Sean: Of course the classic example is Tony Stark
James: Agreed. Though they didn't play it up in the movie, that man is a booze fiend
Sean: "Get me a scotch, I'm starving." I think they did a good job showing his love of the bottle.

Sean: Seen it twice.
James: Seen it once but at midnight the night it came out. I was very pleased
Sean: As was I. This makes up for Bat-Skates, Bat-nipples,Bat-Airboards, and Chris O'Donnell.
James: Agreed! I thought the theme of the film was totally amazing. ...But I did have a big problem with the end.
Sean: The hero not being the hero?

Um... mulligan?

Sean: Two words: Iron-nipples
Adam: Hey man, the ladies love 'em. I think that's where male disdain for them stemmed from.
Sean: Jealousy?
Adam: Could be. Rock hard nipples all the time, can cut through glass, etc. If that doesn't get you hot I don't know what does.
Sean: My nipples cut through ass.
Adam: Trust me, I know.
Sean: Before we get too personal for the Grown-Men-In-Tights Column, lets veer back to the movies. I'm really glad to see Hollywood bigwigs willing to admit they screwed up an awesome story and take a redo, like with Hulk.

What's the worst wrestling-related injury you've ever sustained/inflicted?

Well, thank god I haven't inflicted any kind of injury to anybody, that would sit on my conscience forever! While I was training, the worst that happened was I broke my hand. I went for a drop down and my hand bent backwards right in the middle. That was the only bad injury I've had under contract with the WWE. But 8 years ago in my first match ever, I had a partner and we did a tag move. He landed me and I went sideways on my knee and dislocated my kneecap. That hurt.

Of all your wrestling moves, what's your favorite one?

Of course my finisher! I'm still trying to think of the perfect name for it because to me, my finisher is different, it's my own. So that's my favorite, because it shows not only that its impactful, but its trademarked to me, because I do the splits!

What's the most insane fan encounter you've ever had?

Well, nothing to crazy-crazy, but a guy came up and said he was a big fan and just did a split right in front of me! And two people wanted me to autograph their arms, and then they went and tattooed it. That's the only two really different things that have happened.

Don't be the last man on your block to try PERSONALIA, call us now!

Those football players were completely unreasonable. Why should I have to pay for a table that broke when they tackled me? And they didn't even give me a cup.

This cup looks sanitary! I'll just wash it off in the bathroom sink after I finish relieving myself in this bathtub.

Oh wow, they have a keg here! I had no idea they'd have a keg at this kegger! I love kegs! But the line is just so long. Maybe I know someone near the front? No, doesn't look like I do. I bet if I just start walking forwards, people will get out of my way.

Well, that didn't work. I guess it was my own fault for not recognizing the football players from before in front of me. Hey, I think I know the guy pumping the keg! He'll let me cut the line for sure!

Hey man! How's it going? Don't you remember me? I think we had a Stat class last semester. I only went a few times, Statistics just bore me to sleep anyway. Anyway, you think I might be able to get some beer? What do you mean my cup's the wrong color? Well of course I bought it. Why would I pick up a random cup off the grou- Oh, hello again, football friends. Can I help you?

Whatever, that party sucked anyway. What a bunch of mean-spirited ignoramuses, they didn't even give me a chance to explain myself, despite my fervent attempts. I offered to be chill! I think I'll call my roommate Tyler and complain, loudly, about what giant toolbags those guys were.

Wow, it sounds like a really good party in there. Oh man, I can see girls exposing themselves through the windows! And... is that a live band? It is! They sound exactly like Sublime! Sublime is my favorite band ever! I've got to get back in!

Excuse me? No, I haven't been here tonight. I just got out of the library, and I'm looking to just cool off and chill out after studying so much. Hmm? Oh, you must be talking about my brother, we get mixed up a lot. Yes, we do wear the same clothing a lot. Come on man, I just want to into the party, I'll you five doll- Oh, hello again football players. Yes, I'll just walk myself out, thank you.

Well, I guess I should just go back to my room then, it's almost 1 AM. Where am I, again? If that's the science building, and that's Papa John's... Oh man, I must be at least ten miles from my building! This is awful, I'm not going to be able to walk that far. I should just call Rachel, she would always drive her car whenever we went out. Plus, it'd be good to hear her voice again...

Hi, Rachel, how are you? What'd you do tonight? You're still at the football party? They have a Sublime cover band? That's my favorite band! Ever! No, I wasn't there, you must have seen my brother, he's wearing the same shirt as I am. So what are you wearing? I bet you look very attractive, it'd be great to see you again. You know, I think we should go out again, on another date. Or maybe not even a date, just coffee or whatever. You want to come back to my room to watch a movie tonight? I've got Memento, Fight Club, and Boondock Saints. Hmm? Oh right, Todd. No, I don't think I'd like to go back to Todd's room with you, I'd like to go back to my room- oh, just you're going back to Todd's room? I see. Well, he is your boyfriend now, I guess that makes sense. Hey, if Todd is ever out of town, or being mean, or cheating on you, or anything like that, you can feel free to give me a-It was great to talk to you, too, Rachel, I- ok, um, bye.

Oh man, that was totally smooth, she's definitely going to give me a call soon. So where the hell am I now? If that's the freshman dorm, and that's Papa John's, then this... is my dorm. Awesome.

Which floor do I live on? I'm pretty sure it's 02, I'll just take the stairs.

Here I am, Room 0256... Why's my key not working? Maybe Tyler's inside, I'll knock to find out... Oh, uh, hello. What are you doing in my room? Are you Tyler's girlfriend? Tyler, my roommate? He lives here, too. What floor is this? 02? I know, that's my floor... Oh crap, I'm not 02, I'm 12...

Here I am, Room 1265... Why's my key not working? Maybe Tyler's inside, I'll knock to find out... Oh, uh, hello. What are you doing in my room? Are you Tyler's girlfriend? Tyler, my roommate? He lives here, too. What floor is this? 12? I thought so, that's my floor. Wait, is this 1256? Oh no, this is 1265, that's not my room at all, I'll just be on my way- Oh my, are those Goldfish? I'll just help myself, thank you! These are delicious! Goodnight.

Here I am, Room 1256... Why's my key not working? Oh, that's my car key. Here we go, home sweet home. I want to do nothing more than just go to bed. But I really have to pee, and the bathroom is all the way at the other end of the floor. I wish these windows opened more, so I could pee out them. Silly suicide jumpers. Hey, my sink has a drain! And if I run the water, it'll be like I'm flushing it! I'm so smart, who needs toilets?

Well, time to hit the hay. Maybe I'll just hop onto Facebook really quick, see what Rachel's away message is...

7AM the next morning...

...ow, my head. Keyboards are not good pillows.

English
English is tough because you have to look likeyou've done the reading, even if you used your book money on thesnakeoil that man in the top hat sold you. Make friends with one person inthe class who has all the books, and starta conversation about thereadingbefore class starts. All you need is 4-5 minutes.Once class hasbegun, be the first person called on, and reiterate what your friendhas said, and make sure to ask one question about something a characterdid. Sure, your friend might not be your friend by the end of thesemester, but that snake oil will have made your skin so smooth, you'llbe too busy with the ladies to even notive.

Philosophy
Listen for the first few minutes, so you have a general idea of thevicinity of the ball park that this topic might venture around tosooner or later, maybe. Then pick the last name of a guy someonejust mentioned, add "-ianism" or just plain "-ism" to the end of it,raise your hand, and ask a question that has your new word somewhere init. As long as your voice goes up at the end of your sentence,you're good. Do this three or four times per class.

Women and Gender Studies
Female: Talk about how much your life sucks.
Male: Shut the hell up.

Business
Shit, I don't know, wear a three piece suit to class? Am I writing for Forbes.com or CollegeHumor.com?

Film
Sit down.
Watch movie.
Talk about movie.
The End!

Communications
If I have to tell you how to get your full 10% participation gradein a Comm class, then you are definitely a Comm major. Or ababy. Hell, your professor will be so surprised you showed up toclass with a shirt on he'll ask you what grade you want. (Hint:Say "A")