Kevin Slane's Articles

2 total in June 2008

  • A Mighty Morphin' Chatroom


    View Article


    Like it? You Like it! (20) Comments (10)

  • How I Would Make "Independence Day" 2 1/2 Hours Shorter

    So our technology kinda blows, big whoop, wanna fight about it?
    The President (Bill Pullman): My God, we can't penetrate their shields! How will we ever defeat this alien scourge? I've been furrowing my brow and making all the motivational speeches I can, yet nothing has worked!


    Jeff Goldblum: Well sir, I believe if we fly into the mothership, and upload a virus, we can effectively disable their shield for a matter of minutes and stage a massive, coordinated att-

    Drunk Pilot Dude (Randy Quaid): Look, the ship is opening up to fire! I'm gonna fly my plane right into it and jam its firing mechanism like a kidney stone stuck in a dude's urethra! Despite my rampant alcoholism and lack of care for my children, I am entirely trustworthy for this mission!

    Jeff Goldblum: That's preposterous, there's no way that this advanced alien race could possibly overlook such an obvious technological error, we mu-

    Drunk dude: Time's up! Let's do this! Raaaaaaaaaaaaaandyyyy Quaaaaaaiiiiiiddd (flies plane into alien pee-hole, ship explodes.)

    Will Smith: Welcome to Earth, bitch!

    Roll Credits


    View Article


    Like it? You Like it! (12) Comments (8)
    • Kevin Slane University of Wisconsin

    About Me

    I got the gift of gab, and I intend to use it, fella. I'm known around here more for comments which are entirely too long and the occasional humorous article. I'm a journalism (probably soon switching to English) major who channels all of his strengths in the wrong places, like on here, rather than into the paper I have due in 3 hours. I write for The Daily Cardinal, Wisconsin's student newspaper, and blog for a few other random websites of no real consequence. Facebook me, it'll be like we're friends fo' rizzeal!

    View profile
    Send a message

    Calendar

    Visit Our Partners

    next previous

    BFF

    With hot models, sports, fitness and entertainment news, hot models and hot models, Bullz-Eye.com has become one of the Web's most popular dude sites.