_________________________________________________________________________________________

---

 

______________________________________________________________________________

One of my brother's friends at Penn State sent this to him and he forwarded it to me. It pretty much summarizes why parents shouldn't be allowed on Facebook.

Coach Bill Belichick discusses a new game plan with offensive coordinator Josh McDaniels after Tom Brady's season-ending injury.

Belichick: How's Brady look?
McDaniels: Pretty bad.
Belichick: Do we need to resort to an emergency plan?
McDaniels: We might have to.
Belichick: Is amputating his leg and replacing it with a machine gun a possibility?
McDaniels: That was a movie.
Belichick: What about that football launcher they use during practice?
McDaniels: What about it?
Belichick: Does it look anything like Brady?
McDaniels: No.
Belichick: Dammit. What about Bo Jackson, is he still around?
McDaniels: I believe so.
Belichick: Sign Bo and cut the rest of the team.
McDaniels: Um.. sir...
Belichick: Wait... who is that famous girls softball player?
McDaniels: Jennie Finch?
Belichick: Is she available?
McDaniels: I don't think pitching translates very well in football.
Belichick: I said nothing about football.
McDaniels: I'll look into it.
Belichick: And while your at it see if you can figure out if Brady has a son.
McDaniels: He does, but he's only 13 months old.
Belichick: How often is he breastfed?
McDaniels: Sir... I think we should stick to using our second-string quarterback.
Belichick: Excuse me?
McDaniels: Matt Cassel.
Belichick: How 'bout you finish up cutting those sleeves off my sweatshirts then get the hell out of my office.

More Awesome at Fatawesome.

Stomach: Cool, he's napping. That's good, I need all the energy I can get to work on those two crunchwrap supremes he just plopped down here.

Colon: Sorry, gotta do my 'thang.

Stomach: Colon! You just woke him up! I'm not even halfway done with this yet. Whatever, sounds like he's up and about now. You're trigger-happy, Colon. It's not safe!

Colon: Sorry.

Stomach: What's that, Skin? He's in the shower? Sounds good. Whadaya say, Balls? He's using a lot of soap? Nice!

Balls: I know!

(splash)

Stomach: What the hell? A beer? A freezing-ass beer in the shower? Whatever it's just one, but really?

I swear to God you guys, she said that. Seriously, you don’t understand how much I need this. Just do this one thing for me, you know I’d do it for you. Check this out.

 
100 likes I get the threesome

 
150 likes and it gets to be with another girl

 
200 likes and I post pictures of it

 
300 likes and she won’t tell people I hit her

 
400 likes and I can have Amir Blumenfeld videotape it

450 likes and Jeff Rubin will videotape Amir videotaping it, and we'll post it on CollegeHumor

 
500 likes and she’ll respect me

 
550 likes and I get anal.