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Stevenson: Alright, so if we add these mortgage payments together, what do we get?
Johnson: Umm...I'm not sure.
Stevenson: You're not sure? What do you mean you're not sure?
Johnson: A lot of these numbers have four digits. I can only add up numbers that have two digits. And honestly, with anything past 40 I usually just write 100 and hope for the best.
Stevenson: Hmm. Well, I don't even know what "digit" means, so I doubt I'll be much help. What should we do?
Johnson: We could ask Sarah. She's supposed to be really smart.
Stevenson: Hey, if you want to risk touching a girl, go ahead. Just remember our health insurance plan doesn't cover cootie shots.
Johnson: What! I thought our boss said he was working on that!
Stevenson: He was, but he hasn't really gotten the hang of writing his t's yet.
Johnson: They still come out looking like l's?
Stevenson: Yeah. So we are covered for "coolie shols," whatever those are.
Johnson: You mean the insurance company didn't correct such a simple mistake? Aren't those guys supposed to be looking out for us?
Stevenson: Don't be so naïve, man. You know the more coverage employees deny the longer nap time they get.
Johnson: It figures. God, how did I even wind up at this place? You know, my real talent was in finger painting. My stuff used to make the fridge on a daily basis.
Stevenson: Sure, we all wanted to be finger painters. But you can't afford to provide for your family on that kind of salary, especially not with the holidays coming up.
Johnson: Oh, I'm not worried about the holidays. My kids have been really good all year, so I'm sure Santa will take care of anything I can't afford to get them. Now come on, let's at least take off early today. They're having a reading of The Cat in the Hat down at the old Discovery Zone, and supposedly the guy doing it actually knows how to sound out every word.
Stevenson: I don't know, it's only 2:00...
Johnson: Did I mention I scored some Fun Dip off a guy I know at the nursery school?
Stevenson: Awesome dude, I'm in! But what should we do about these mortgages?
Johnson: Oh, just approve them all. I'm sure it'll be fine.


Kinsey Durgin



I recently discovered that I only need to sleep three hours at night to...