CollegeHumor: Comments by Everett http://www.collegehumor.com http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1755364 Roommate Confessions: Issue 26 Fri, 16 May 2008 10:24:49 -0400 http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1755364 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2> It's been an entire week since your last confession and there's been alot of good, solid sinning going on across the country. Check out thetop 5 and don't forget to submit your misdeeds to RoommateConfessions@GMail.com.

My roommate was a jerk and a liar. Every morning after I finish my cereal, I let my dog finish up the milk and any leftover cereal. I then put it in the dishdrainer on top. That way he'll use it for his cereal without it being washed. He ate his cereal every morning with dog slobber and never noticed.
C, UIUC

Last year, I lived in a house with 6 other people. 1 of them, Dan, was an alcoholic. He also never bathed and actually stank up the entire house from the 2nd floor. It was like living with a homeless person because he also didn't pay rent and stole our booze, food, and various small things all the time. One day, I had bought some SoCo to mix up SoCo and lime for a party. We only used about 1/4 of it, because SoCo tastes like ass. I came back from work and found about 1/3 of what was left in the bottle missing. I figured that I must have miscounted it before. The next day, I come back from work and find another 1/3 missing and Dan's acting like his usual drunken self. All the booze-stealing finally pissed me off to a point where I couldn't let it go unchecked. I hid the bottle in my closet for the next few days and ordered some ipecac off of eBay. After it came in, I dumped a full bottle in the last of the SoCo and left it out. A couple days later, I come home from work and find chili sprayed all over the snow in the front yard and Dan inside holding his stomach. The bastard still had the nerve to tell me that he didn't steal any of my booze. He just vanished a few months later, so my friends got drunk and smashed up everything in his room and stole a few games, DVDs, and some stupid claw fantasy weapon, (he was a goth kid), and pissed all over his bed. Then they taped a plastic sheet over the door to keep out the smell. A few months later, he came back to grab all his shit and we haven't heard from him since.
Keith, School Not Given
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John Cusack-a-Like
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But there are some things that are timeless – things that will always be awesome, no matter how old we get. The following is a list of some of my favorites.

Hotel Pools
No matter where I’m going, for whatever reason, my first question upon booking a hotel room is whether or not they have a pool. I don’t know what it is about swimming indoors that gets me so pumped, but a pool at my hotel provides me with just as much enjoyment as it did when I was eight. I may have lost the swimmies, the goggles, and I might not pee in the water (as much), but a hotel pool is always #1 in my book.

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]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:563001"><img src="http://9.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/b/9/collegehumor.cf54b46b2f97049222ea03d9cd14a553.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:563001">Kev Kage</a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 37 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1757550 Water Balloon Crotch Thu, 10 May 2007 09:15:19 -0400 http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1757550 Water Balloon Crotch nonadult comedy If you told someone fifty years ago that hurting yourself, filming it, and showing it to the world was going to be big, they would probably think you're crazy. water balloon, willing, ouch, shirtless dude, <table><tr><td> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1757550"><img src="http://4.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/0/d/collegehumor.0ad98010aeda6decd96e16ad56d61639.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> <p>Uploaded by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:99620">Brendan</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:87"></a> </p> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 429 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr />