Kevin Corrigan's Articles

3 total in April 2009

  • 420 Special

    Happy 4/20!

    by Kevin Corrigan April 20, 2009


    It's our favorite day of the year, Patriot's Day. The day when everyone gets together to celebrate the opening battles of the American Revolutionary War by doing illegal drugs. If you're partaking in this special holiday, we think you might enjoy some of these videos, pictures and links.

    Videos
    -High Cop Freaks Out, Calls 9-1-1
    -Psychadelic Milk
    -Guy Photographs Himself Every Day for 17 Years
    -High on The Price is Right
    -Driving on Salvia
    -Parachute Smoke-out gets Busted
    -Liquid Metal Art
    -Time-Lapse Pot Plant
    -Gardening on Salvia
    -Magic Hands

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  • Super Mario Bros. 3 Weather Report

    by Kevin Corrigan April 08, 2009
    "Pretty much everywhere, it's gonna be hot."
    ...and it looks like World 3 will remain underwater for the conceivable future. Now if we go over here to the desert world, it looks like we're still in the middle of this heat wave. We're looking at temperatures above 100 degrees from level 2-1 all the way to the castle. Let me tell you, it is not pleasant out there. Strings of fire are literally jumping around the landscape, and the anthropomorphic ball and chains are so agitated they'll just attack anything within striking distance, so beware.

    We have some really interesting things going on here in this un-numbered quicksand block. Of course, we have the fire-breathing-piranha-plant-filled sand waterfalls that are typical for this region. But what's really worth noting are these harmless, but difficult to pass tornados. We have heard reports that, if you run until your flight meter flashes "P" and jump straight into the high-speed vortex, it will suck you into the eye of the storm and gently launch you out the top, placing you safely on the other side.
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  • A Nerdy Kid Meets His Future Self

    by Kevin Corrigan April 07, 2009
    A chubby, pimple-faced 14-year-old kid sits at his computer, lethargically moving the mouse and mashing keys. Suddenly, the room begins to rumble. Mint-condition Star Wars action figures fall from the shelves. A bright flash comes from the closet, then everything is calm again. A moment later, a portly 35-year-old man walks out of the closet.
    Someday, I'll be a beautiful swan.

    Kid: Oh. My. God.
    Man: Hello Jason.
    Kid:  I always knew this day would come. You're a robot, aren't you? And you've come from the future to protect me? I'm the chosen one!
    Man: Hahaha. No, no. Not quite. Although I am from the future. I'm you.
    Kid: I have so many questions.
    Man: Shoot.
    Kid: Well, my mom always said that someday I'd blossom into a beautiful man. You're fatter than I am.
    Man: Uhhh... Yes. Thanks for noticing that. Plenty of kids do lose weight after puberty. You'll continue to get bigger because you only drink soda and hate exercise.
    Kid: Oh. But people don't care about that kind of stuff after high school, right? Won't I find a beautiful girl who loves me for who I am?
    Man: I hope so, because I sure haven't found her yet. Most girls won't even talk to me, and the ones I meet online disappear after they find out I'm broke and still live with my Mom.
    Kid: Why do you live with Mom? I thought nerds make a lot of money, like Bill Gates.
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Kevin Corrigan Rowan

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Kevin is in the first semester of his junior year at work.

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