| HS Senior | College Senior |
| Showered roughly every other day | Shower on average 2-3 times a week |
| Went to school every day | Go to class two days a week |
| Couldn't cook | Can make PB&J sandwich, eggs, and Chef Boyardee |
| Watched cartoons on TV | Watch cartoons on internet |
| Bought nudie mags | Watch free trailers online |
| Found burps, farts, and injury funny. | Findburps,farts,injury,vomit, fecal matter, racism, homophobia, obesepeople,fetishes,sexism,handicapped people, and poverty funny |
| Had no girlfriend; did not understand female mind | Have a girlfriend; do not understand female mind |
Sean Curry is not meant to be used as a lifesaving flotation device. Pregnant women or women who think they may be or soon be pregnant should consult a doctor before taking Sean Curry. Allow 7-8 weeks for delivery. All statements made by Sean Curry are entirely fictional and not meant to represent any actual person, group, place, or thing. Any similarities are unintended and entirely coincidental. Do not be Sean Curry at home.