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  • Thursday, Jun 25 2009

  • Sci-fi / Fantasy Author or Crazy Person?

    by Owen Parsons June 25, 2009
    Sci-fi / Fantasy Authors have a lot in common with crazy people. Example: if a man is talking to you about a cabal of dark wizards who draw unholy power from the orgasm energy they siphon from lesbian sex camps stationed on the dark side of Mars, odds are he's describing his awesome-sounding Harry Potter fan fiction. But if he then goes on about how these Martian boner wizards arranged the Kennedy assassination, suddenly we're in tinfoil hat territory. It's a very thin line, and the fact that both groups look crazy certainly doesn't help.

    Some of the people pictured below are published sci-fi / fantasy authors. Others are genuine lunatics. Make your best guess, then highlight the inviso-text for the answers.

    #1

    Anne McCaffrey- Author
    Known among pimply teenage girls for her Dragonriders of Pern series, McCaffrey has churned out over 80 books, and you'd think she'd be happier about that fact. Yet she's scowling in every picture I can find of her. The only explanation is that she is angry at cameras, probably for something cameras did to her a long time ago.

    #2

    Jonathon "The Impaler" Sharkey- Crazy
    A perennial candidate for public office and self-proclaimed vampire, Sharkey doesn't really have much of a political platform besides wanting to solve every national crisis with mass impalings. I'm not sure what antics he's been up to since losing his presidential campaign, but his most recent blog entry declares a holy way between himself and the entire Muslim world, so draw your own conclusions.

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  • Wednesday, May 6 2009

  • Wendell Blatt's 8th Grade Graduation Speech

    by Jake Hurwitz May 06, 2009
    Principal Smith    : Hello graduating class of 2009! I want to introduce to you our salutatorian AKA the smartest kid at school who still looks retarded compared to Wendell Blatt. Here she is, Mindy Kang.

    Mindy: Hey everyone. I don't have much to say...

    Stephanie McKinley's Mom: Boo! Bring out Wendell Blatt, he's so cool!

    Randy: Yeah right, Wendell wears sweatpants all the time. Even in the Summer.

    Stephanie McKinley's Mom: Wow, you're stupid and annoying. Sweats are comfy and practical. Plus I like seeing Wendell's huge bulge.

    Mindy: I just want to say that even though my grades were better than Wendell's everyone knows he's the smartest kid at school. He just doesn't have to prove it by doing math.

    Principal Smith: No sh*t.
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Paul Ley
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i dont even have a bio yet, im a huge fucking jerk

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