For the inaugural installment of "Thought Bubble", I talk with the host of The Early Late Show with James Introcaso, James Introcaso. We discuss Britney Spears' alien vagina, the devil, and the riveting cultural undertones of the early works of Stan Lee and how they apply to a post-industrial American society. Just kidding. We talk about Gay Batman.

PANEL ONE: The Marvel Universe is currently being invaded by Skrulls, a shape-shifting race of aliens intent on killing or enslaving any human they see and turning Earth into their new homeworld. Anyone can be the enemy. No one can be trusted. Someone call Joe McCarthy.

James: Big surprise. Someone in the Marvel Universe isn't who they really say they are. They're a clone. Wow. This has NEVER been done before.

Sean: Everyone in the Marvel Universe has either been cloned, impersonated, kidnapped, or dead at some point in their life. After all, you know what they say, "Death is only the halfway point of life."

James: Here's the disappointing part. This is supposed to totally change the Marvel Universe. Civil War was supposed to change the face of the MU. So was World War Hulk! Everything always turns back to normal because no one wants to be reading Daredevil for 36 issues and then find out he was A F*CKING CLONE and now you just blew $144 to read about some blind alien who sucks.

Sean: Clone, alien shapeshifting zealot, same diff.

James: Agreed. Not that I wouldn't love to be a shapeshifting alien. Anyone who says otherwise is lying.

Sean: Maybe you are.

James: I'd pretty much be a shame for that alien. My identity is more or less worthless to world domination. I'm being interviewed as a comic book expert.

Sean: I think if shapeshifting aliens wanted to take over the planet, the best way would be to impersonate a pop celebrity, make everyone think she's crazy, and make sure no one talks about important stuff. Wait...

James: WE'RE UNDER ATTACK!

Sean: Can aliens shapeshift vaginas, too?

Theodore, HS Senior	Ted, College Senior
I reek, I haven't showered since yesterday morning.	Dude, I reek! Check me out!
If I finish all my homework, I'll knock out a few hours of Playstation.	When I finish this level, I'll knock out an hour of homework.
I can't go to Tom's until I eat dinner. My mom doesn't trust his mom's cooking.	I'm not going to Sig Ep till I'm wasted. They always run out before I get there.
At prom, I think Tiffany and I are going to... you know!	So I fingered Tiffany for sure at Sig Ep last night, but besides that... I don't know.
I got pulled over for speeding on the way to the prom.	The cops chased me down and tackled me after they broke up the party.
I got my first traffic ticket yesterday.	I spent my first night in jail last night.
My dad's friend is a recruiter at Loyola, so I've got a really good chance at getting in there.	My dad's friend is a lawyer, so I've got a really good chance at getting out of here.
I got into Loyola!	Turns out my dad's friend isn't such a great lawyer...
I'm rooming with my friend, Kevin, and Tiffany's going there, too!	I'm going to be going away for a while.
I think I'm going to be a Biology major.	Look, could you hold a couple of things for me? Just grab, like, everything in my top drawer.
I can't wait for September!	I love you, Tiffany. Wait for me?

Hey, you know that program you watch on the scrambled HBO channel when you go to your parents' house for the weekend? The one with the scantily clad, sweaty people rubbing themselves all over each other. No, the other one. The one that can sell action figures. To kids. OK, the WWE. I sat down with WWE Superstar Melina and talked about rabbits, broken bones, and how similar your family is to behemoths dealing near-lethal blows to each other on a canvas square.

What's the worst wrestling-related injury you've ever sustained/inflicted?

Well, thank god I haven't inflicted any kind of injury to anybody, that would sit on my conscience forever! While I was training, the worst that happened was I broke my hand. I went for a drop down and my hand bent backwards right in the middle. That was the only bad injury I've had under contract with the WWE. But 8 years ago in my first match ever, I had a partner and we did a tag move. He landed me and I went sideways on my knee and dislocated my kneecap. That hurt.

Of all your wrestling moves, what's your favorite one?

Of course my finisher! I'm still trying to think of the perfect name for it because to me, my finisher is different, it's my own. So that's my favorite, because it shows not only that its impactful, but its trademarked to me, because I do the splits!

What's the most insane fan encounter you've ever had?

Well, nothing to crazy-crazy, but a guy came up and said he was a big fan and just did a split right in front of me! And two people wanted me to autograph their arms, and then they went and tattooed it. That's the only two really different things that have happened.

It's a well known fact that the amount of fun you have on your spring break is directly proportional to how sick you get by the end of the week. Answer the questions below to find out if you need a few days' bedrest or a graveplot.

Where are you going?
America (1 point)
Western Europe (2 points)
Eastern Europe (3 points)
Mexico (4 points)

What are you planning to do?
See the sights! (1 point)
Some partying, some traveling. (2 points)
Party, baby! WOOO! (3 points)
Screw till it falls off. (4 points)

DUUDES! MY DUDES! How the hell are you guys, how was your break? Awesome, yeah,  me too, I had a totally awesome blow-out spring break. Just decided to go for broke, let loose, ya feel me?

What? Mexico? Nah, bro, everyone goes there. Florida? Please! I was going there when I was like 8, that place is totally dead now. Oh, I just, y'know, kicked it right here in Jersey, man. No, I went home. Yeah, Rutherford. WHAT? NO WAY, MAN, BREAK RULED!

I lived with these two friends of mine that I've lived with before, I just crashed at their place. It was really cool because they paid for everything and didn't even ask me to throw in for food or anything! Totally boss. Yeah, they had a pool, too, but theirs is covered up right now. For... repairs... cause we did so much partying in it last summer, BOY! YEAH!