I don’t understand women. Does anyone? No one on Entourage does except for Lloyd, and he doesn’t even like girls.

Example One
E had a rough time this week. I actually felt bad for him. He probably had a chance with Anna, but Vince and Billy ruined it. They peer-pressured him into telling Anna that Billy’s crazy new script was good. Now, what I don’t understand is: when E came clean and told Anna not to do the movie, she fired him and now they’re no longer speaking. I’m confused! E could have kept lying to her, but he did the right thing. I 100% thought E was going to walk into the airport and say “Yeah guys, I had sex with her.” If television has taught me anything it’s that honesty=sex. Now I’m all confused.

Example Two
If being honest to girls is bad, then lying is good, right? No. Ari got in trouble for trying to be nice to his nameless wife. He didn’t want to hurt her feelings by telling her that he didn’t want her with them in Cannes. I thought that was sweet. She did not agree with me. OK, I guess I can understand the woman’s side on this one. What I don’t understand is: Ari’s wife always yells at him for spending too much, so to spite him she went on a shopping spree? If she spends all of their money, she’s going to have to beg her parents for money. Women are so weird. Also, Ari’s wife is a passive-aggressive biatch.

If there’s one thing Entourage has been lacking lately, it’s Johnny Drama. They made up for it last night. The main plot of the episode was about Los Angeles airport being on lockdown because of a terror alert. It should have been an annoying way to extend the season for an episode; instead it was a great way to fill an episode with great Drama lines. Here’s a rundown of my favorite Drama moments from last night:

• Drama refused to give Turtle tranquilizers before the flight in-case there was a terrorist on the plane and they needed strong, able men to take him down
• Drama was excited that, if there plane went down, the headline would read Chase Brothers Dead, not Vincent Chase And Brother Perish In Crash
• Drama was convinced a group of nuns were terrorists because, “you don’t think it’s odd that a group of nuns is traveling to the South of France?”

Best Drama Scene Of The Episode Award
Drama and Turtle found someone waiting for their plane wearing a middle east-style headwear. Drama’s solution was to befriend him, so that in the event that he was a terrorist he would be spared. Just as Drama was offering to take the man to dinner in France, he learned that they wouldn’t be flying together, which led to this wonderful bit of dialogue:

Man: How do I get in touch with you?
Drama: You don’t. If it’s meant to be we’ll run into each other. Farewell my friend.

Classic Drama.

Other exciting moments in the episode included Lloyd absolutely spazzing out when being told he could come to Cannes (the offer was later rescinded), and a fun cameo by Kanye West. I have to give Kanye credit; he’s a funny guy. The Zach G. video was great, I enjoyed his part on Entourage to. He offered to let Vince and friends ride in his plane, then told them that he’d only been taking lessons for a week and that “it’s kind of illegal” but he’d get them there. Then he was all like JK LOL! Good stuff.

The seasons almost over, and it seems like some pretty interesting stuff is going to go down in Cannes. Predictions? If the lines we heard from Silo today are any indication of Billy’s previous work, then I think Medellin is going to suck hard.

When a girl says she’s not high maintenance, it means she is. Anna Farris is a high maintenance client. E found out the hard way last night. I know what some of you are going to say. Some of you think that it isn’t her fault. You think it’s her boyfriend’s fault. I’m sure I’d find it in the comments section if I didn’t address it now. It is her fault because she chose her boyfriend and let him come to her photo shoot.

If I was E I’d get out of there now, Anna is only going to lead to trouble. As Vince eloquently and accurately put it, “not all clients are as easy as me.” I’m going to assume that he meant that in a sexual connotation, since E spent the majority of his on-screen time with Anna flirting her up. He could probably sleep with her, but it’s up in the air. My guess is that we haven’t seen the last of her dumbass boyfriend. E would have an easier time sleeping with Vince than Anna. Vince will sleep with anyone. He’s clearly the easier client.

It was fun seeing Vince, Turtle and Drama fending for themselves. At first I thought Vince an idiot for sticking with his “everything will work itself out” motto in a time of crisis, but then it did. Vince is so laid back his blood pressure would register him as clinically dead. I like it. It’s nice to have some characters that don’t yell. I’m also not convinced that Turtle can read. I think he recognizes words like naked, boobs and marijuana, but I don’t think he has the attention span to make it through a sentence. I like that too. The main thing I learned about Vince and the boys this week is that they don’t leave the couch when E isn’t around, except to go to the hot tub. I'm jealous.

The Ari plot wasn’t that interesting this week. It was full of tension-filled, high-pressure moments, but that’s pretty standard at the Gold Agency. I did enjoy seeing Ari try to deal with Billy. Billy is a useless human being, just the most disagreeable person ever. His response to never working in movies again was “well good thing I paint.” What a dick. I knew he wouldn’t kill himself when he locked himself in the bathroom like an emo 12-year-old, but maybe I was hoping just a little.

God damn is Ari shrewd! Bursting into a studio execs office and waiting for him to get out of the shower takes some balls. It led up to a great scene that pretty much summed up the film industry. In response to Dana Gordon admitting that the silo script is great: “Can we market it?”

Other great lines:
“Stop fucking talking like Randy Jackson.” – Anna Farris while breaking up with her boyfriend

“I made some lamb kebabs, want some?” – Drama to Ari while he was freaking out

“Don’t be mad, I was just scanning it for the sex scenes. There’s two. They’re good.” – Turtle to Vince about not reading the script

“Shut the fuck up, Lloyd!” – Ari to Lloyd

And the cheesy sitcom line of the episode award goes to:
“Silo, where’s the snow?” – E (cue laugh track)

LA is weird. When someone crashes into my car it’s usually a dumb high-school girl, or white trash dude. That’s New Jersey. In LA, there’s a good chance you’ll bump bumpers with a hot model/actress, Harrison Ford or ET the extra-terrestrial. Famous people have cars and sometimes they crash them. I know Entourage is just a TV show, but E’s fender bender last night with Anna Faris wasn’t that far-fetched. The fact that she was naked and very cordial about the incident may have been a little far-fetched.

Thanks to those of you who messaged me to let me know that I didn't write my column last week, I wouldn't have known without you. Sorry for the gap, I've been pretty busy lately. On that note, I didn't have time to write out a full column this week. Instead, here are my notes from last night's episode:

• E got a little office so he could work without interruptions
• E's office consists of a small room, a folding table, one lamp, a phone and a laptop
• Turtle on E's office "Doesn't exactly scream I'm Vincent Chase's manager, no, it screams I'm Johnny Chase's manager"
• Turtle wants a plasma TV for his office if he ever gets one. Why does Turtle always want plasma TVs? Doesn't he have enough plasma TV's?
• Ari's agency seeing Mary J Blige, big day!
• Two identical twins fighting a lot in Ari's office, ruining important day
• Vince wants to buy a $42,000 desk for E's office, but crazy Gary Busey bought it first
• Vince determined to buy desk from Busey. Busey is creepy as hell
• Gary: "Why are you so quiet Turtle?" Turtle: "You scare me Gary." Gary: "It's your reflection in the mirror that scares you."
• One identical twin f*cked the other ones wife. Weird! Ari asked just what I was thinking, did she f*ck you as you, or as your brother?
• Ari fires the twin that f*cked other twins wife because he makes more money for the company
• Busey wants to physically paint Johnny Drama
• Busey always talks in inspirational, life-affirming slogans
• Busey paints Drama while speaking in tongues
• E having trouble proving he represents Vince
• Lloyd super-excited to meet Mary J. Blige
• Moving guy: This big expensive desk will not fit into that small office
• Variety writes article slamming E for being part of Vince's Entourage
• Mary J Blige leaves Ari's company because she found out about twins and she liked the nice twin
• Vince buys big office space with office's for all four of them so they can use E's desk. Seems to eliminate the original purpose of E getting an office
• Turtle asks for plasma TV for office