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EVOLUTION, as understood by a Creationist:

A few hundred years ago, deep in the jungle, a girl monkey goes into labor.

Monkey Boyfriend: You can do it, sweetie.

With a loud monkey noise, she gives birth.

Monkey Doctor: It's a new species!

Monkey Boyfriend: We'll call it humans. 

An elderly fish enters, pats the chimpanzee on the back.

Fish: I'm proud of you, son.

Monkey Boyfriend: Thanks, dad.

(SIDE NOTE: The monkeys are not married.)

Years later, the human boy is cornered by some predators.

Human boy: Crap. Better evolution-ize.

The boy evolves some laser eyes, or possibly wings. He easily defeats all the predators. 
 
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