CollegeHumor: User 412068's Articles

CollegeHumor: User 412068's Articles http://www.collegehumor.com http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1767516 CollegeHumor Movie Review: The Day the Earth Stood Still Tue, 16 Dec 2008 16:00:00 -0500 http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1767516 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2>

I'm pretty sure it's safe to say at this point that Hollywood is just running out of ideas. I'm not completely opposed to the concept of remaking old movies simply because "we can make them look better now", but shouldn't that concept only apply to movies that sucked the first time around? Why would you attempt to remake what many Sci-Fi movie buffs consider to be an all time classic of the genre? Sure there's a chance of making something good just a little bit better but is it really worth the risk? That's like if a huge group of Middle School nerds spent their entire summer constructing a gigantic diorama of the human body made out of toothpicks for a science fair project, then a father of one of the kids who is good with tools decides he wants to improve it and shatters the entire display. The risk to make something better was admirable but now you have an entire room filled with angry prepubescent nerds to deal with. On an unrelated note, I'll never forgive you Dad *sniff*

]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:412068"><img src="http://9.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/d/3/collegehumor.5265cbed7be39708f3297ab377c1806a.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written 2008-12-16 16:00:00 by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:412068">Scott Bennett</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:445"></a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 13 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1765003 CollegeHumor Movie Review: Quantum of Solace Tue, 18 Nov 2008 17:00:00 -0500 http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1765003 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2>

What'd you say about my watch?

Well, it's the 22nd time James Bond has made it to the big screen and things sure have changed. Some of those changes are a breath of fresh air, but a lot of them are just the opposite. Let's go ahead and use an altered version of the Stewie Griffin "compliment sandwich" method to start off this review, where I'll begin with something good, mention where things need improvement, and then end with something good. Ooook let's see something good...for anyone who complained that Casino Royale was too long of a movie, you'll be happy to know that Quantum is nowhere near as lengthy. Where this movie needs improvement...

- It's way too fast paced
- The villain is the least intimidating individual ever
- Half the action sequences are sliced together so hardcore you can't even see the action
- It doesn't feel like a James Bond movie

...aaaand something good, something good...M is cheeky and reminds me of my Grandma.

]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:412068"><img src="http://9.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/d/3/collegehumor.5265cbed7be39708f3297ab377c1806a.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written 2008-11-18 17:00:00 by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:412068">Scott Bennett</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:445"></a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 7 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1764723 CollegeHumor Movie Review: Role Models Tue, 11 Nov 2008 16:00:00 -0500 http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1764723 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2>

Fact: wearing a suit while peeing in public makes it classy.

Lots of comedies these days are trying to bank off a classic formula; the "comedy duo". We all know the comedy duo " 2 friends (or sometimes enemies) on the screen together bouncing off one another in that perfect rhythm. Naturally a lot of times this has the tendency to fail miserably *cough*What Happens in Vegas, but the good news is when it works? It pays off in spades and creates some really memorable stories " Rush Hour, Pineapple Express, Lethal Weapon, Harold & Kumar, Cheech and Chong, etc. Hell, even the Mac & PC guys make for halfway decent commercials at the very least. In this respect I have to say, Seann William Scott and Paul Rudd make a really unexpectedly great team, so much to the point that it makes me think, "Why the hell wasn't this done earlier?"

Even though the premise of the movie isn't new at all, the performances of Scott and Rudd are seriously good enough to make this movie really damn funny in the long run. The actors themselves have different styles to their humor, but it blends together insanely well. Scott's crude and raunchy performance is the perfect balance to Rudd's dry wit. It's kind of like Gin and Juice...and...the black kid is indo? Their life is the street? Eh f*ck it.

]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:412068"><img src="http://9.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/d/3/collegehumor.5265cbed7be39708f3297ab377c1806a.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written 2008-11-11 16:00:00 by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:412068">Scott Bennett</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:445"></a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 8 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1764445 CollegeHumor Movie Review: Zack and Miri Make a Porno Tue, 04 Nov 2008 17:00:00 -0500 http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1764445 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2>

Stick figure porn: always funny

For those of you who are out of the loop, Zack and Miri Make a Porno is a ?View Askew' movie by Kevin Smith " the man behind Clerks, Mallrats, Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back, Dogma, and Clerks 2 to name a few. Anyway, it seems that our boy Kevin has recently been inspired by some of Judd Apatow's work because Zack and Miri Make a Porno feels like it has ?Apatow' written all over it.

Seth Rogen (Zack) and Elizabeth Banks (Miri) are roommates who have known each other since the first grade. Zack works behind the counter at a local coffee shop, while Miri has a dead end job at the mall. Since their jobs suck so hard and Zack likes to spend his money on things like fleshlights they eventually are unable to pay rent and get their heat/electricity/water shut off. They need some quick money, and the light at the end of the tunnel emerges; why not make a porno?

]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:412068"><img src="http://9.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/d/3/collegehumor.5265cbed7be39708f3297ab377c1806a.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written 2008-11-04 17:00:00 by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:412068">Scott Bennett</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:445"></a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 8 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1763858 CollegeHumor Movie Review: Nick & Norah's Infinite Playlist Thu, 23 Oct 2008 14:49:53 -0400 http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1763858 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2>

Telephone is much harder to play at crowded bars

Haven't seen an especially good rom-com in a while, so this week we're taking a look at Nick & Norah's Infinite Playlist, which is now in theaters everywhere.

Starring everyone's favorite timidly funny nerd Michael Cera (Arrested Development, Juno, Superbad) and the unconventionally attractive Kat Dennings (The 40 Year Old Virgin), Nick & Norah is another movie trying to follow the success of the overly hip comedy Juno, and is pulling out all stops; hip characters, a cute love interest story, and hey, why not, lots of indie music.

Nick (Michael Cera) is a quiet high school nerd who plays in a band ˜The Jerk Offs' with his friends who all happen to be gay. Also, he has a sweet ride " a tiny orange Yugo that barely has the ability to start, let alone take him where he needs to go. With all this going on, you think the guy would be on cloud 9, right? Not so, because we find out that Nick has been recently dumped by his ridiculously hot, slutty, how-the-f**k-did-they-ever-end-up-together-at-all, man eating girlfriend ˜Tris' (Alexis Dziena). Naturally, Nick is taking the break up like a man and deals with it by sending her sad voicemails, along with making overly hand-decorated mix CD's that he leaves at her front door.

You know he so wants to look

How's Tris handling the breakup? She laughs it off, and tosses every mix CD Nick has left her directly into the trash...where Norah picks them up. Norah (Kat Dennings) is a sassy high school girl who hates Tris and develops a musical crush on whoever's been making these really sweet CD's.

Nick's band of queens manage to pull him out of depression long enough to drag him out into the city for their bands first gig at a bar, while Norah and her bff Caroline decide to hit NYC while on a quest to find clues leading to a "secret show" being played by the best band ever, ˜Where's Fluffy', that everyone who is cool (apparently) are all raving about finding.

At this point, I'm pretty sure you've already guessed how the movie ends. No? Alright, let's recap. So far we have the following: a cute nice guy in a band with a broken heart, an indie girl with a passion for music and a crush on whoever has been making Mix CD's, them both meeting each other unexpectedly at a bar at NYC during a music show, teens scrambling around all night until 4am based on random DJ/bar clues to find a guerrilla show being played by a band which coincidentally happens to be the favorite of both Nick and Norah.

Aaaaand go! No cheating now, eyes on your own papers. Ready? Time's up! Let's see now, you had "They all get naked and play shuffleboard while listening to the white album"? I'll give you some points for creativity...but no, the correct answer is "They meet up and go on a crazy adventure through NYC where they fall in love and both end up finding themselves at the surprise ˜Where's Fluffy' show!!"

OK now that I've turned down the Ass-O-Meter, what I meant to say is that this film's biggest problem is the screenplay, written by Diablo Cody's (Juno) main squeeze Lorene Scafaria. You can tell while watching the movie that it was meant to be a ˜from dusk till dawn' (party-wise...not vampire wise) between Michael Cera and Kat Dennings, but the dialogue just isn't good as it should be, and what's worse, the pace is just horribly slow. Nick & Norah would've done much better (INFINITELY better, one might say? .....I'll show myself out) if the pace was picked up and wasn't so slow it was boring me in my seat. Also, it's a little hard to swallow the story telling me Nick fell in love with this girl he just met. At least Norah's excuse is that she's been listening to his romantic Mix's for the last month.

Dirtiest part about this car? The NJ license plate. I keed, I keed.

I think part of the problem may be Michael Cera himself. As far as the acting in this movie goes, Cera is everything you'd expect; he could do the role of the timid nerdy guy with both hands tied behind his back. The only issue is that the delivery of the dialogue and the pace of the movie is so slow, it makes you wonder if maybe they should've cast somebody else for this role? Aside from Cera, Ari Graynor plays a pretty good drunken mess as Norah's bff Caroline, Alexis Dziena is a convincing weird bitch as Nick's ex Tris, but the real star of the movie is Kat Dennings as Norah. Almost all of her lines are delivered well and she has a confident mood that really fits her character on the screen. I was a little surprised at first, thinking maybe she wasn't attractive enough to be the love interest in this movie, but at the end, I have to admit the way she presented herself as Norah was pretty damn attractive.

Grade: This is pretty much your typical rom com formula, that tries a little too hard to be as successful as Juno. Even the most stoic person would admit the ending is ˜cute' *best possible Mr. Burns voice* "Smithers, wipe a tear from my eye", but at the end of the day, that's all it really has going. An average, way too slow paced movie with a screenplay that could've been way stronger. Kat Dennings performance (and the rest of the gay band) bring this to a little above average. C Plus

The Bottom Line: If you're looking for a dorky-guy-gets-hot-girl movie that will make you laugh more, I might direct your attention to Sex Drive. If you like the cutesy stuff over the funny stuff, then stick with this movie if you must. Hey, look on the bright side: Do you have a girlfriend who really liked Juno? Go take her to see this, she'll love it and will thank you in her own ˜special way' later. I know, I'm good, you don't have to thank me.

Things have been a tad slow at the box office lately (Read: Beverly Hills Chihuahua is still playing) but we've got a solid line up coming:
Zack & Miri Make a Porno, Role Models, Fanboys, and Quantum of Solace? It's like Christmas is coming early.

CHMovieReview@gmail.com

]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:412068"><img src="http://9.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/d/3/collegehumor.5265cbed7be39708f3297ab377c1806a.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:412068">Scott Bennett</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:445"></a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 2 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1763389 CollegeHumor Movie Review: Quarantine Tue, 14 Oct 2008 12:52:48 -0400 http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1763389 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2>

Home Movies: Extreme Edition

If you thought I'd let October slip by without reviewing a zombie movie, then you've got some nerve, pal. Quarantine is a remake of a Spanish horror flick called REC. Apparently it's gotten to the point in Hollywood where movies that were released in 2007 are already being re-made, but hey this is America and we like things fresh dammit so why the hell not.

The concept is pretty cool; a zombie movie shot in the same shaky handheld camera style as Cloverfield. All you diehard zombie buffs out there probably know this idea was tried already in George A. Romero's, Diary of the Dead, but since that movie wasn't too widely accepted this is Quarantine's time to shine.

]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:412068"><img src="http://9.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/d/3/collegehumor.5265cbed7be39708f3297ab377c1806a.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written 2008-10-14 12:52:48 by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:412068">Scott Bennett</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:445"></a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 7 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1763067 CollegeHumor Movie Review: Blindness Mon, 06 Oct 2008 18:51:48 -0400 http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1763067 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2>

"The feel-good movie of 2008!" Just kidding.

Out in theaters this week is Blindness, a movie directed by Fernando Meirelles who has a thing for putting together weird, artsy pieces like The Constant Gardener and City of God. The film itself is an adaptation of the 1995 novel Blindness, and originally premiered at the Cannes Film Festival back in May.

The concept of this movie is pretty cool on paper. An epidemic of blindness randomly breaks out in the middle of an un-named city. The "disease" itself is never explained, but seems to spread incredibly quickly and is based on human contact. Starting with just a handful of people, soon the entire city becomes infected, and people are shipped off in quarantine by the truckload.

Something that bugs me right off the bat is that this movie feels too artsy. I don't have a problem with artsy, film festival type movies, but it just feels a little out of place. End of society/disaster movies should play on their strengths (action due to the unfolding circumstances) and not be riddled with metaphors and long, drawn out sequences...but maybe that's just me. Just to prove to you that I'm not totally blowing smoke out my ass, here's 2 really artsy things the movie does that probably seemed cool in the planning stage but turn out to be annoying

]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:412068"><img src="http://9.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/d/3/collegehumor.5265cbed7be39708f3297ab377c1806a.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written 2008-10-06 18:51:48 by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:412068">Scott Bennett</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:445"></a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 6 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1762754 How My New Label Maker Got Me Fired From Yankee Candle Wed, 01 Oct 2008 12:02:46 -0400 http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1762754 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2>

]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:412068"><img src="http://9.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/d/3/collegehumor.5265cbed7be39708f3297ab377c1806a.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written 2008-10-01 12:02:46 by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:412068">Scott Bennett</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:445"></a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 227 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1761982 CollegeHumor Movie Review: Righteous Kill Sat, 13 Sep 2008 12:12:37 -0400 http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1761982 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2>

De Niro wears intimidating shirts because that's how he rolls

Welcome! I hope everyone's enjoying being back on campus where they truly are at home.

Alright 'nuff small talk.

Robert De Niro and Al Pacino are 65 and 68 years of age. I would like a brief pause in reading so that information can let that information settle in. Done? OK. This weekend our favorite pair of hard-asses are in theaters with the new flick Righteous Kill. Now, I mentioned their ages not because I'm trying to be a smartass " plenty of actors do awesome jobs way into their later years, Leslie Nielsen is 82 for Christ's sake and the man is still as hilarious as ever...but comedy movies are a different breed. Am I saying it's impossible for 60-year-old actors to look tough and intimidating on screen? Not at all, but it does start to come into question a little more when it starts clashing with the story.

]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:412068"><img src="http://9.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/d/3/collegehumor.5265cbed7be39708f3297ab377c1806a.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written 2008-09-13 12:12:37 by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:412068">Scott Bennett</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:445"></a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 3 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1761411 CollegeHumor Movie Review: College Sun, 31 Aug 2008 10:34:43 -0400 http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1761411 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2>

Don't laugh, this was the original poster for Saw V

Ahhh, Can you smell that in the air? Plastic cups and ping-pong balls fresh out of the packaging and the clean lemony-piney aroma of a brand new (cleaned heavily to hide various human fluids to appear new) dorm room just waiting to be broken in with another full year of good old fashioned debauchery. Its Orientation Week '08, and that means this week we're taking a look at the new movie in theatres this week, College.

As you may have seen from the previews, College follows three High School seniors who go on a road trip to spend orientation week at Fieldmont University, where hilarity ensues.

First of all, something about this movie that dawned on me almost instantly in the theater is that it's been done before. Now, now, don't jump to conclusions and get me wrong; I'm not some kind of brainless idiot here to complain about another college genre movie. Every kind of movie has been done before about a million times, and when they're done right they're hilarious. That's not what I'm talking about. Animal House, Old School, American Pie and Road Trip are all college genre movies but all stand out for different reasons.

]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:412068"><img src="http://9.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/d/3/collegehumor.5265cbed7be39708f3297ab377c1806a.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written 2008-08-31 10:34:43 by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:412068">Scott Bennett</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:445"></a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 14 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1760919 CollegeHumor Movie Review: The Rocker Thu, 21 Aug 2008 11:20:26 -0400 http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1760919 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2>

If you stare at his crotch for 30 seconds with unblinking eyes, the hidden unicorn image appears

Out in theaters this week is the new comedy starring Rainn Wilson, The Rocker. Anyone who is a fan of The Office (myself included) will recognize Wilson as the hilariously weird Dwight Schrute. Aside from The Office, I haven't seen Wilson in too much else, so I can at least say it was a nice change of pace to see him in a role where he isn't constantly creeping me out.

...But enough sunshine and lollipops, let's cut to the chase: this movie heaves. OK, maybe that's a little too strong of a statement, but when I go to see a comedy, is it too much to ask that I laugh every now and then? It's a cutesy story with a really happy ending, but I just didn't laugh when I know that it wanted me to.

The premise itself isn't bad; let me lay it on you.

]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:412068"><img src="http://9.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/d/3/collegehumor.5265cbed7be39708f3297ab377c1806a.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written 2008-08-21 11:20:26 by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:412068">Scott Bennett</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:445"></a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 4 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1760808 Top 10 Songs I Can Never Listen To The Same Way Again Tue, 19 Aug 2008 12:18:59 -0400 http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1760808 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2> #10
Song: "Trust", by Prince
Reason: Parade float scene, Batman (1989)
Not that I listened to this song all that much to begin with, but it still applies to the list. Tim Burton's Batman is a classic, but watching it after the recent wave of new age superhero movies makes you realize how completely ridiculous some of its scenes truly were. Heath may be always remembered as the creepiest Joker, but Jack is no doubt the silliest. The parade scene is by far the funniest part of the movie, and after seeing it a million times it's gotten to the point where if I even hear the interlude to Prince's "Trust" I'll picture that ridiculous clown balloon peeking around the street corner and immediately burst out laughing.

#9
Song: "Bad Day", by Daniel Powter
Reason: RIP Keith Ledger Youtube Video
I still don't know the source of this internet-wide joke, but purposefully calling Heath Ledger "Keith Ledger" for the purpose of sending die hard fans into an anger frenzy doesn't seem like it will ever not be funny. Reading the mile-long list of angry Youtube comments over this video is even funnier with the 'sincere' background music playing, and now the piano interlude alone is enough to send me into a laughing fit.

#8
Song: "O, Fortuna", by Carl Orff
Reason: Jackass: The Movie (2002)
I'm sure that if German composer Carl Orff knew his orchestral masterpiece (which was inspired by the deep, moving poetry of the 13th century) made people not think of the struggle of mankind, but rather Chris Pontius in a banana hammock, he could've died a happier man. The worst part is that this song and the opening/closing sequence match up so perfectly its almost like they were meant for each other. Someone needs to give that editor a medal.

]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:412068"><img src="http://9.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/d/3/collegehumor.5265cbed7be39708f3297ab377c1806a.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written 2008-08-19 12:18:59 by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:412068">Scott Bennett</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:445"></a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 73 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1760586 CollegeHumor Movie Review: Tropic Thunder Thu, 14 Aug 2008 12:11:04 -0400 http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1760586 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2>

This pic makes Smokey the Bear cry inside

Welcome back! This week we're taking a look at the suddenly controversial Tropic Thunder (which is totally my new name if I ever decide to become a Mexican league wrestler). As many of you already know, the film stars Ben Stiller, Jack Black, and Robert Downey Jr. as a group of variously 'talented' actors attempting to make the greatest Vietnam-era war movie of all time. That's the short version. Now here's all the nitty-gritty stuff that you all seem to like so much.

Tropic Thunder isn't a random 'here have some puns' comedy. Sure it has its fair share, but it's more than just that. The entire movie is a gigantic joke playing on the many reasons why Hollywood sucks Dumb, over the top, whiny actors with super inflated ego's, richer than God producers who don't care about anything other than the profit margin of their films, and the insanity of how it all comes together at the worst possible times on a Hollywood set. Also, explosions.

Here's how they play it out.

]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:412068"><img src="http://9.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/d/3/collegehumor.5265cbed7be39708f3297ab377c1806a.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written 2008-08-14 12:11:04 by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:412068">Scott Bennett</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:445"></a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 32 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1760538 Athlete Matchups Wed, 13 Aug 2008 13:11:52 -0400 http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1760538 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2> Now that Michael Phelps is an Olympian athlete of unheard proportions, let's take a close look at the efforts behind the man and how his daily training compares with the routines and actions of all our other favorite present-day sports stars.

Breakfast

Michael Phelps:(in correlation with 8,000-10,000 calorie per day diet) 3 sandwiches of fried eggs, cheese, lettuce, tomato, fried onions and mayo, 1 omelet, abowl of grits, 3 slices of french toast, and some chocolate chip pancakes.

Mike Tyson: Smoked sausage, cooked ham, protein shake, dreams of others, small children

Michael Vick: Bread, water, a freshly tossed salad

Takeru Kobayashi: An entire Denny's

]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:412068"><img src="http://9.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/d/3/collegehumor.5265cbed7be39708f3297ab377c1806a.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written 2008-08-13 13:11:52 by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:412068">Scott Bennett</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:445"></a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 98 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1760295 CollegeHumor Movie Review: Pineapple Express Thu, 07 Aug 2008 11:05:35 -0400 http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1760295 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2>

Guys look, we found a fog machine!

Let me say right now, this movie is up against some steep competition. First of all, with The Dark Knight still in theaters and becoming more valuable by the day than many small, island countries, it's hard to consider going to see anything else. Secondly, this movie has some big shoes to fill in the 'weed comedy' department. Cheech and Chong's Up in Smoke, Half Baked, Dazed and Confused, Harold & Kumar go to White Castle, and even Super Troopers (which is more of a cop humor movie, but still plays the weed element excellently) have all made lasting impressions on the big screen, and rank up pretty well on my personal list of favorite movies. Does Pineapple Express have what it takes to stand out as a solid weed movie?

You better believe it.

Now, I don't want you to confuse me with someone who tosses out good compliments at a movie just because it's "expected to be good". Aside from the majority of compliments received, I did receive a few death threats regarding my review for the much anticipated Hancock. So when a movie comes out starring and written by the funny Seth Rogen, produced and partially written by Judd Apatow as well as Evan Goldberg from Knocked Up and Superbad fame, is it expected to be good? Naturally, but as any 2007 Patriots fan can tell you, always remember that success is never automatically guaranteed by what you have on paper.

]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:412068"><img src="http://9.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/d/3/collegehumor.5265cbed7be39708f3297ab377c1806a.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written 2008-08-07 11:05:35 by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:412068">Scott Bennett</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:445"></a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 29 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1760285 Chad Pennington Updates his Facebook Status Thu, 07 Aug 2008 01:09:52 -0400 http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1760285 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2>

]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:412068"><img src="http://9.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/d/3/collegehumor.5265cbed7be39708f3297ab377c1806a.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written 2008-08-07 01:09:52 by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:412068">Scott Bennett</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:445"></a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 78 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1759702 CollegeHumor Movie Review: Step Brothers Sun, 27 Jul 2008 18:15:35 -0400 http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1759702 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2>

Oddly enough, this is less awkward than my family portrait.

First off, a quick thank you to everyone who participated in the epic discussion of last week's review for The Dark Knight. In depth conversations for excellent movies was one of the many reasons this article was started, so thanks to everyone who made the threads as big as they were.

In theaters this weekend is Will Ferrell's new comedy, Step Brothers. The movie was Directed and co-written by Adam McKay, the yin to Ferrell's yang, who also wrote/directed Anchorman, Talladega Nights, and Internet sensation, The Landlord. Ferrell co-wrote, and stars alongside John C. Reilly as two boys who never grew up, still living with their single parents at age 40.

Lets get something straight right here: Will Ferrell used to be hilarious, but has been on a slow, annoying, downward slope after leaving SNL, playing basically the exact same character in every movie he's done. He is in a sense, dangerously close to turning into a white version of Eddie Murphy, but without the tranny scandals. It's not all bad, though. Anchorman deserves every bit of praise it has ever received for being an excellent comedy, but Elf, Kicking & Screaming, Bewitched, Curious George, Talladega Nights, Blades of Glory, and Semi-Pro (damn that's a long list) are nothing more than sad attempts at trying to live up to the greatness and popularity of Anchorman.

]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:412068"><img src="http://9.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/d/3/collegehumor.5265cbed7be39708f3297ab377c1806a.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written 2008-07-27 18:15:35 by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:412068">Scott Bennett</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:445"></a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 15 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1759310 CollegeHumor Movie Review: The Dark Knight Sat, 19 Jul 2008 14:13:05 -0400 http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1759310 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2>

This symbol was derived from an old Roman diety, the God of 'Epic Win'

I'm going to start off this weeks article with a moment of disturbing realism that many of us may be afraid to admit to. On January 22nd 2008 when Heath Ledger died due to an accidental overdose, about 95% of people reacted to the news in this manner: "Oh my God...did they finish The Dark Knight?" The level of anticipation for this movie has been just as high as, or higher than any other film in recent memory. Batman Begins was a movie that not only redeemed the entire Batman franchise from such horrific failures as Batman and Robin, and Batman Forever, but also redefined the comic book movie genre by adding levels of intense realism, dark protagonist character conflict, and situations concerning the morality of man.

Everyone has been sitting on pins and needles over this movie for the past 3 years, and why not? There's a lot that has been hanging in the balance. Is it possible that this movie will be able to stand up to the greatness of Batman Begins? Or will it be a gross disappointment that tarnishes the series we fell in love with, like Pirates of the Caribbean 2 and 3, and Spider-Man 3? Will Heath Ledgers acting stand out since the last great portrayal of the Joker; Jack Nicholson in the 1989 Batman?

Gather 'round, children, and lets find out.

]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:412068"><img src="http://9.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/d/3/collegehumor.5265cbed7be39708f3297ab377c1806a.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written 2008-07-19 14:13:05 by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:412068">Scott Bennett</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:445"></a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 126 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1759109 Gotham City's Job Postings Over the Years Tue, 15 Jul 2008 23:33:12 -0400 http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1759109 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2>

]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:412068"><img src="http://9.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/d/3/collegehumor.5265cbed7be39708f3297ab377c1806a.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written 2008-07-15 23:33:12 by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:412068">Scott Bennett</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:445"></a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 81 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1758992 CollegeHumor Movie Review: Hellboy II: The Golden Army Mon, 14 Jul 2008 00:26:55 -0400 http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1758992 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2>

Don't be afraid, he's just aerating his lawn

It's time for a get together with everyone's favorite muscular, cigar puffing, profane friend who's obsessed with kittens and daytime TV. No, I ain't talkin about your Grandma, it's Hellboy, and this weekend he's back in theaters for the visual packed sequel, Hellboy II: The Golden Army.

You may know the director, Guillermo del Toro (who looks like a jollier, nerdier Michael Moore) from his signature directing style; making movies with more stunning, dreamlike visuals than you can shake a stick at " Blade II, Hellboy/Hellboy II, and Pan's Labyrinth. To be quite honest, I wasn't that big a fan of the first Hellboy. The characters were entertaining and very creatively made, but the plot was a bit shaky to say the least, and it felt like del Toro didn't get the chance to maximize his visual potential. I just wasn't feeling it.

I went into the theater with about the same mentality, not really expecting much at all other than a movie I probably would never have seen unless it was playing late at night on TBS. I can definitely say now that I was really surprised by The Golden Army.

]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:412068"><img src="http://9.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/d/3/collegehumor.5265cbed7be39708f3297ab377c1806a.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written 2008-07-14 00:26:55 by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:412068">Scott Bennett</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:445"></a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 29 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr />