It's been an entire week since your last confession and there's been a lot of good, solid sinning going on across the country. Check out the top 5 and don't forget to submit your misdeeds to our submission page!

Hey Shell! I meant to ask you before I moved out, by how much exactly did you fail the chemistry final? It must've been really bad since you couldn't cheat and use the notes you had programmed into your graphing calculator. I deleted those while you were in the shower. Try to not be such an asswipe to your new roommate when she has friends over next year. You could adopt a new sense of humor too.
Jessie O., School Not Given

Remember when you shit in the toilet and clogged it? Yeah I know that happens all the time, but remember the specific time when I came home from class and peed in it, and it overflowed all over the carpet? Yeah you were in the other room playing Smash Bros by yourself and calling me a douche while I was cleaning it up. Sorry if your shower towel somehow got mixed in to the cleanup process. It looks a lot like the other cleaning towels. You know how those things are. Wait, maybe you don't.
Joey O, UCSB

Do your parents not understand technology? Do they ask you stupid questions? Do they send you absurd text messages? Do they use words like "MyFace,""SpaceBook,"or "The World Wide Web?"

I used to work at CVS as the photo-lab supervisor. We had a customer come in with an SD card to print out some pictures on the kiosk. She came to me all flustered saying her card was stuck in the machine and she desperately needed it back. I went over to look and see if I could pry it out and didn't see the card. I told her it wasn't there and she told me I was looking in the wrong spot (keep in mind this is my job, I know where it should be), I needed to look in the "bigger slot." The "bigger slot" is the floppy drive. She crammed her SD card into the floppy drive. I managed to get it out and she apologized and left. She came back the very next day and did it again. Realizing I was the one there the previous day, she left in a rush, and left her card in the machine and never came back for it.
Lauren m

The other day my mom was telling me her e-mail address: Capital "J", lower case "a," lower case "n," lower case "e." Line-on-the-bottom. Then Capital "S," lower case "m".... and it continued like this until she finally heard the sound of my muffled laughter on the other end of the phone.
You Can Call Me Nannerpuss, Chapman University

Do your parents not understand technology? Do they ask you stupid questions? Do they send you absurd text messages? Do they use words like "MyFace,""SpaceBook,"or "The World Wide Web?"

When ever my grandma starts her computer, she opens and closes solitaire, because it's the first item in the start menu before AOL, and she thinks that she has to open them all in order.
Brian C, Northeastern

My mom just made a new email address: www.janice_3356@live.com
Jen Bertand

My grandma always reminds me to turn my GPS off a few blocks before I get home "so that the man giving me directions doesn't know where I live."
Christy L

Whenever my mom doesn't feel like answering the phone and lets the machine get it, she makes everyone be really really quiet because she thinks that the person calling can hear us while they're leaving a message.
Kristen Malloy

It's been an entire week since your last confession and there's been a lot of good, solid sinning going on across the country. Check out the top 5 and don't forget to submit your misdeeds to our submission page!

One of our roommates who takes his shirt off more often than Dennis from Always Sunny decided to skip our intramural soccer game to hangout with a female (their 2nd time ever). So we found a picture frame in his room, found the female's facebook profile picture, replaced the photo in the frame with hers, with the caption of her first name and his last name. We placed this in his room while he picked her up. Shesaw it. They no longer talk. Should've popped that shirt off bud...

J Sto, UW-Eau Claire

Turns out you are the idiot. Don't you realize I read College Humor everyday and would see your confession? You put your full name! When you talked about killing my families pigs last week, it was me that called the cops and informed PETA so you would get all those threatening Emails and have to spend a night in jail while the cops questioned you. The best part is, I never broke your Xbox. Your fat girlfriend wandered over drunk one night and fell on top of it. It never worked since. Which is understandable since 285 pounds crashing down on it would break almost anything. Maybe you should have tried to poison that pig.
Jeff L., UW-Oshkosh

Do your parents not understand technology? Do they ask you stupid questions? Do they send you absurd text messages? Do they use words like "MyFace,""SpaceBook,"or "The World Wide Web?"

If you've got an example of your Parents Just Don't Understanding, submit it here! And thank God we'll never be as dumb as they are!

My mom recently signed up for Facebook but thought that every ad on her profile was a Facebook "app" that she should participate in. She submitted a picture of her and my grandma getting Martha Stewart's autograph to "Hot or Not" and shared the link on her profile because she saw "share on Facebook" under her pic and thought she was supposed to.
Natalie Y.

My sister was cleaning out our family computer and emptied the recycling bin. My father saw what she did and said "Oh good, make sure the bin stays empty so the deleted files don't eat all the cookies." I wonder how he thinks computers work.
Derrek Mangin

Mom's Text Message: "Can u go 2 niketown to buy a Pacquia shirt 4 dad size lrg? B careful swine flu."
N Lazo, UNLV

It's been an entire week since your last confession and there's been a lot of good, solid sinning going on across the country. Check out the top 5 and don't forget to submit your misdeeds to our submission page!

Remember that time in the dorms when we had a gallon a milk in fridge for a really long time, then when we noticed it was 2 months expired took it out and put it on the windowsill. Then left it there for about a week? You then suggested we should throw it out the 4th floor window onto a car in the parking lot, well before we did that we poured a bunch of it in your shampoo bottle.

Brett S., Colorado State

Remember how you kept getting those itchy rashes? Yeah, that was all me buddy. I would use an urushiol spray from blending up poison ivy and water, and spraying the inside of your pants and socks. I told you not to "borrow" my clothes to go downtown in and you did it anyway. I figured an "Eagle Scout" could have figured it all out.
Parker, School Not Given

Do your parents not understand technology? Do they ask you stupid questions? Do they send you absurd text messages? Do they use words like "MyFace,""SpaceBook,"or "The World Wide Web?"

My dad will put together photo albums of me on his Facebook by taking all the Photos of me from my profile, saving them to his computer, reposting them into a new album, then retagging me in each of them. He has done this with about two hundred pictures. I've had to untag myself in each one.
Lucas Pattan, NYU

As a joke I changed the language on my dad's cell phone to Spanish. Later that day I heard him yelling over our home phone at Verizon customer support saying their security was terrible and that Mexicans had hacked into his phone.
Peter B., Cornell

My professor, a doctor of mathematics, accidentally turned on the projectors while looking for the light switch. After five minutes of trying to turn them back off, he gave up and spent an hour writing three dimensional partial derivatives on top of a screen saver.
A K, University of Texas

It's been 3 days since your last confession and there's been a lot of good, solid sinning going on across the country. Check out the top 5 and don't forget to submit your misdeeds to here.

Hey Alex. You, sir, are a tool, so I decided to share this with everyone you know. Remember when someone drew 'Tool' on your forehead, and you couldn't get it off? That was me, with superglue covering the Sharpie so you couldn't wash it away. I did NOT mean for you to fail your interview for grad school the next day. But next time, when I say that you need to stop hitting on my Girlfriend, you'll probably remember that you shouldn't be a Tool
T M, DePauw

Remember that one night you were at work and you let me use your computer because mine was broken? And remember that history project you had been working on for four days without any sleep? And remember how I told you the computer did something funky and shut itself down and you had to pull another all-nighter for the fifth night in a row? Yeah, well, I noticed that you hadn't saved any drafts of your project that you were so very very close to finishing, and deleted it. Oops! Oh well! I guess that's what happens when you take my car to pick up your boyfriend (ex-boyfriend now) and forget to refill the full tank of gas that you used.
Evelyn Marquez, School Not Given

It's been an entire week since your last confession and there's been a lot of good, solid sinning going on across the country. Check out the top 5 and don't forget to submit your misdeeds here!

I had a neighbor in the dorms who lived across the hall from me was real anal about everything. He was also a theater major and would rehearse all night and come home completely exhausted. I would sneak in through his unlocked window and move all of his furniture against his door and unscrew the light bulbs in his room. Since the doors opened outward he would open his door only to realize that I had to pull all of his furniture against the door. He would then throw a fit and have to move all the furniture out into the hallway piece by piece and then move it all back in just like he was moving in for the first time. He never figured out how I got into his room...

Shawn, St. Edwards University

My roommate is convinced he wets the bed every time he's wasted, but I really pee on him every time he's wasted.
Beau Dareell, Sewanee

It's been an entire week since your last confession and there's been a lot of good, solid sinning going on across the country. Check out the top 5 and don't forget to submit your misdeeds here!

There was an R.A. in my dorms who was a real prick; he gave out fines and pink-slips for everything that the rulebook had to offer - candles burning, incense, six pack plugs and extension cords, and of course alcohol. Eventually, we devised a plan to get this lilly livered, wanna-be airport security guard, back. My roommates were seriously midwestern and all of them chewed tobacco which I thought was absolutely disgusting; however, it had occurred to me that this disgusting habit had its advantages. We collected chew spit for two weeks and in total we had 3, two liter bottles of nothing but dirty, smelly, brown saliva. We took our small 5 gallon garbage can and filled it with all the spit that we had collected, and at about 3:30 that night we leaned the bucket against his door, which opened to the inside of the room. Nobody actually saw him open the door, but everyone for two floors in either direction heard it. We all piled out of our rooms in a hurry to see what the commotion was all about and saw his feet covered in chew spit. He cleaned it for 5 or 6 days to no avail, but he stayed off our backs in the meantime and thereafter. Every time I walked by his room and saw the dingy, stained carpet, I couldn't help but laugh a little, then I would get that waft from his room that made the hairs on the inside of my nose BURN! The carpet got cleaned, but there was no incense or candle in the world that would cover the smell of stale spit soaked into his already decaying carpet. I am pretty sure that he never found out who did it, but we couldn't be too far from his thoughts.

Kevin Picollo, University of Nevada - Reno