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  • Monday, Oct 26 2009

  • Five Bosses You'll Have After College

    by Owen Parsons October 26, 2009
    1. The "Why Isn't This Working?" Boss

    At first, you may mistake this guy for an unusually thick intern. But once he parks himself behind his executive credenza and starts bawling about his email client, your ego will be piledrived by the horrible truth: this flailing man-child is your boss.

    Odds are you'll never get to your real job, since you'll spend every moment helping this special-needs supervisor send "eMemos" through his "BlogBerry." Why has someone who can't understand how a mouse works been given control over other human beings? Maybe it's fate, or maybe it's because your entire life is the subject of Japan's #1 Hidden Camera Prank Show: "Happy Go Go Dream-Crushing: American Youth Has Maximum Aneurysm With Peanut Sauce."

    You May Already Know Him: In college, he was the guy outside your window at 4AM screaming "Why isn't the food court open?" and sobbing while he tugged on the door handle.
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  • Tuesday, Oct 6 2009

  • Hooking Up In Your Bedroom: The Other Side

    by Tom Philip October 06, 2009
    Ever brought a girl back to your place after a party? There's more to consider than just how long you last...

    TV    : Guys, he just put on The Notebook! He's hooking up!

    Door    : I'm not locked! I'm not locked! What do I do?!

    Walls: Oh god, the pressure, why can't we be thicker?

    Computer: Does this mean no porn tonight? Awh man...

    Wallet    : I THINK there's a condom in me. If not, bad luck Bed.

    Bed: Ahh sh*t, I was only changed yesterday. Wait, they might do it on the carpet like last time.

    Carpet: Not a chance, I gave him a burn he won't soon forget. You're screwed.

    Bed: Desk?

    Desk: Are you kidding? They only do it on me in the movies. I'm so lonely...

    Bed: Thank god this chick is lighter than that last one. I was aching for
    days.

    Carpet: Awh yeah! His shirt just landed on me. It's going down!
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  • Thursday, Jul 3 2008

  • Lou Bega Doesn't Mind If You Illegally Download His Music

    by Patrick Cassels July 03, 2008
    Buenos dias, my legions of young fans. It is I, Lou Bega, the Latin sensation that set the music charts en fuego in 1999 with "Mambo No. 5." Back then, there wasn't a station in all of America that wouldn't spin my Calypso rhythms at least 3 times each hour, BURNING the lyrics into your brains like so much habenero sauce on your virgin tongues. Now, I have made my triumphant return to support my fans in their revolucion against the record companies over this, how you say, "file-sharing," and to say that I, Lou Bega, give America my blessing to download my music all it wants.
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  • Thursday, Apr 17 2008

  • Getting To Know Your Professor Via Email

    by John Baker April 17, 2008

    It's surprisingly easy to learn a lot about your instructors based on the messages they send you. Check it out.

    Professor Whose Dad Didn't Love Him
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  • Wednesday, Mar 5 2008

  • Senile Savior

    by Chase Mitchell March 05, 2008

    Ted Neeley in "Jesus Christ Superstar," 1973
    Ted Neeley in "Jesus Christ Superstar," 2008

    Fun Fact: 64-year-old actor Ted Neeley has been playing Jesus longer than Jesus played Jesus.


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  • Tuesday, Feb 26 2008

  • CollegeHumor Interview

    Interview of a Lifetime

    by Jake Hurwitz February 26, 2008


    We recently got a very interesting email here at CollegeHumor. We realized right away what kind of opportunity we had. I scrambled to write questions, questions I have been dying to ask. 24 hours later here I am. Posting an interview with I had with this guy.

    When did you make the jump from one collared shirt to two, two to three, three to four? Was it a gradual process with steps? Or did 4 come out of nowhere?

    I hate you.
    Trust me, you don't want to make the jump straight to 4, it could kill you. It's a long and grueling process to get up to 4 shirts, and so far I'm the only one with enough coolness to get there.

    How hard is the final shirt to put on? Do you need to buy your shirts in varying sizes?

    They are all size small, to accentuate my already bulging muscles. In order to get the last one on, I had to have several women rub me down in corn oil. It took about 7 hours, plus 2 for the corn oil to dry.

    How many collared shirts do you own?

    Hmmm. How many different polo shirts has Abercrombie & Fitch made? Multiply that number by 4. That's your answer.
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  • Wednesday, Feb 13 2008

  • CollegeHumor Interview

    Ben Karlin: Funny Valentine

    by Patrick Cassels February 13, 2008




    Lonely this Valentine's day? Ben Karlin feels your pain. As the editor of Things I've Learned From Women Who've Dumped Me, the former Emmy-winning executive producer of The Daily Show With Jon Stewart and co-creator of its sister program The Colbert Report turns his focus from the political to the personal, collecting hilarious-yet-touching essays on ill-fated relationships from various well-known writers, comedians, musicians, and a former U.S. Senator. CollegeHumor recently spoke with Karlin about the book, Valentine's Day, and the comedic merits of getting kicked in the nuts.

    What's your opinion of Valentine's Day? Sweet-natured holiday or Hallmark scheme?
    All I know is St. Valentine died for our sins and we honor him by eating chocolate shaped like a bunny. If that doesn't make you weep, I don't know what will. I should mention I was home-schooled.

    Do you consider yourself romantic?
    I consider myself romantic in the worst possible way. Like, hopeless and pathetic and pie-in-the-sky, not "romantic carriage ride through Central Park while 'That's Amore' is playing somehow in the background." My romanticism is rooted in the impossible and unknowable and I am basically damned to life of eternal disappointment because of it. Piece of advice: Saying the above does NOT work as a pick-up line.
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  • Monday, Feb 4 2008

  • I'm Number 12!

    by Tom Brady February 04, 2008

    Yes! This is the best day ever. Want to know why? Because my team, The New England Freaking Patriots has the best record in the entire NFL. 18-1 boys. 18-1. That's more than I can say for Peyton's brother. Congrats you won the last game of the year. No one gives a what. I mean, I basically went undefeated until yesterday. Kind of Amazing.

    So anywayz, I got Gisele to stop giving me blowjays for long enough to write this post introducing the coolest shirt ever. It basically commemorates our amazing season of only losing ONCE. And if you're going to give me shiat about losing one game then don't even bother because I will cry and then you will feel like an assh*le.


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  • Thursday, Jan 31 2008

  • Chronicles of a Student-Teacher Affair

    by January 31, 2008




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  • Tuesday, Jun 12 2007

  • CollegeHumor Classic

    Build Your Own "Huey Hog" Model Chopper

    by Derek Walborn June 12, 2007


    Nothing is quite as satisfying as building and displaying your own model. Today we will be building 1:48 scale Huey Hog chopper. You will need a modeling knife and plastic cement, as well as the included paints and decals. Let's begin:

    1. Cut two halves of helicopter body (fig.1 and fig. 2) from plastic net A.



    2. Shave plastic nubs from helicopter blades A, B, C, and D.



    3. Glue body halves (fig. 1 and 2) together.

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Paul Frank University of Wisconsin - Stevens Point

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Paul Frank is bilingual - speaking English, Pig Latin, and ebonics. He...

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