CollegeHumor Updates by Kevin Corrigan http://www.collegehumor.com http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1763171 A Brief Guide to the Barter System Wed, 31 Dec 1969 19:00:00 EST http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1763171/ts:33 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2>
  Beaver pelts, 200 Playstation 3
  One buffalo, cured and salted for
  the long winter ahead		 Chuck E. Cheese pizza party
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]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:631494/ts:33"><img src=""></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written Wednesday, Oct 8 by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:631494/ts:33">Kevin Corrigan</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:344/ts:33"></a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 35 likes</p> .</td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1762811 The Weekly WYR: October 2nd Wed, 31 Dec 1969 19:00:00 EST http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1762811/ts:33 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2>

It's Jake's favorite time of the week, it's time for the Weekly WYR. See if you're brave enough to choose a side in what surely are the universe's most difficult quagmires. And remember, if you've got a great WYR, submit it at the bottom of this or any WYR article.

Would You Rather...

  • Say a popsicle stick joke every time you meet someone or a Snapple fact From Danny
  • Get a hand job from the pokemon geodude, or get a blow job from charmander From ricky
  • Work at the Max and be able to always have a threesome with Kelly, Jessie, and Lisa without being caught, or win over the hearts of every girl at Bayside High, but those three From Paul
  • Have to chug every liquid you drink, or have to drink it through a twisty sprialy straw From Aaron
  • Have too much salt on everything you ate or never have salt on anything you eat From Trevor
  • Have a Mcdonalds in your house. or Live in the playboy mansion From Justin
  • Eat three dozen normal sized cockroaches, or eat one giant cockroach the size of a housecat From Joe
  • Have something stuck in your eye all day, every other day, or a dental floss lodged in the back of your throat forever From mike
  • Put poop chapstick on your lips and rub them together, or use a poop cell phone until your next upgrade From sean

Finally, this week's winner of the I'd totally pay $10,000 for either of those Award is Optimus, who sent in this.

  • Piss silly string or ejaculate those snakes that pop out of joke peanut cans? From Optimus

You'd have the coolest dick ever, and probably get arrested.

If you have a good WYR, submit it here.
Check back every Friday to see if yours made the cut.

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]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:631494/ts:33"><img src=""></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written Thursday, Oct 2 by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:631494/ts:33">Kevin Corrigan</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:344/ts:33"></a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 38 likes</p> .</td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1761343 Chimp Guevara Wed, 31 Dec 1969 19:00:00 EST http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1761343/ts:33 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2>
College is a time to experiment. For some people that means straight up dyking out at a frat party (NICE!). For others it could mean temporarily buying into crazy ideas, or learning to juggle. Whether you grew from a monkey or just want to hook up with a hot girl who did, our Viva La Evolucion poster has got you covered. They're also perfect for juggling if you buy three.

Buy, Buy Miss American poster...

...drove my chevy to the brand new Collegehumor Store, but the Collegehumor store was a Web site.
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]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:631494/ts:33"><img src=""></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written Friday, Aug 29 by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:631494/ts:33">Kevin Corrigan</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:344/ts:33"></a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 5 likes</p> .</td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1761307 The Periodic Poster of Vulgarity Wed, 31 Dec 1969 19:00:00 EST http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1761307/ts:33 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2>
(Click picture to buy, or you can click here, here, or here, NOT here, maybe here)

This poster and some of the following items are available in the brand new Collegehumor Store: t-shirts, hot air balloons, bear pheremones, more posters, candelabras, goose eggs, fiddles, magic beans, 8-way beer bongs, live tuna, rare paintings, battle axes, live salmon, mine carts, dead halibut, thyme, exercise bikes, the moon, unicycles.
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]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:631494/ts:33"><img src=""></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written Thursday, Aug 28 by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:631494/ts:33">Kevin Corrigan</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:344/ts:33"></a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 10 likes</p> .</td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1761260 The Death Star Schematics Poster Wed, 31 Dec 1969 19:00:00 EST http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1761260/ts:33 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2>
You never know, someday you might want to build a death star. Maybe you'll make it in space near Alderaan, or maybe you'll make it in your lounge out of furniture. The bottom line is that you're going to need blueprints.

The problem with blueprints is that they're delicate and need to be kept in tubes. Waving around a cardboard tube isn't going to intimidate any rebels. You need to put it on your wall. That's why we've made this delightful, rebel-scaring death star schematic poster.

Bonus: We've included some helpful words at the bottom so you can avoid the same pitfalls as the Empire.

It might sound crazy, but it ain't no lie, baby, buy buy buy this poster

You can find this and even more college "paraphanalia," if you know what I mean, in the brand new Collegehumor Store. By the way, if you didn't know what I meant when I said "paraphanalia," I meant posters, T-shirts and an 8-way beer bong.
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]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:631494/ts:33"><img src=""></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written Wednesday, Aug 27 by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:631494/ts:33">Kevin Corrigan</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:344/ts:33"></a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 11 likes</p> .</td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1761206 Bob Marley Poster Placeholder Wed, 31 Dec 1969 19:00:00 EST http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1761206/ts:33 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2> Posters say something. No, not literally. Most of them don't, at least. Posters reflect something about the person you are.

For example, a poster of John Belushi wearing a shirt that says "College" will let your peers know that you like to laugh. A Bob Marley poster let's people know that you're chill and definitely not a narc. The problem with Bob Marley posters, though, is that you're forced to stare at Bob Marley's big ugly face all day.

We've solved that problem.


You can find this and many other fine dorm decorations at the brand new, official Collegehumor Store.
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]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:631494/ts:33"><img src=""></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written Tuesday, Aug 26 by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:631494/ts:33">Kevin Corrigan</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:344/ts:33"></a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 13 likes</p> .</td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1761196 The First RA Wed, 31 Dec 1969 19:00:00 EST http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1761196/ts:33 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2>
"I'm not just your lord, I'm also your friend."
University of France, France 1051
Greetings fellow students of Academia. I would like to take this opportunity to introduceth mine self. My name is Edmund Wellington the third and I will be your resident assistant for this year, your first year at university and the first year of university, ever.

As there art no precedents, this year shalleth be a learning experience for us all. Let us learn together. Thou art all responsible and mature. I'm not going to impose any rules. I trusteth that I need not tell you to behave like adults. I shall make mine presence one of a dear friend. Mine door is never barred.

Morrow
It is with great regret and sorrow that I must inform you that our fellow student and dear friend Archibald Leoneses has passed away only one day into the semestereth. He was full of mead and attempted to catapult himself into the ladies dormitorium. He landed in a pile of thickets no further than the servants' quarters. He died at the infirmatorium this morning after his blood became so sour it could not be cured with leeches. Even if you did not know him by name, I'm sure you were all familiar with the delightful Spaniard boy.

There will be a memorial service this evening where we shall all drink from the cask in his honor.

Now, it is quite clear that catapults are no things to be trifled with after a long night at the tavern. Alcohol and contraptions simply do not mix.  It is with a heavy heart that I must inform you all that catapults are now explicitly off-limits to UFF students. Spaniards have also been banned.
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]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:631494/ts:33"><img src=""></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written Tuesday, Aug 26 by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:631494/ts:33">Kevin Corrigan</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:344/ts:33"></a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 82 likes</p> .</td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1761136 The Sexile (Poster) Contract Wed, 31 Dec 1969 19:00:00 EST http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1761136/ts:33 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2>
Like my divorce lawyer told me when I was 13 years old, don't believe anything anyone tells you until they put it in writing. I didn't believe him, so he drew up a contract and signed it, stating that a person hereby cannot take anything spoken to be truth unless the speaker has transcribed those words and signed the document in the presence of a notary public. Then he bought me ice cream.

The bottom line is that you can't trust anyone. Especially not your roommate. You two may have come to an agreement about sexile, but how do you know he'll honor it when you stumble in with a hottie at 2 am while he's 6 hours into a 48 hour Dragonball Z marathon (your roommate is a huge dork in this scenario, btw). You can't know, and that's why you need a contract.

The brand new Collegehumor Store's official Sexile (Poster) Contract is just like any other contract, but way bigger. That means it's even more legally binding.

Click here to buy the sh*t out of it like it ain't no thang
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]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:631494/ts:33"><img src=""></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written Monday, Aug 25 by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:631494/ts:33">Kevin Corrigan</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:344/ts:33"></a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 19 likes</p> .</td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1760752 The Most Epic Disaster Movie Match-Up Wed, 31 Dec 1969 19:00:00 EST http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1760752/ts:33 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2> Picture this: A massive earthquake rocks the Washington DC area. It would register 11.9 on the richter scale, if all the richter scales hadn't been smashed in the quake. It's so powerful that the tectonic plates below the surface don't just rub, but shatter. Magma pours out of the fissure and a volcano forms RIGHT BELOW THE WHITE HOUSE. It could erupt at any moment.
Oh sh*t!

That's not all we've got to worry about. A massive alien space ship has just positioned itself above the White House and is charging its destructo beam. In just 30 minutes it will fire, incinerating every world leader in the world, who happened to be at an emergency meeting in the presidential conference room, if the volcano doesn't erupt first.

Hold on, there's more. An asteroid has just crashed into the Atlantic Ocean and a tidal wave filled with great white sharks is circling the globe, eating everything in its path.

As if that wasn't bad enough, a mysterious monster is playing soccer with the Statue of Liberty's head, trees are making people kill themselves, the dead are coming back to life, there are tornados made entirely of lightning and another asteroid is coming that will blow up the entire planet.

Scientists agree that we've only got one chance and it's up to Bruce Willis to save the human race.

Sounds like the most epic disaster movie of all time, right? Well, it doesn't exist. Yet. One day Michael Bay will agree to read my script. Until then, we'll all have to agree on a most epic disaster movie of all time, which is why Collegehumor scientists have invented the disaster movie match-up. Vote for your favorite in 1 on 1 street-basketball-style competition, and we'll reveal the winner on August 29th!

Vote for the most epic disaster movie

PS No, Norbit was a disaster of a movie, but it wasn't a disaster movie. It's not in there.


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]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:631494/ts:33"><img src=""></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written Monday, Aug 18 by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:631494/ts:33">Kevin Corrigan</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:344/ts:33"></a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 7 likes</p> .</td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1757577 What's your Party Personality Wed, 31 Dec 1969 19:00:00 EST http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1757577/ts:33 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2>
You're at a party and you don't know anyone, you:
Stand by the beer pong table and pretend to be interested (0 points)
Mingle a little bit, ask people their major (1 point)
Make lots of great new friends, forget their names in the morning (2 points)
Chug, and encourage others to chug. Cheer after they've chugged (3 points)

What's your keg etiquette like?
Hang around for ten minutes after you've gotten your drunk to pump for people (0 points)
Fill your cup and pump for the next person in line (1 point)
Nonchalantly start conversation with the second person in line to cut everyone else (2 points)
Steal the closest keg to the door and sneak into your dorm (3 points)

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]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:631494/ts:33"><img src=""></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written Thursday, Jun 19 by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:631494/ts:33">Kevin Corrigan</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:344/ts:33"></a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 40 likes</p> .</td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1757145 Is your Liver Haunted? Wed, 31 Dec 1969 19:00:00 EST http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1757145/ts:33 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2>
Where did you get your liver?
I grew it myself when I was born (0 points)
It was donated to me from a relative (1 point)
It was donated to me from a dead person (2 points)
I found it (3 points)

Does it ever talk to you?
No (0 points)
Sometimes gurgly noises come from my belly (1 point)
It talks, but not to anyone specific (2 points)
Yes and it's rascist as hell (3 points)

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]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:631494/ts:33"><img src=""></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written Thursday, Jun 12 by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:631494/ts:33">Kevin Corrigan</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:344/ts:33"></a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 37 likes</p> .</td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1756671 Does your Booty Call Think she's your Girlfriend? Wed, 31 Dec 1969 19:00:00 EST http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1756671/ts:33 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2>
Has she met your parents?
God no (0 points)
It was an accident. She showed up when they were helping me move (1 point)
Sure, I introduced them (2 points)
Yes, she has an open invitation to spend Thanksgiving with my family (3 points)

Have you been to any weddings together?
Hell no (0 points)
Yes, we went to a friend's wedding together (1 point)
Yes, I was her date to one of her family member's weddings (2 points)
Yes, she was my date for a family member's wedding (3 points)

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]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:631494/ts:33"><img src=""></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written Thursday, Jun 5 by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:631494/ts:33">Kevin Corrigan</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:344/ts:33"></a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 31 likes</p> .</td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1756100 How Far Could You Kick a Puppy? Thu, 29 May 2008 12:00:00 EST http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1756100/ts:33 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2>
Measure your kicking leg. How long is it? Estimate if necessary.
27 inches or less (0 points)
28 - 30 inches (1 point)
31 - 33 inches (2 points)
34 inches or more (3 points)

How much do you love puppies?
OMG, I love puppies sooooo much! I want to hug every puppy in the world (0 points)
A lot and I've had or have pet puppies (1 point)
Puppies are OK (2 points)
Their disproportionate bodies offend me (3 points)

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]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:631494/ts:33"><img src=""></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written Thursday, May 29 by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:631494/ts:33">Kevin Corrigan</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:344/ts:33"></a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 66 likes</p> .</td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1755660 Was Your Roommate Trying To Kill You? Thu, 22 May 2008 13:30:00 EST http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1755660/ts:33 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2>
Did you ever do anything that might give your roommate a reason to kill you?
No. We were best buds. We even shared underwear (0 points)
I left a lot of hair in the drain and was kind of a slob (1 point)
I was generally pretty loud at night when he was trying to sleep or study (2 points)
I may have hooked up with his girlfriend once or a lot (3 points)

How bad did he want a single room?
He'd never live alone, he liked attention too much (0 points)
We got along great but I'm sure he would've appreciated the extra space and privacy (1 point)
As much as any normal college student (2 points)
He always said I was holding him back, and started most sentences with "If I lived in a single..." (3 points)

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]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:631494/ts:33"><img src=""></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written Thursday, May 22 by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:631494/ts:33">Kevin Corrigan</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:344/ts:33"></a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 21 likes</p> .</td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1755305 Are You Going To Have A Gr-8 Summer? Thu, 15 May 2008 12:00:00 EST http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1755305/ts:33 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2>
Are your parents going on vacation and leaving you home sans babysitter at any point?
Nope (0 points)
Maybe for a night here and there (1 point)
They'll be gone for a whole weekend at some point (2 points)
I have the house all to myself this July (3 points)

If yes, are you going to have a party?
I didn't say yes (0 points)
No, I'm going to respect their wishes (0 points)
Yes. Party at my place. Be there or be square (3 points)

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]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:631494/ts:33"><img src=""></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written Thursday, May 15 by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:631494/ts:33">Kevin Corrigan</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:344/ts:33"></a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 33 likes</p> .</td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1754832 Should You Graduate? Thu, 08 May 2008 12:00:00 EST http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1754832/ts:33 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2>
Who is supporting you right now?
Loans, loans, loans (0 points)
Some tuition is covered by parents or scholarships, I pay the rest (1 point)
My parents pay tuition, I have a job for spending money (2 points)
My parents pay my tuition and expenses (3 points)

How many years have you been at school?
6 years or more (0 points)
5 years (1 point)
4 years (2 points)
3 years or less (3 points)

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]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:631494/ts:33"><img src=""></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written Thursday, May 8 by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:631494/ts:33">Kevin Corrigan</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:344/ts:33"></a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 46 likes</p> .</td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1754276 Study or Party? Thu, 01 May 2008 12:00:00 EST http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1754276/ts:33 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2>
How much time have you spent studying so far?
I already know this stuff inside and out (0 points)
Studied pretty hard for a night or two (1 point)
Reviewed my notes during commercials once (2 points)
None (3 points)

Do you go to class?
Haven't missed one yet (0 points)
Missed one (1 point)
Missed a couple (2 points)
Went to a couple (3 points)

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]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:631494/ts:33"><img src=""></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written Thursday, May 1 by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:631494/ts:33">Kevin Corrigan</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:344/ts:33"></a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 24 likes</p> .</td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1753748 Is It Time To Change Your Pants? Thu, 24 Apr 2008 12:00:00 EST http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1753748/ts:33 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2>
What kind of pants are we talking about?
Shorts (0 points)
Jeans (1 point)
Khakis (2 points)
Slacks (3 points)

How long have you been wearing them?
Since today (0 points)
Since yesterday (1 point)
Since last week (2 points)
More than a week (3 points)

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]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:631494/ts:33"><img src=""></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written Thursday, Apr 24 by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:631494/ts:33">Kevin Corrigan</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:344/ts:33"></a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 83 likes</p> .</td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1753307 Are You Ever Going To Be Rich? Thu, 17 Apr 2008 12:00:00 EST http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1753307/ts:33 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2>
How do you feel about hard work?
It sucks and I hate it. Hard work is for squares (0 points)
I'll do it, but you better believe I'm going to complain the whole time (1 point)
I work hard, but I also play hard (2 points)
If I don't accomplish something every single day I feel like a failure (3 points)

Do you go to a prestigious school?
It's prestigious among other community colleges (0 points)
I go to a satellite campus of a decent school (1 point)
I go to a decent school, main campus (2 points)
Ivy league, baby (3 points)

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]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:631494/ts:33"><img src=""></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written Thursday, Apr 17 by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:631494/ts:33">Kevin Corrigan</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:344/ts:33"></a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 48 likes</p> .</td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1752837 Is Today Spring Hot Girl Day At Your College? Thu, 10 Apr 2008 12:00:00 EST http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1752837/ts:33 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2>
Where is your school?
North, near the top of America somewhere (0 points)
Somewhere in the middle of the country (1 point)
On the east or west coast (2 points)
The south (3 points)

Look out the window, does it look like there's any chance it could rain?
It is raining (0 points)
It's pretty dark. There's some cumulonimbus action going on out there (1 point)
There are small clouds here and there (2 points)
Nothing but clear blue skies (3 points)

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]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:631494/ts:33"><img src=""></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written Thursday, Apr 10 by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:631494/ts:33">Kevin Corrigan</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:344/ts:33"></a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 47 likes</p> .</td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1752360 Is It Safe To Masturbate? Thu, 03 Apr 2008 13:30:00 EST http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1752360/ts:33 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2>
How long ago did your roommate leave?
1 hour-ish (0 points)
3 hours or more (1 point)
30 minutes-ish (2 points)
10 minutes or less (3 points)

Did they take anything with them?
Nothing (0 points)
Gym Bag (1 point)
Books (2 points)
Laundry (3 points)

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]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:631494/ts:33"><img src=""></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written Thursday, Apr 3 by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:631494/ts:33">Kevin Corrigan</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:344/ts:33"></a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 72 likes</p> .</td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1751910 Are You Attractive? Thu, 27 Mar 2008 12:00:00 EST http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1751910/ts:33 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2>
Describe your body:
Soft and smooth (1 point)
Doughy (2 points)
Firm, hairy in some regions (3 points)

How long is your hair?
Shoulder length or more (1 point)
Not too short, not too long. You know, in the middle (2 points)
If I'm feeling really wild I'll let it start to grow over my ears, but not usually (3 points)

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]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:631494/ts:33"><img src=""></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written Thursday, Mar 27 by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:631494/ts:33">Kevin Corrigan</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:344/ts:33"></a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 54 likes</p> .</td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1751214 Could You Kill A Puppy If Your Life Depended On It? Thu, 13 Mar 2008 12:00:00 EST http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1751214/ts:33 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2>
I love you.
You're holding a 3-month-old golden retriever. His name is Cody. Cody is nuzzling up into your arms. He's tired. He gently licks your palm as he slips into dreamland. An anonymous stranger holds a gun to your head. If you don't kill Cody, then he'll pull the trigger. As you stare down into Cody's big, bashful puppy eyes you see his total love and trust for you. Is it going to be you, or the dog?

Do you, or have you ever had any pets?
No (0 points)
No. I'm allergic to everything (1 point)
Yes, small stuff like hamsters or fish (2 points)
Yes, dogs or cats (3 points)

What's the big deal? Cody has only been alive for three months. Wouldn't it be a much greater loss to the world if you were gone?
ummmmmm (1 point)
ummmmmm (2 points)

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]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:631494/ts:33"><img src=""></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written Thursday, Mar 13 by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:631494/ts:33">Kevin Corrigan</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:344/ts:33"></a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 67 likes</p> .</td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1750844 Why Are You Going To End Up In The Hospital? Thu, 06 Mar 2008 12:00:00 EST http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1750844/ts:33 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2>
How cautious are you about germs?
I carry hand sanitizer with me and use it often (0 points)
I try to be clean, but I don't let it run my life (1 point)
I don't have a problem letting someone have a bite of my food or drink from the same glass (2 points)
I'll eat food I find in the garbage. I don't give a sh*t (3 points)

What do you do when you're not feeling well?
I go to a real doctor (0 points)
I go to the health center (1 point)
Tough it out (2 points)
Drink until I feel better (3 points)

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]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:631494/ts:33"><img src=""></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written Thursday, Mar 6 by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:631494/ts:33">Kevin Corrigan</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:344/ts:33"></a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 61 likes</p> .</td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1750445 Are You Going To Get Arrested? Thu, 28 Feb 2008 12:00:00 EST http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1750445/ts:33 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2>
It's 3 am. You've just left a party, you're drunk and you have to pee. Finish this sentence, "Bro, I have to pee so bad _________"
that when I finally get to a bathroom I'll have to flush mid-stream so the toilet doesn't overflow with my pee (0 points)
I'm just gonna go on the floor of the first public bathroom I find (1 point)
that next house we pass I'm going to bang on the door and see if I can use their toilet (2 points)
I'm gonna go right here in the middle of the street. Watch for cops (3 points)

When you drive by a police officer, you:
Keep going knowing that you're not doing anything wrong (0 points)
Slam on the breaks until you're doing exactly the speed limit (1 point)
Keep speeding, they don't pull people over unless you're going like 15 miles over the speed limit (2 points)
Throw anything incriminating out the window right away (3 points)

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]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:631494/ts:33"><img src=""></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written Thursday, Feb 28 by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:631494/ts:33">Kevin Corrigan</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:344/ts:33"></a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 56 likes</p> .</td> </tr> </table> <hr />