If the history of PG-rated comedies have taught us anything, it's that grown men posses virtually no nurturing instincts whatsoever, and are incompetent at raising children to the point of felonious neglect. "Mr. Mom" comedies, named after the 1983 Michael Keaton movie of the same name, relishes in the stereotype of the ignorant stay-at-home male. No sooner is it that Mom steps out the door that Dad, a male au pair, or any male entrusted with the well-being of kids, is rendered useless in 90 minutes of toddlers swinging on lampshades and infants pissing on his chest during ill-fated diaper changes.
Examples Include
"Mr. Nanny," "Daddy Day Care," "The Pacifier," "The Game Plan," "Cheaper by the Dozen," "Are We There Yet?" "Cheaper by the Dozen 2," "Mr. Mom"
Common Scenes
-Comically contrasting "tough-guy" casting (e.g. Hulk Hogan, Vin Diesel)
-Dog, toad, or other household pet running rampant through house
-Skateboards hazardously placed atop staircases


'90s Cyber-Thrillers
Hard as it may be to imagine in a present where every suburban household in the country sports a Compaq 2600 in the family room and the Internet's most exciting uses include downloading "300" and watching Asian pornography, computers were once viewed with awe and terror. In that long-ago decade known as the '90s, the "World Wide Web" was a (literally) virtual battlefield in which Keanu Reeves combats cyber-terrorists, Sandra Bullock exposes deadly government secrets, and Russel Crowe has an American accent.
Examples Include
"Lawnmower Man," "Johnny Mnemonic," "The Net," "Virtuosity," "Strange Days," Hackers
Common Scenes
-Protagonist donning comically oversized virtual reality helmet
-Neon green and pink color scheme throughout film and film advertisements
-Digital "Maguffin" in form of microchip, miniature CD-ROM, or floppy disk containing incriminating data

Bass players are the most underappreciated members of any rock band. Next to their more theatrical bandmates, the bass player is often mistaken for boring or stiff. This couldn't be further from the truth. Bass players have many exciting moves all their own, like...

The Guilty Friend Poke: "Hey, remember me? I'm your best friend from middle school. Thank god you updated your profile picture, otherwise I would have forgotten you were alive. Are you alive?

The Sexual Innuendo Poke: "Hey, I saw you staring at me in Chemistry class. Let's 'study' sometime."

The Bored Brother Poke: "Poke."

The Last Resort Poke: "I've already messaged you, wrote on your wall, invited you to a game of Scrabble, and turned you in to a vampire. Next up: making a group dedicated to you."

The Networking Poke: "Hey, remember me, we worked together a year ago. Do you have a cool job yet? Hook it up, yo."

The Ambiguous Poke: "Hi, you don't know what this means, because you actually don't remember friend-ing me in the first place."

The After New Year's Eve Random Make-out Poke: "Hey. That was fun. It's midnight somewhere right now, you know."

The Dad Poke: "Look. I'm jiggy wit it."

The Poke-War Poke: "Hey. What's going on? What are you doing right now? How bout now? Now? Now? Please don't forget about me. Hi."

The Boss Poke: Time to de-activate your account.

- Guess what time it is.

- Four?

- TIME FOR SOME ROUGHAGE, BROTHA!

- Oh man, so hungry. I could go for something to soak this sh*t up.

- Yes. Oh wow, you know what I want? Like... so bad?

- Yes. Oh my God, Yes.

- Pear braised pork tenderloin--

- And fingerling sweet potato puree! I KNEW YOU WERE GOING TO F*CKING SAY THAT!

(They hug)

- Come on I gotta find that sh*t somewhere.

- Slow down dude.

- Oh man, I could totally house like a... like a... like a... coconut-cilantro garden salad with raspberry vinagarette or something?

- Dude, I would down a leafy green with any fruit reduction right now, I don't f*cking care I am so DONE, let's just go!

- Jesus... you have to be sh*tting me, it looks like they're closed.

- God dammit.

- Why are there no 24/7 Il-Trattoria de Vermicelli in this f*cking city!?! This is f*cking retarded!

(They press their faces against the glass entrance doors)

- Sh*t those sun dried tomato baguettes look so FRESH!! UGHHHH! (almost crying) I want one with olive oil so bad...

- Is Pomme Brulée Chez Mère Agathe open? Use your iPhone dude, look it up, I would bust a nut for escargots avec boeuf bourguignon fourrés dans un sanglier bouillabaisse!

- Oui, mon frère, avec des côtes au gros sel, olives vertes et limaçons! Ô mon dieu! Simplement pensant a cette bouffe me fait nostalgique de mes voyages a Saint-Germain. La Bouffe, les hommes, le vin... Ca me fait dur à le penser!

- Ho! Ho! Ô merde! Mon iPhone est mort.

- Let's just go to KFC.

- Huh?

- The Kiwi Fig Chutney-torium.