Adam Hrabik's Articles

2 total in September 2008
  • Janet: We should go to dinner.
    Timothy: I agree.
    Janet: We should go to that fancy seafood restaurant.
    Timothy: The one with all the fish hanging on the walls?
    Janet: Oh, white people...you so crazy!
    _____________________________________________________________________

    Charles: Have you seen that show Wipeout?
    Jeremy: Yeah, everyone falls over into the water!
    Charles: What a ridiculous concept!
    Jeremy: You know, white people wrote that show.
    Charles: White people also invented the guillotine.
    Jeremy: White people, you crazy!
    _____________________________________________________________________

    David: This chicken is absolutely scrumptious!
    Marcus: Oh, I concur!
    David: I hope that, through the consumption of this chicken, we are not fulfilling some ridiculous stereotype.
    Marcus: What are you talking about?
    David: Didn't you know? White people think black people eat nothing but fried chicken!
    Marcus: (through a mouthful of thigh meat) White people, you so f*cking crazy!
    _____________________________________________________________________

    Anthony: If I may be so bold as to ask, what are you doing, sir?
    White Person: (while juggling three cans of sardines and playing Stairway to Heaven on a kazoo) I'm praying it rains soon so my tomatoes don't revolt!
    Anthony: You are an absurd human being.
    White Person: Ain't that the truth. (Drops a sardine can, bursts into tears)
    _____________________________________________________________________

    Timothy: I can't believe we almost divorced each other!
    Janet: Thank goodness we were able to resolve our differences in such a formulaic manner!
    (Madea appears out of nowhere)
    Janet: Madea, what are you doing here?
    Madea: I got on the eBay and bought one of them fancy teleporters them white folks made!
    Everyone: Oh white people, you so crazy!


    • V.P. Candidate Sarah Palin validates herself by showing picture of her erecting a Christmas tree in downtown Wasilla.
    • John McCain wakes from nap ten minutes early, before delegates can complete drawing magic marker mustache.
    • Entire arena goes silent when a black man walks into the room, immediately realizes he is at the wrong address, and awkwardly backs out.
    • Small talk in line for the free blood pressure checking station.
    • After leaving the podium, Sarah Palin curses under her breath for forgetting to mention that Barack Obama is a, "know-nothing doo-doo-head."
    • Rudy Giuliani gets "9/11" tattoo on ass to cover up previous "9/11" tattoo on ass which he decided was, "much too small."
    • "No, this is not the Hanoi Hilton!  Who are you?  Stop calling!"
    • Bristol Palin ISOFFLIMITSBRAAGHHADFASOGHDSGHSAOFH320
    • John McCain falls asleep again, mustache drawing resumes.
    • Abortion doctor burned in effigy.
    • Vice Presidency explained to Sarah Palin as, "not quite as good as President, but pretty close."
    • LSD, DUUUUUUUUUUUDE!
    • "Why the fuck is Joe Lieberman still here?"
    • John McCain attempts to wash mustache off of face before discovering his arms are too short to reach his upper lip.
    • Some boring political shit.


Adam Hrabik University of Nebraska at Omaha

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A well-wisher, a pill-pusher, a fly-fisher, a ball-buster, a...

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