CollegeHumor: Stuff Matt Walsh Likes http://www.collegehumor.com http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1725664 The Man From Nantucket Has Had It Up To Here Tue, 03 Apr 2007 16:39:17 -0400 http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1725664 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2> life we’re talking about. And I’ve had enough with the rumors. No. You know what, this is more than that. This is SLANDER.

Okay, yes. Yes, I have monstrous genitalia. And yes, it is so long that if I wanted to – IF I wanted to – I could place it in my mouth. But it is a GROSS misinterpretation of the facts to imply that I do this on a regular basis, not to mention the absurd assumption that if my ear had the characteristics of the female sex organ, I would want to “f*ck it.” Can you imagine the speech I had to listen to when my mother first got wind of this? She talked my ear off. No, not the one I want to f-… Just shut up for a second and let me vent.

Another thing: I have a medical condition, and as such I have custom-made undergarments that provide extra support to my gargantuan, engorged testicles. I do NOT – nor have I ever – carried my balls in a bucket. That would be ridiculous. Think about it. From a purely logistical standpoint, it makes little to no sense.
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]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:56979"><img src="http://4.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/d/3/collegehumor.6ab7686d87358ff55bab1a935bae57f6.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written 2007-04-03 16:39:17 by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:56979">Dan Gurewitch</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:1210"></a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 31 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr />