Wow, this actually feels nice. I could see this maybe going somewhere. But more importantly, if I’m really quiet I think I can stick it in again while she’s still sleeping.
	God dammit. I KNEW I shouldn’t have ignored the fact that she had more armpit hair than me. Or that half-formed ballsac.
	Ohhh crap. Oh crap oh crap oh crap. I can’t believe I used the ‘let’s be more than just friends’ line to get laid. Or the ‘you understand me better than anyone else’ line. Or the ‘I want you to be my girlfriend after this’ line.

10. shit, now I have to join the peace corps

9. does anybody need a dead rabbit? and a bloody doorknob?

8. it's not cheating if they're identical

7. If this equation makes sense for you, then you've ruined my life: %n = BaByPrInCeSs386

6. Gotta go tell my gf something quickly, brb (idle for 16 hours 43 minutes)

5. time to get a dishwasher

4. i thought it was JRape.

3. it's not official until she changes her facebook status.

2. "You're a cheating bitch." - Robert Frost

1. it's not you. it's your chemo.