Mary Kolesnikova's Articles

3 total in April 2007

  • E-Mails to Microsoft

    by Mary Kolesnikova April 07, 2007

    Dear Microsoft,

    Recently I purchased your Windows Vista operating system, and I would just like to inform you that at no time during my usage of this new system did I actually say "Wow"... Oh shoot.  I just did, didn't I? Gosh darn you! You win every time, Bill Gates, you win every time.

    We'll see about that.

    Brian Schmeck

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  • You Know You're A Freshman If Your Facebook Looks Like:

    by Mary Kolesnikova April 03, 2007

    Dale Abbott added “Drinking” to his interests. 4:36 am

    Ben Nimmons wrote on Laura Boyd’s wall. 10:25 am
    “Hey, really good seeing you last night. Sorry about your shirt. No I’m not.”

    Alexandra Taylor is attending Delta Gamma Gold Pro’s and Country Club Ho’s 2007. 11:28 am

    Carl Grishom is back on campus… ladies. 12:18 pm

    Mike Owens joined the group Lovin that Sticky Icky- UCSB chapter. 1:48 pm

    Josh Crowens joined the group If This Facebook Group Gets 10,000 members I’ll Totally Blow YOUR MOM. 2:27 pm

    Riley Kenna added “The DaVinci Code” to her favorite books. 3:01 pm

    Amy Blader added “Animal House” to her favorite movies. 3:17 pm

    Kyle Nunez added “Grandma’s Boy heh heh” to his favorite movies. 4:20 pm

    Tom Campbell added “AquaTeen” to his favorite TV shows. 5:11 pm

    Amber Escobar edited Spring Break Plans in her profile. “Going to Daytona with the Dunne Hall 5 Crew!!! Yayayaya! Dunne 5!” 6:33 pm

    CaYci BlAkE is gOiNg to CLaRan KaRaoKe and you BITCHEZZ beTTEr Be thURR!!! DoN’t sToP bEliEvI’N!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 10:32 p.m.


    Nikki Wasson tagged Elizabeth Stein in six photos. 11:54 pm
    Tagged in: “Tits, Ass and DG for Life!”

    Jake Vale is 2 in da pink, THREE in da stink, hoes! 1:35 am

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  • Blog Types

    by Mary Kolesnikova April 03, 2007
    These days, everyone has a blog (or "weblog" for short) Over the years, several unmistakable types have emerged:

    “The Comfy Cozy Blog”

    Sample: “Hey guys, welcome to my little home on the Internet, that’s the ‘net for those of you in the know, hehehe. Pull up a chair and I’ll start some tea for you. This is my life. Stop by often, I’ve always got kooky stories, random ramblings and lots of hugs to share!”

    Pros: This blog is like an awesome acid flashback to the days of MIDI files and animated GIF domination. You can revisit your own awkward web moments because it’s probably hosted on Geocities. Oh, and you may want to take down that "New" icon next to your picture section. Those scanned photos of you from eighth grade are anything but "fresh." Cool sunglasses though!

    Cons: You will have to read about babies, scrapbooking, cats and cats who make scrapbooks about babies.

    “Bitter Music Obsession Blog”

    Sample: “Did you guys know that Bushwalla’s cover of Hotel Yorba was actually going to be featured on the same album as Cat Power’s I want to Be the Boy White Stripes cover? That’s so ridiculous they might as well have put it on the same album as The Raconteur’s It Ain’t Easy. Yeah, you like that? What about maybe just throwing the whole thing to shit and sticking it on with 5 on the 5 or the White Stripes Moonage Daydream Bowie cover? Idiots. F*ck PitchFork.”

    Pros: You feel like you can finally talk to that indie chick that works for the Lit Mag.

    Cons: She hasn’t heard of any of this sh*t either.
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Mary Kolesnikova
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If you Google me, you will find three, count 'em three, Eastern European...

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