The Latest in a Long Series of Rejection Letters

Mr. Green,    It is once again a pleasure to be in correspondence with you. I believe your plan to form this new called "Murder-sexocrat" party is of tremendous ambition. Your platform of both championing the murder of "people who...

Pleasant Definitions for Unpleasant Things, Vol. 1

Abortion - See Miscarriage.Adultery - Not getting divorced.Alcoholism - Having a good time.Arrested - Mandatory vacation.Anal - It really won't be that bad; also, I spent christmas with your family.Break-up - I always knew I could be doing better....

Feb. 4th 9:00 am. (Why Tom Brady Should Never Buy a Cactus)

After high school I've thought it would be impossible for me to everidentify with a football player. I fear Tom Brady may have changed this. Watching the game last night from a bar stool with 3 rabid Pats fans and abartender in a Giants jersey was...

The Indignity of Hope: The Youth Vote

Every four years when primary season lumbers into our lives like a leviathan of patronization, there is much talk about the 'youth vote'. On average the 'youth vote' that is projected to come out in numbers fails to arise from behind Atari video...

CH All Nighter Hardly Working #10: Finally Finished

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College Girl's Diary as Imagined by Me

I Think There's Something Wrong With This Movie Reviewer