1. If a tomato is a fruit, why does it not taste like one?

2. Why is the word fruit used to call someone gay?

Things look a little different when you're drunk...

The presidential debate is tonight and we here at CollegeHumor think the youth need to play a bigger role in the democratic process. To get the ball rolling we've invented an awesome new drinking game just for you!

College can be expensive. Replacing brand name products with cheaper, generic alternatives can save both time and money. For example:

Things look a little different when you're drunk...

1994

Mom: Steve, try on these Bugle Boy pants I bought you.

Me: OK.

Mom: The cuffs are stretchy so you don't tear them when you play.

Me: I pooped in them already.

1996

Me: Fellas, the Big Dog is in da house! See, it says so on my shirt.

Lucas: We all have Big Dogs on our shirts. Mine is dressed like Darth Vader, but it says Bark Vader, 'cause he's a dog.

Me: Lucas, no one cares about your gay Darth Vader shirt.

Lucas: What does gay mean?

Me: I don't know, Luc, probably has something to do with your mushroom cut.

Jesus and the Leper, Mark 1:40-47

...40 And there came a leper to him, beseeching him, and kneeling down to him, and saying unto him, if though wilt, thou canst make me clean.  41 And Jesus, moved with compassion, put forth his hand, and saith unto him, I will; dost thou have insurance? 42 And the leper saith unto him, Yes. I have Empire Blue Cross.  43 And Jesus asked of the leper, Dost thou have the PPO or the HMO? 44 And the leper saith unto him, I have the HMO. 45 And Jesus saith unto him, I am sorry, my child, but heal you I cannot, for I only accept Empire Blue Cross' PPO plan.  46 And the leper wept, but Jesus saith unto him, Perhaps another messiah will be along who accepts your plan.  47 And he sent the leper away from him. 

Jesus Enters Jerusalem, Matthew 21:10-21

10 When Jesus entered Jerusalem, the whole city was stirred and asked, "Who is this?" 11The crowds answered, "This is Jesus, the prophet from Nazareth in Galilee." 12 And the soldier at the gate saith unto him, Halt, for thy needeth the proper scrolls to enter into the city. 13 And Jesus felt along his robe and professed, Good soldier, I cannot believe this but I fear I have misplaced my scroll at this time.  But, I assure you I am the Nazarene for whom the crowd cries.  14 The soldier saith unto him, I believe you but I am under orders to collect scrolls from all who enter this city. 15 Jesus protested but the soldier could not be persuaded to stand down. 16 And the soldier saith unto Jesus, You should never leave your village without your scroll. 17 And Jesus saith back unto him, I swear upon my Father, I did not. 18 And then Jesus asked how long until a new scroll could be prepared for him. 19 And the soldier saith unto him, Six to eight weeks, as the cock crows. 20 Then Jesus shook his head and saith unto himself, Unbelievable. Absolutely unbelievable. 21 And he rode back into the desert from whence he came, shaking his head still. 

Remember a while ago when we hired a new illustrator and he worked on a few pet projects for us?Well, we got a new one and he was cool enough to do some work on this awesome comic strip Jake and I have been brainstorming for a while. Enjoy.

Oh, and Pat whined until he got his own panel in this one as well.