who have known each other since the first grade.  Zack works behind the counter at a local coffee shop, while Miri has a dead end job at the mall.  Since their jobs suck so hard and Zack likes to spend his money on things like fleshlights they eventually are unable to pay rent and get their heat/electricity/water shut off.  They need some quick money, and the light at the end of the tunnel emerges; why not make a porno? 

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  • Friday, Oct 31 2008

  • CollegeHumor Classic

    The First Try Of An Undercover Officer From "To Catch A Predator"

    by Andrew B. October 31, 2008


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  • Friday, Oct 24 2008

  • Earth's Newsfeed

    by CH Staff October 24, 2008
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  • Tuesday, Oct 14 2008

  • CollegeHumor Movie Review

    Quarantine

    by Scott Bennett October 14, 2008


    Home Movies: Extreme Edition
    If you thought I'd let October slip by without reviewing a zombie movie, then you've got some nerve, pal.  Quarantine is a remake of a Spanish horror flick called REC. Apparently it's gotten to the point in Hollywood where movies that were released in 2007 are already being re-made, but hey this is America and we like things fresh dammit so why the hell not.

    The concept is pretty cool; a zombie movie shot in the same shaky handheld camera style as Cloverfield.  All you diehard zombie buffs out there probably know this idea was tried already in George A. Romero's, Diary of the Dead, but since that movie wasn't too widely accepted this is Quarantine's time to shine. 

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  • Monday, Oct 6 2008

  • CollegeHumor Movie Review

    Blindness

    by Scott Bennett October 06, 2008


    "The feel-good movie of 2008!" Just kidding.
    Out in theaters this week is Blindness, a movie directed by Fernando Meirelles who has a thing for putting together weird, artsy pieces like The Constant Gardener and City of God.  The film itself is an adaptation of the 1995 novel Blindness, and originally premiered at the Cannes Film Festival back in May.  

    The concept of this movie is pretty cool on paper.  An epidemic of blindness randomly breaks out in the middle of an un-named city.  The "disease" itself is never explained, but seems to spread incredibly quickly and is based on human contact.  Starting with just a handful of people, soon the entire city becomes infected, and people are shipped off in quarantine by the truckload.  

    Something that bugs me right off the bat is that this movie feels too artsy.  I don't have a problem with artsy, film festival type movies, but it just feels a little out of place.  End of society/disaster movies should play on their strengths (action due to the unfolding circumstances) and not be riddled with metaphors and long, drawn out sequences...but maybe that's just me.  Just to prove to you that I'm not totally blowing smoke out my ass, here's 2 really artsy things the movie does that probably seemed cool in the planning stage but turn out to be annoying

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  • Wednesday, Oct 1 2008

  • How My New Label Maker Got Me Fired From Yankee Candle

    by Scott Bennett October 01, 2008

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  • Saturday, Sep 13 2008

  • CollegeHumor Movie Review

    Righteous Kill

    by Scott Bennett September 13, 2008


    De Niro wears intimidating shirts because that's how he rolls
    Welcome! I hope everyone's enjoying being back on campus where they truly are at home.

    Alright 'nuff small talk.  

    Robert De Niro and Al Pacino are 65 and 68 years of age.  I would like a brief pause in reading so that information can let that information settle in.  Done? OK.  This weekend our favorite pair of hard-asses are in theaters with the new flick Righteous Kill.  Now, I mentioned their ages not because I'm trying to be a smartass " plenty of actors do awesome jobs way into their later years, Leslie Nielsen is 82 for Christ's sake and the man is still as hilarious as ever...but comedy movies are a different breed.  Am I saying it's impossible for 60-year-old actors to look tough and intimidating on screen?  Not at all, but it does start to come into question a little more when it starts clashing with the story. 

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  • Sunday, Aug 31 2008

  • CollegeHumor Movie Review

    College

    by Scott Bennett August 31, 2008


    Don't laugh, this was the original poster for Saw V
    Ahhh, Can you smell that in the air? Plastic cups and ping-pong balls fresh out of the packaging and the clean lemony-piney aroma of a brand new (cleaned heavily to hide various human fluids to appear new) dorm room just waiting to be broken in with another full year of good old fashioned debauchery. Its Orientation Week '08, and that means this week we're taking a look at the new movie in theatres this week, College.

    As you may have seen from the previews, College follows three High School seniors who go on a road trip to spend orientation week at Fieldmont University, where hilarity ensues.

    First of all, something about this movie that dawned on me almost instantly in the theater is that it's been done before. Now, now, don't jump to conclusions and get me wrong; I'm not some kind of brainless idiot here to complain about another college genre movie. Every kind of movie has been done before about a million times, and when they're done right they're hilarious. That's not what I'm talking about. Animal House, Old School, American Pie and Road Trip are all college genre movies but all stand out for different reasons.

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  • Thursday, Aug 21 2008

  • CollegeHumor Movie Review

    The Rocker

    by Scott Bennett August 21, 2008


    If you stare at his crotch for 30 seconds with unblinking eyes, the hidden unicorn image appears
    Out in theaters this week is the new comedy starring Rainn Wilson, The Rocker. Anyone who is a fan of The Office (myself included) will recognize Wilson as the hilariously weird Dwight Schrute. Aside from The Office, I haven't seen Wilson in too much else, so I can at least say it was a nice change of pace to see him in a role where he isn't constantly creeping me out.

    ...But enough sunshine and lollipops, let's cut to the chase: this movie heaves. OK, maybe that's a little too strong of a statement, but when I go to see a comedy, is it too much to ask that I laugh every now and then? It's a cutesy story with a really happy ending, but I just didn't laugh when I know that it wanted me to.

    The premise itself isn't bad; let me lay it on you.

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  • Wednesday, Aug 20 2008

  • Vampire Roommate

    by Chase Mitchell August 20, 2008

    "I would prefer if you took down the Sarah Michelle Gellar poster."
    Miles: Hey, Vlad?

    Vlad: Yeah.

    Miles: We need to talk.

    Vlad: Ugh... what.

    Miles: Look at what I'm holding. What does this look like to you?

    Vlad: A pack of Gushers.

    Miles: It was. (Squeezes one.) Now they're not gushing anything.

    Vlad: That's weird.

    Miles: Yeah. Did you suck the juice out of these?

    Vlad: Absolutely not.

    Miles: You sure? What's that stuff on your teeth, then?

    Vlad: Blood, obviously.

    Miles: Blood.

    Vlad: Yup. Bit a kid earlier.

    Miles: It's purple.

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  • Tuesday, Aug 19 2008

  • Top 10 Songs I Can Never Listen To The Same Way Again

    by Scott Bennett August 19, 2008
    #10
    Song: "Trust", by Prince
    Reason: Parade float scene, Batman (1989)
    Not that I listened to this song all that much to begin with, but it still applies to the list. Tim Burton's Batman is a classic, but watching it after the recent wave of new age superhero movies makes you realize how completely ridiculous some of its scenes truly were. Heath may be always remembered as the creepiest Joker, but Jack is no doubt the silliest. The parade scene is by far the funniest part of the movie, and after seeing it a million times it's gotten to the point where if I even hear the interlude to Prince's "Trust" I'll picture that ridiculous clown balloon peeking around the street corner and immediately burst out laughing.

    #9
    Song: "Bad Day", by Daniel Powter
    Reason: RIP Keith Ledger Youtube Video
    I still don't know the source of this internet-wide joke, but purposefully calling Heath Ledger "Keith Ledger" for the purpose of sending die hard fans into an anger frenzy doesn't seem like it will ever not be funny. Reading the mile-long list of angry Youtube comments over this video is even funnier with the 'sincere' background music playing, and now the piano interlude alone is enough to send me into a laughing fit.

    #8
    Song: "O, Fortuna", by Carl Orff
    Reason: Jackass: The Movie (2002)
    I'm sure that if German composer Carl Orff knew his orchestral masterpiece (which was inspired by the deep, moving poetry of the 13th century) made people not think of the struggle of mankind, but rather Chris Pontius in a banana hammock, he could've died a happier man. The worst part is that this song and the opening/closing sequence match up so perfectly its almost like they were meant for each other. Someone needs to give that editor a medal.
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  • Thursday, Aug 14 2008

  • CollegeHumor Movie Review

    Tropic Thunder

    by Scott Bennett August 14, 2008


    This pic makes Smokey the Bear cry inside
    Welcome back! This week we're taking a look at the suddenly controversial Tropic Thunder (which is totally my new name if I ever decide to become a Mexican league wrestler). As many of you already know, the film stars Ben Stiller, Jack Black, and Robert Downey Jr. as a group of variously 'talented' actors attempting to make the greatest Vietnam-era war movie of all time. That's the short version. Now here's all the nitty-gritty stuff that you all seem to like so much.

    Tropic Thunder isn't a random 'here have some puns' comedy. Sure it has its fair share, but it's more than just that. The entire movie is a gigantic joke playing on the many reasons why Hollywood sucks  Dumb, over the top, whiny actors with super inflated ego's, richer than God producers who don't care about anything other than the profit margin of their films, and the insanity of how it all comes together at the worst possible times on a Hollywood set. Also, explosions.

    Here's how they play it out.

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  • Wednesday, Aug 13 2008

  • Athlete Matchups

    by Scott Bennett August 13, 2008

    Now that Michael Phelps is an Olympian athlete of unheard proportions, let's take a close look at the efforts behind the man and how his daily training compares with the routines and actions of all our other favorite present-day sports stars.


    Breakfast

    Michael Phelps:    (in correlation with 8,000-10,000 calorie per day diet) 3 sandwiches of fried eggs, cheese, lettuce, tomato, fried onions and mayo, 1 omelet, abowl of grits, 3 slices of french toast, and some chocolate chip pancakes.

    Mike Tyson: Smoked sausage, cooked ham, protein shake, dreams of others, small children

    Michael Vick: Bread, water, a freshly tossed salad

    Takeru Kobayashi: An entire Denny's


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  • Thursday, Aug 7 2008

  • CollegeHumor Movie Review

    Pineapple Express

    by Scott Bennett August 07, 2008


    Guys look, we found a fog machine!
    Let me say right now, this movie is up against some steep competition. First of all, with The Dark Knight still in theaters and becoming more valuable by the day than many small, island countries, it's hard to consider going to see anything else. Secondly, this movie has some big shoes to fill in the 'weed comedy' department. Cheech and Chong's Up in Smoke, Half Baked, Dazed and Confused, Harold & Kumar go to White Castle, and even Super Troopers (which is more of a cop humor movie, but still plays the weed element excellently) have all made lasting impressions on the big screen, and rank up pretty well on my personal list of favorite movies. Does Pineapple Express have what it takes to stand out as a solid weed movie?

    You better believe it.

    Now, I don't want you to confuse me with someone who tosses out good compliments at a movie just because it's "expected to be good". Aside from the majority of compliments received, I did receive a few death threats regarding my review for the much anticipated Hancock. So when a movie comes out starring and written by the funny Seth Rogen, produced and partially written by Judd Apatow as well as Evan Goldberg from Knocked Up and Superbad fame, is it expected to be good? Naturally, but as any 2007 Patriots fan can tell you, always remember that success is never automatically guaranteed by what you have on paper.

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  • Chad Pennington Updates his Facebook Status

    by Scott Bennett August 07, 2008


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