CollegeHumor: Comments by Aaron Peever http://www.collegehumor.com http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1917245 I was a contestant on Jeopardy today. Drew my name so it looked like a dick. Mon, 27 Jul 2009 02:06:00 -0400 http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1917245 I was a contestant on Jeopardy today. Drew my name so it looked like a dick. nonadult comedy I was a contestant on Jeopardy today. Drew my name so it looked like a dick. screencap, penis, <table><tr><td> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1917245"><img src="http://2.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/5/c/collegehumor.788652b530790d54c0f97ccc89a6536d.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> <p>Uploaded by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:14001">Turd Ferguson</a> </p> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 278 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1774613 The Only Movies You Watch in Foreign Language Classes Thu, 23 Apr 2009 18:00:00 -0400 http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1774613 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2> French
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]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:945989"><img src="http://8.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/c/4/collegehumor.8879997c887ae4b37f766c44f2de531f.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written 2009-04-23 18:00:00 by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:945989">Susanna Wolff</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:53"></a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 290 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1774507 Response to My Letters to Somali Pirates Requesting They Take up a More Traditional Approach to Piracy on the High Seas Thu, 23 Apr 2009 17:00:00 -0400 http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1774507 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2> Dear Mr.Peever,

Thank you very much for your letters. It's good to know that despite all the negative attention we've been receiving in the media, that we are still able to garner some support. However, at this time, we feel that it would be best if we not heed the advice you've been so graciously offering and continue doing things our own way.

While we do agree that it would look "totally badass" if we were to don the more flamboyant look of pirates from the 18 century, the heavy wool jackets and puffy blouses are hard to come by in this part of the world. Also, I don't know if you've ever sailed along the coast of Somalia (I don't recommend it, LOL), but it is extremely hot here. My men would surely succumb to heatstroke and other wearing-a-wool-coat-with-thick-pants-and-leather-boots-under-a-relentlessly-hot-sun-related medical conditions. It just doesn't seem like a practical choice.

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]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:478183"><img src="http://0.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/4/6/collegehumor.c74708143afb3e74e019f226019c90b1.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written 2009-04-23 17:00:00 by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:478183">Aaron Peever</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:133"></a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 29 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1773605 The CollegeHumor Show The Canada Years Tue, 07 Apr 2009 17:41:20 -0400 http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1773605 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2> Hey, some good news and bad news for our Canadian fans. The good news? The CollegeHumor show is going to start airing on Canadian television (on MuchMusic) on Tuesdays and Thursdays at 6 and 9PM starting on April 14th. The bad news? You live in Canada.

So watch our show, Canadians! Catch up on all those inside jokes you missed. And to our American fans- watch out, Canada just got slightly cooler. We don't want them to keep this up.

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]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:298"><img src="http://9.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/b/1/collegehumor.2618616bb5cffc06c7d7b8216893ee97.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:298">Jake Hurwitz</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:55"></a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 78 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1765757 Sorry, But Your Bailout Request Has Been Denied Wed, 10 Dec 2008 14:00:00 -0500 http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1765757 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2> Dear Sir,

We regret to inform you that after reviewing your application we have decided not to approve your request for a bailout package. We understand that the economy has taken quite a hit, and that many industries are struggling, unfortunately at this time, we will not be able to extend any relief funds to you.

Part of what went into our decision is the crude way in which you made your request. A dishevelled cardboard sign with the words "SPARE CHANGE" scrawled illegibly in magic marker is no way to ask for money. It's intrusive, impersonal, and most of all, it comes off a little strong. A more inviting method would be to charter a private jet to our offices and make the request in person over some brandy.

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]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:478183"><img src="http://0.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/4/6/collegehumor.c74708143afb3e74e019f226019c90b1.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written 2008-12-10 14:00:00 by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:478183">Aaron Peever</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:133"></a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 16 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1765093 Dear Sweetheart: Letters Home From A Soldier Tue, 02 Dec 2008 18:00:00 -0500 http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1765093 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2>
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]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:478183"><img src="http://0.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/4/6/collegehumor.c74708143afb3e74e019f226019c90b1.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written 2008-12-02 18:00:00 by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:478183">Aaron Peever</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:133"></a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 54 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1765091 Excerpts From My Grandfather's Autobiography That Lead Me To Believe He Might Not Have Been As Tolerant of Other Races as He Has Let On Mon, 24 Nov 2008 16:00:00 -0500 http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1765091 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2> "It was not long after Thanksgiving that I started getting terrible and constant headaches. My wife suggested that I go to the hospital and get checked out. 'Better safe than sorry,' she always cautioned. After a series of CAT scans and MRIs Dr. Rabinowitz, a Jew, broke the devastating news: Cancer."

"The winter of '67 was especially trying for my family. The mill closed that November so I was out of work again. Also, the Chinaman who was supposed to fix our furnace didn't do a good job. Not that I was expecting him to."

"I had finally managed to scrape together enough money for an engagement ring. I had to hock my beloved guitar in order to do so but seeing the look on Grace's face when I popped the question, I briefly forgot she was half Italian. It was beautiful."

"Her first weekend home from college, my daughter introduced us to her new boyfriend, Jamal. Terrific, I thought to myself, I guess we can kiss our VCR goodbye."

"On his seventh birthday Eldon, my youngest son, received a badminton set from a schoolmate of his. We had hardly finished dessert when a wayward shuttlecock caused him to put his racket through our sliding glass door. He was always such a clumsy cracker."

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]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:478183"><img src="http://0.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/4/6/collegehumor.c74708143afb3e74e019f226019c90b1.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written 2008-11-24 16:00:00 by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:478183">Aaron Peever</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:133"></a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 27 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1888794 Pre-Teen Spirit Tue, 04 Nov 2008 14:34:49 -0500 http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1888794 Pre-Teen Spirit nonadult comedy 11-year-old guitar prodigy Sungha Jung locked himself in a room after getting into a fight with his mom and practiced 60 hours straight to learn this song. Kid, Guitar, <table><tr><td> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1888794"><img src="http://5.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/c/f/collegehumor.2d29b4ec32173c514147255fa36f26ef.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> <p>Uploaded </p> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 433 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1764005 The Hobo Dictionary: A Guide to Transient Identification Wed, 29 Oct 2008 18:00:00 -0400 http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1764005 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2> Most people who live in large, urban centers, or anyplace where the population has cracked 100 or so, probably have at least one hobo around town. And while the popular sentiment is that homelessness is a problem and we need to help, there's also the pervasive monkey on the back of every hobo: namely that they're a raving loon who thinks they have a monkey on their back. But this is just a stereotype and the fact is there are many stereotypes that deserve equal consideration. And thanks to the current economy we're all enjoying, the future of hoboing is brighter than ever.  Thus, in the tradition of Mutual of Omaha's Wild Kingdom, we offer you this guide to identify and catalog hobos.

The Ranter - A popular vagabond due to their "look at me" style, the Ranter is the wastrel you cross the street to avoid and not just because of that stank. Indeed, on a warm summer's day, the Ranter may set himself up outside your favorite mall, one eye looking skyward while the other attempts to peer into your very soul and begin raving about how the government put arsenic in his oatmeal and those geese in the park are nothing but sodomites who talk about him behind his back. The Ranter's effectiveness seems to directly correlate to both how loud he can share a string of epic obscenities and how well dressed the people he wants to listen to him are.

 

 


The Entrepreneur - No regular bum this, the Entrepreneur is the 'can do' vagrant of today. Not content to be like his begging cousins, the Entrepreneur has a get up and go that makes him wait at busy intersections with a scrap of newsprint and an old Coke bottle he's filled with water and hand sanitizer from down at the clinic. When he finds a potential client stuck at a red light, he springs into action by hobbling over and smudging the sanitizer-laced paper across their windshield in exchange for a few cents. And while this may actually make the window dirtier, you can't make an omelet without breaking a few eggs and this drifter can't make your window clean if he's covered in his own urine.

 

 

 

The Millionaire - Curiously, once a town gets large enough, the Millionaire inevitably shows up in local lore and will remain for many years. Potentially disguised as a Ranter, the Millionaire is just what his name suggests. He's stinking rich. At least that's what everyone says, because it's fun to believe when you're enjoying the lower middle class life, someone out there achieved their fortune and decided that instead of living in a mansion, living behind the KFC dumpster and wearing shoes made out of hardened discs of feces would be an interesting adventure to go on. This tramp never speaks of their fortune, potentially due to dementia or just snobbery, and will often be seen counting out pennies to buy McDonald's coffee on a Sunday morning.

 

 

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]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:1657090"><img src="http://7.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/e/f/collegehumor.f221f34e9fa3c2a03021eebf5e1745e5.gif"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written 2008-10-29 18:00:00 by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:1657090">Fortey</a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 130 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1818168 Mario after getting the magic bottle cap power-up. Fri, 06 Jun 2008 09:03:00 -0400 http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1818168 Mario after getting the magic bottle cap power-up. nonadult comedy Mario after getting the magic bottle cap power-up. bottle cap, mario, <table><tr><td> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1818168"><img src="http://9.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/4/a/collegehumor.8fe045246ab45c1d3cbb0e3aa0c890bf.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> <p>Uploaded by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:11323">Damien</a> </p> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 56 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1755588 Caption Contest: Week of 5/19 Wed, 21 May 2008 14:02:25 -0400 http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1755588 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2>
RULES: Leave your one best entry as a comment, not a reply. Winner, as chosen by a poll next week, gets a BustedTee. Hit the keep reading for the last two pictures and nominees...
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]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:945989"><img src="http://8.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/c/4/collegehumor.8879997c887ae4b37f766c44f2de531f.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written 2008-05-21 14:02:25 by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:945989">Susanna Wolff</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:53"></a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 25 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1754376 Caption Contest Fri, 02 May 2008 02:07:13 -0400 http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1754376 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2> A little different today... I am going to pick the ten best captions of the picture below. Runners up (Numbers 2-9) win a beer pong rack and balls from www.tfc.com. Grand Prize wins a beer pong rack and balls and a free BustedTee. Contests ends at 3:00am EST... and go!

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]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:128053"><img src="http://7.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/a/e/collegehumor.e6ecc1ea45a24925c0772a0ee94f48a6.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:128053">Doug Kellner</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:553"></a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 5 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1754376 Caption Contest Fri, 02 May 2008 02:07:13 -0400 http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1754376 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2> A little different today... I am going to pick the ten best captions of the picture below. Runners up (Numbers 2-9) win a beer pong rack and balls from www.tfc.com. Grand Prize wins a beer pong rack and balls and a free BustedTee. Contests ends at 3:00am EST... and go!

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]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:128053"><img src="http://7.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/a/e/collegehumor.e6ecc1ea45a24925c0772a0ee94f48a6.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:128053">Doug Kellner</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:553"></a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 5 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1754354 Count to Twenty-Five Thu, 01 May 2008 23:48:47 -0400 http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1754354 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2> In the comment box, count to twenty-five consecutively. No replies. No repeats. Only numbers, no spellling of the numbers. First person to say each number wins a free BustedPoster... and go!

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]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:128053"><img src="http://7.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/a/e/collegehumor.e6ecc1ea45a24925c0772a0ee94f48a6.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:128053">Doug Kellner</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:553"></a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 18 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1812098 Egg Prank Fri, 18 Apr 2008 14:29:55 -0400 http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1812098 Egg Prank nonadult comedy Yoke's on you. Prank, Food, Eggs, <table><tr><td> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1812098"><img src="http://8.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/6/7/collegehumor.cb89ba0695b01e36302bf6a7774ca378.png"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> <p>Uploaded </p> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 1273 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1810383 Rock Band Traffic Fri, 11 Apr 2008 17:45:28 -0400 http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1810383 Rock Band Traffic nonadult comedy "Through the Fire and Flames" becomes very dangerous for a lot of people. CH Originals, guitar hero, CH Sketches, <table><tr><td> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1810383"><img src="http://3.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/4/2/collegehumor.dc059f14b26e0ae7110183e25735173c.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> <p>Uploaded by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:21877">CH Staff</a> </p> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 990 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1752702 Issue #55 Tue, 08 Apr 2008 15:37:36 -0400 http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1752702 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2>

The best part of wakin' up (at 6PM on Tuesday).

I used to have a coke problem. Every time I did it I wanted to sing karaoke.
-Yanni Gogolect
Ohio State Fan Who Doesn't Get It
"I like Ohio State so much, I bleed red."
-Nick Doremus
Politically Correct Bigoted Preacher
-Heterosexually-challenged individuals are in league with Satan!
-Members of the New Testament-deprived Biblical community are a threat to America!
-You must not allow your daughters to wear jewelery or makeup lest they begin to offer sexual favors as their livelihood!
-Vimmy Nothing
Crazy Presidential Coincidences
1. Lincoln's secretary's last name was Kennedy, and Kennedy's secretary's last name was Lincoln.
2. Abraham's son was present at the assassinations of both James Garfield and William McKinley.
3. The magic ice bullet used to kill Kennedy was actually produced in a secret underground laboratory in Lincoln, Nebraska!
-Alec Kretchun
The doctor said my grandpa had the lungs of a 9-year-old... who'd been smoking for 70 years.
-James S
The Writers of "Meet the Spartans" Doing Stand-up
"Remember when Britney shaved her head...? Ok thank you, that's our time. Hope we were able to remind you of things."
-Jonathan Gabrus
Ways In Which To Actually "Party Like It's 1999"
1. Ensure all electronic party equipment is Y2K compatible
2. Suggest "Austin Powers"-themed costumes to guests
3. Actually care about Will Smith's "Willennium"
-Patrick Cassels
Peter Pan in Various Situations
- In Traffic: "I ain't getting any older!"
- In Waiting Room: "I ain't getting any older!"
-At Psychiatrist: "Do you have any idea what it feels like to know you're never going to die?"
-Amir Blumenfeld
I don't know what India's flag looks like, all I know is they should trade with Japan.
-Tommy Wilder
Why Smoking Weed Is A Lot Like Going To A Baseball Game
-A hit is always good
-Things can move really slowly
-You'll spend fifty dollars on food
-America's favorite passtime
-Martin Van Os
Putting the "D*ck" In "Masochistic"
A man with a giant scar on his face meets his friend at a bar.
FRIEND: Jesus, Man, are you okay? What happened?"
MAN: I hurt myself.
FRIEND How?
MAN: No, idiot. I hurt myself.
-Dave Fishel
Musings on the Game of Bridge
Here's a question of theory: When your opponents open the bidding, should you climb in with a light hand, hoping to disrupt their auction, or should you act only with sound values so your partner can judge what to do? If you are still reading this you are an enormous loser.
-Jeff Rubin
Click here to submit your own 105%.
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]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:193715"><img src="http://3.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/0/3/collegehumor.32aef8c071da54cebf90f683568f0d30.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written 2008-04-08 15:37:36 by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:193715">105%-O-Matic</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:1446"></a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 45 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1809493 Soccer Star Scores Off Own Goal Tue, 01 Apr 2008 12:37:55 -0400 http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1809493 Soccer Star Scores Off Own Goal nonadult comedy Why kick once when you can do two at twice the effort? Sports, Soccer, <table><tr><td> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1809493"><img src="http://3.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/7/0/collegehumor.35f960f7755089397aa53a90dfc8354b.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> <p>Uploaded </p> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 142 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1751089 Issue #51 Tue, 11 Mar 2008 16:51:11 -0400 http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1751089 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2>

Brought to you by the coolest crew since "Star Trek: Deep Space Nine" went off the air.

Spending so much time on Jeopardy has ruined his joke structure.
Who is Alex Trebek?
-Mark Henry
According to IMDB, Cory Matthews was in all 158 episodes of Boy Meets World. Shawn Hunter was only in 157. Can you guess which episode he wasn't in? It was the one when Cory needed him most.
-Kevin Corrigan
Archeologically-Correct "Indiana Jones" Films
-Indiana Jones and the Radiocarbon Dating of Atypical Soil Samples
-Indiana Jones and the Unpublished Academic Article
-Indiana Jones and the Last Semester Before Tenure
-Patrick Cassels
I think there should be a law, that if you walk down the street while smoking a cigarette, the back of your shirt should read "I'm slowly killing you."

The front should read an even more embarrassing: "Beauty is in the Eye of the Beer Holder."
-Amir Blumenfeld
I ordered an everything bagel but it didn't have any orange crayons on it, so
I sent it back.
-Jeff Rubin
Rhyming Skills
If you can't find a word that rhymes with "orange," then you are uncreative, unimaginative, and unglorange.
-Aaron Peever
Cannibal TV
The Brady Brunch
How I Ate Your Mother
Two and a Half Men
-Sean Curry

If you could travel back in time and tell the ten year-old me that I would like diet soda someday, I'd probably be like, "Holy sh*t! You can time travel?! What does soda taste like in the future?!"
-Streeter Seidell
Some people are like Slinkies, not much use but fun to push down a flight of stairs.
-John Zanussi
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]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:193715"><img src="http://3.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/0/3/collegehumor.32aef8c071da54cebf90f683568f0d30.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written 2008-03-11 16:51:11 by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:193715">105%-O-Matic</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:1446"></a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 38 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1804184 This baby is chill. Wed, 05 Mar 2008 07:23:00 -0500 http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1804184 This baby is chill. nonadult comedy This baby is chill. <table><tr><td> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1804184"><img src="http://0.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/1/1/collegehumor.1327a011551bf9210304dc711fd94705.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> <p>Uploaded by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:1535013">Saber</a> </p> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 45 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr />