Signing up for a club this semester? Make sure you know what you're really joining. Roll-over these Club Fair posters to see what's really going on.

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Roll over the images to see what cereal boxes should really be saying...

College is starting soon, which means that you and your high school girlfriend have some big decisions to make.  Most notably, whether or not you should break up.  Use this helpful flow-chart to determine your fate.

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My cousin Jordan is starting his freshman year this coming August. He just got his roommate assignment and sent this over to me the other day. Check it out.

Ever wish you lived in a world where advertisers just got to the point? Wellwish no longer! Roll over for the bullsh*t-less versions of these ads.

Stevenson: Alright, so if we add these mortgage payments together, what do we get?

Johnson: Umm...I'm not sure.

Stevenson: You're not sure? What do you mean you're not sure?

Johnson: A lot of these numbers have four digits. I can only add up numbers that have two digits. And honestly, with anything past 40 I usually just write 100 and hope for the best.

Stevenson: Hmm. Well, I don't even know what "digit" means, so I doubt I'll be much help. What should we do?

Johnson: We could ask Sarah. She's supposed to be really smart.

Stevenson: Hey, if you want to risk touching a girl, go ahead. Just remember our health insurance plan doesn't cover cootie shots.

Johnson: What! I thought our boss said he was working on that!

Stevenson: He was, but he hasn't really gotten the hang of writing his t's yet.

Johnson: They still come out looking like l's?

Stevenson: Yeah. So we are covered for "coolie shols," whatever those are.

Johnson: You mean the insurance company didn't correct such a simple mistake? Aren't those guys supposed to be looking out for us?

Stevenson: Don't be so naïve, man. You know the more coverage employees deny the longer nap time they get.

Johnson: It figures. God, how did I even wind up at this place? You know, my real talent was in finger painting. My stuff used to make the fridge on a daily basis.

Stevenson: Sure, we all wanted to be finger painters. But you can't afford to provide for your family on that kind of salary, especially not with the holidays coming up.

Johnson: Oh, I'm not worried about the holidays. My kids have been really good all year, so I'm sure Santa will take care of anything I can't afford to get them. Now come on, let's at least take off early today. They're having a reading of The Cat in the Hat down at the old Discovery Zone, and supposedly the guy doing it actually knows how to sound out every word.

Stevenson: I don't know, it's only 2:00...

Johnson: Did I mention I scored some Fun Dip off a guy I know at the nursery school?

Stevenson: Awesome dude, I'm in! But what should we do about these mortgages?

Johnson: Oh, just approve them all. I'm sure it'll be fine.

Tony Pierlioni

You and Tony both have developed increasingly frequent and increasingly impure thoughts about several relatives over the course of your last two family gatherings.

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Kinsey Durgin

You and Kinsey both list "The Broom Of The System", Dig!, and Fleet Foxes as your favorite book/movie/band, when in reality they are "It's Hard Out Here For A Shrimp", The Postman, and S Club 7.

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Thought dorm living was cramped?  Try living in a Pokeball.

Critically acclaimed author Taro Gomi struck literary gold with his first children's book, "Everyone Poops," in 1993. He had just married his high school sweetheart and had two beautiful girls who inspired him to write the book, the first of a overdrawn and lengthy series that few people even know exists. Instead of attempting to write something new and creative, Gomi simply stuck with the "Everyone..." series. Unfortunately, the aftermath of his authorial success took Gomi down a dark and shameful road. This is that road.