Daniel Eric Lopez's Articles

2 total in June 2008
  • Joe: Hey babe! Guess what! I finally got a job interview!

    Joe's GF: Aw, I'm so proud of you! After a year of hard work, you finally got one!

    Joe: I would like to thank you for supporting me through my year of unemployment. Now, I'm gonna be able to support myself!

    Joe's GF: Finally...

    Joe: What was that?

    Joe's GF:Nothing... What do you think got them?

    Joe: I think the fact that I live on "God's green ass mother f*cking earth".

    Joe's GF: That's a winner ever time.

    Joe: Alright, I got to go to my interview now. Watch me nail this like a screwdriver.

    (Later, in the waiting room)

    Joe: Hi, I'm Joe, I'm here for the job interview.

    Receptionist:
    Oh... Joe? Can you hold on a second? (Yells to the office) Hey! The guy with the horrible application is here! He actually thought he had a chance! (everyone in the office laughs at him)

    Joe: Wait... What's going on here?

    Boss: Haha, he lives on "God's green ass mother f*cking earth". What a weirdo.

    Receptionist: All we wanted to do was to see if you were serious or not, or if you were even real.

    Joe: Dammit. Not again...


  • If you haven't heard of this show, the premise is that people get asked seriously personal questions in exchange for some nice coin, hosted by Mark "not marky mark" Walberg. To make sure it's all truthful, they are strapped to a lie detector, and if they lie, they lose all their money. This is the first edition of the show that never got aired.

    Mark Walberg: So Joe, you have your mother, your sister, your best friend-

    Steve: Word up, Joey!

    MW:
    Shut up. And your girlfriend is here as well

    Misty: I love you baby!

    MW: You shut up too. This is my show. Ok, on to the first question.

    Joe: I'm ready, bring it on.

    MW: First question: did you lie about doing your household chores when growing up?

    Joe: ... um ... yeah

    (the crowd erupts as a loud voice says "True")

    Joe: Who didn't? I know leslie did it all the time

    Leslie: Shut up you jerkwad!

    Joe's Mom: I'm so dissappointed in you.

    Joe: ... ok then. Next question please?

    MW: Alright, next question: at the last party your fraternity had, did you suspect you best friend of stealing your alcohol?

    Steve: C'mon Joey, you know me. I would never do that without asking you man.

    Joe: um .. yeah, but I seriously don't mind-

    Steve: How could you do this to me. I thought we we're friends man.

    (the crowd erupts as the loud voice says "true")

    Joe: Dude, I really don't care. What's my casa is your casa as well or something.

    Misty: Baby, I never knew you were like this. I'm so shocked you can be this cold.

    Joe: What?!

    MW: Last question Joe. This one makes the other questions look like childsplay. Do you want to continue?

    Joe: The last two were childsplay, so yeah.

    MW: Here it is: do you often confuse your girlfriend with that one character fron the Pokemon cartoon series?

    Joe: Woah ... wasn't expecting this one ...

    Leslie: Dude, I haven't thought about that show since I stopped watching it in middle school.

    Misty: Who are we taling about now? A character from a cartoon? That's ... embarassing, honey.

    Joe: ... um ... yes

    Steve: Dude. So nerdy.

    (the crowd erupts as the loud voice says "true")

    Misty: I'm breaking up with you.

    Joe: Please don't baby. I'm so sorry.

    Joe's Mom: I'm so dissappointed in you.


Daniel Eric Lopez UC Berkeley

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