God I look great tonight! Okay, so the shirt is a little too small, but hey I did almost 20 push ups yesterday! Oh crap, there's that frigging guy again, I wonder what he'll get... Oh lemme guess, he'll order five 7&7's and turn into a belligerent assh*le by number 4. He may as well leave now, cuz I'm kicking his skinny gay ass out after number 3.
What? What? Oh look at this fag, showing off in front of his girlfriend, calling me "Chief" cuz he thinks it makes him cool. Well guess what, fag, I'm not Indian! Yeah, here's your stupid Corona Light, you stupid sh*t. Oh, I forgot the lime? Well, guess what, you're not getting a lime! Why? Cuz we're out of limes! I forgot to cut them at the beginning of my shift cuz I was too busy looking at how good I look this shirt but I'm not about to tell YOU that! Still think you're better than me? Guess where this shirt is from. Just guess. Give up? Express Men's! That place isn't cheap, but I can afford it... sometimes. They have good sales.
This is an email confiscated from some girl's computer regarding her plans for this past weekend...
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