-
yesterdayWait a minute! You CAN die from it? My 7th Grade gym teacher was right, it must have been his first time too.
From Easy Eview in contextCaptain PG 7 hours ago
The bottle does kinda look like a person, its not just you being a drunk bastard.view in contextCaptain PG 7 hours ago
Do you like Jager? Most people I've introduced it to think its better than Jager.
^Frangelicoview in contextCaptain PG 7 hours ago
Aww, that's too bad, I have nice little set of 21st birthday shots. Oh well.
Thunder, it would not have Tuaca.
Ricky, Tuaca is a vanilla/butterscotch-ish italian liqueur. Thunder is not a fan, but I love it.view in contextCaptain PG 7 hours ago
You're still a dumbass.
You come by my bar Friday night around 11 I'll buy you a shot, not promising you're gonna like it though.
v I bartend/manage a bar. getting paid to get smashed is quite nice. -
2 days agoPhilly's Douchebag Departure
From Rob the Costafarian at Villanovaview in contextCaptain PG 2 days ago
Well, I hope his yacht sinks, he doesn't seem like a swimmer.
Oh, this was probably just a story he made up so he could have a "reason to leave" -
3 days ago
He was just watching SNL with his fraternity brothers at the University of Maine. . . then "Live at the Apollo" came on.
From Drew Tyerview in contextCaptain PG 9 hours ago
You clowns do know that there are more than one meaning to fuck, right?
Upside to today, I just learned it is all you can eat wing night at my local chicken wing eatery. That makes me very happy.
v and sense when have the comments always been taken for humor?view in contextCaptain PG 9 hours ago
I'm ready for the apocalypse, all 7 possible ways it can go. Bring it on, bitches.
v as long as you stay out of Austin, all will be ok. -
3 days ago
"That guy" is my friend's schizophrenic dad. He's freaking HILARIOUS!
From Michelle -
3 days ago
If she knew how to use the internet she'd have seen the ad.
From chrisview in contextCaptain PG 12 hours ago
I'm gonna fail both my exams today. I guess its a good thing knowing that going in. -
4 days agoMmmm......testicles
From Jesus Tits at Washington Stateview in contextCaptain PG 3 days ago
You obviously don't know who Jesus Tits is. Rob, would you kindly gtfo. -
4 days agoAnd they said segregation disappeared in the 1960's...
view in contextCaptain PG yesterday
Goodnight, gots to be gettin up early to stand in line for tickets to the Mizzou game. Peace.view in contextCaptain PG yesterday
Gahhh you people are not easy to find.
v ok, I've been dealing with a loud drunk for most of the night, bring your worst. -
4 days agoIt's not what you think. He swallowed it whole.
From Jenessaview in contextCaptain PG 3 days ago
What did he say about me? I gotta hear this shit.
^ he obviously forgot who he is, no woman would want him. Not even is cousin.
ok, time to pass out. 15 drinks, still sober, much depressing. Gonna go get fucked up watching the game tomorrow. Peace.view in contextCaptain PG 3 days ago
Could be worse. You could be Philly.
v he'll be back. he can also go fuck himself, I hated that rat bastard.view in contextCaptain PG 3 days ago
Setting your alarm for 3:15 ftw.
v I have been drinking with that waitress from the bar from Sunday night at her house. What's it to you? -
4 days agoThey decided to keep the same name and motto that was on the "Restaurant" template at the sign store.
From LemonColaview in contextCaptain PG 3 days ago
Karl: I could give or take
Chris: good
Bert: good
Smash: good
Wiggles: good
Rob: good.view in contextCaptain PG 3 days ago
I have to go to work, shall return sober.
Those of you I like, have a good Friday night.
Those of you I hate, I hope you get hit by a bus leaving the bar.
Peace.view in contextCaptain PG 3 days ago
Actually, a bar is defined as drinking, the eating part is unnecessary. -
4 days ago"Step one in preparing my roommate's ramen... That'll teach him to study 'til 3am with the light on."
From Jay at University of Pittsburghview in contextCaptain PG 2 days ago
Lucky thing about living here is everybody is watching the Texas game, so I won't be out of place.view in contextCaptain PG 2 days ago
My friends all work on Saturdays. Fucking idiots.
edit: at least the ones I wouldn't kill myself watching football with.view in contextCaptain PG 2 days ago
To go somewhere to watch the UT game or stay home, decisions, decisions.view in contextCaptain PG 2 days ago
Coco Pebbles and Kahlua.
Weed, shut the fuck up. Breakfast can be had at all times, especially dinner time, hence Brinner. -
4 days agoSuper Mario Bros: hidden cake level.
From Laurynview in contextCaptain PG 6 hours ago
or maybe it should just never be revisited. ever. ever. ever.
vv anything you say. -
4 days agoIt's so much more delicious when it doesn't have sticky 3 day old Natty and Busch soaked in.
From Laurynview in contextCaptain PG yesterday
I'm not. Funk is no longer worth my time.
v we were together? how drunk was I?view in contextCaptain PG yesterday
You can say anything you want about about any Nascar driver, but you say one bad thing about Dale Earnhardt, I will kill you.view in contextCaptain PG yesterday
That was one of the best skits in SNL in years.
Everyone should vote for McCain so Tina Fey is forced to act like Sarah Palin for the next 4 years.view in contextCaptain PG yesterday
I don't get NBC any more, you can mourn my loss by sending Kahlua.view in contextCaptain PG yesterday
What's up, Clayton? Long time no see.
Bert, back in the cage.
v Yeah, I'm in Austin, sitting in my dorm. How did you get into a fight?view in contextCaptain PG yesterday
I want to run you over with my monster truck.
v O rly? this coming from a guy who goes to an art institute. -
4 days agoIronically this is how Edward 80 Hand separated his shoulder in the first place.
From steven at University of Arizona -
5 days agoA busty Obamage to our democratic presidential candidate.
From User 14681 at Michigan Stateview in contextCaptain PG 4 days ago
This one's for Pat's link
http://www.loverslane.com/Scottish+Lassie/cid=526/page_no=1/edp_no=26019/shop.axd/ProductDetailsview in contextCaptain PG 4 days ago
This is to counteract Scotty
http://www.loverslane.com/Cookie+Girl/cid=526/page_no=4/edp_no=21667/shop.axd/ProductDetailsview in contextCaptain PG 4 days ago
Are you saying I'm from Russia?
v I was born somewhere else, have lived in other places, but claim to be from Texas and only Texas. Dildo changes where he's from depending on situation.view in contextCaptain PG 4 days ago
What's funny is I believe Sceve about memorizing every simpsons.view in contextCaptain PG 4 days ago
Whats the square root of -3pi?
oh, that stripper you fucked last week, is pregnant and there is a pack of mildly angry Velociraptors headed your way.view in contextCaptain PG 4 days ago
Who gives a damn? It Always Sunny in Philadelphia is on tonight!view in contextCaptain PG 4 days ago
Rob, they can be too big. There's that picture floating around this site that proves it.view in contextCaptain PG 4 days ago
What do you need Dignam? you should know, I can't die. I'm not Matt Damon.view in contextCaptain PG 4 days ago
Be careful what you wish for, cuz you just might get it, just might get, cuz you just might get it.view in contextCaptain PG 4 days ago
Nobody gives a shit about he Sox. GO BREWERS!
^ stfu you stupid boston fuck.
^ Hell yeah, btw, Alec Baldwin owns your ass. -
5 days agoHow else could you explain Jesus and the dinosaurs without conflicting origin theories?
From Nateview in contextCaptain PG 4 days ago
Use me as a reference.
Do it, I dare you. I'll tell them I worked with you in a bar in MI. Whateva.
I suppose, but leave me a message of what you actually want me to say if they really call.view in contextCaptain PG 4 days ago
My PG senses tell me there is a character commenter about to fail in our midst.view in contextCaptain PG 4 days ago
Ok, I guess, whatever.
v I zone out at work on a regular basis, I cook the pizzas anymore. I bartend, jackass. -
5 days agoMost likely the best "burned into skin from reaction to henna tattoo" a 3 year-old could possibly get and have for life.
view in contextCaptain PG 4 days ago
CH Poll: worst 2 siblings Sceve/Rick C or Steph Steph Steph/Kristie Kristie Kristieview in contextCaptain PG 4 days ago
They already made the look alike porn, but I'm too lazy to find the link for you.view in contextCaptain PG 4 days ago
Who gives a shit about this? It's not like either of these clowns are gonna be running the country.view in contextCaptain PG 4 days ago
Carry over from last pic:
FUCK THE VP DEBATE. I WANT MY OFFICE. -
5 days agoBritney spares another life she could have destroyed.
From Jessicaview in contextCaptain PG 4 days ago
WHAT THE FUCK!?!?!?! NO OFFICE! FUCK YOU BIDEN FUCK YOU PALIN! FUUUUUUUUUUCK.view in contextCaptain PG 4 days ago
But socks, you drink Jack and Cokes all the time.
Bert is correct, pop not soda.view in contextCaptain PG 4 days ago
Thank god I have never delivered or bartended for any of you fools.view in contextCaptain PG 4 days ago
You may possibly have gotten in touch with your inner fat kid.view in contextCaptain PG 4 days ago
yes that is very wrong.
v so you think its ok to smoke out of something that's been in your mom's vag? -
1 week agoHeeeello Kitty
Putting the HELL in Hello Kitty!rn
From Leahview in contextCaptain PG 5 days ago
Captain PG walks into a bar around 5, stays till close, gets smashed.view in contextCaptain PG 5 days ago
I still don't get hate mail. I get spam, but still no real hate mail from random people.view in contextCaptain PG 5 days ago
Wait, you're a police/military captain? I'm a pirate captain, you may proceed.view in contextCaptain PG 5 days ago
Is that because he didn't invite you to go to Mianus with him? I hear Mianus is very nice this time of year. -
1 week agoThe first 8-year-old to be accepted to every fraternal organization in America, no questions asked.
From Sally at Ball Stateview in contextCaptain PG 5 days ago
Hey, that's cool, I only trust the banks with my check, I keep the rest of my money in a "lock box"view in contextCaptain PG 5 days ago
Mikee, I'm the only Brewers fan in Texas.
Dildo, you listed 2 sports, that's not singular (by definition)view in contextCaptain PG 5 days ago
Good, Wiggles, cuz that's how it was intended.
But seriously, why are we all gonna die?view in contextCaptain PG 5 days ago
"Red Republicans in Texas" Fuck you, you commie fuck. Ain't a damn thing wrong with being a Republican.view in contextCaptain PG 5 days ago
*stumbles back in, this time with with whiskey* Scotty, stop sucking Philly's cock, his outbursts were stupid, his ass links tiresome, and his obsession with banging every girl on this sight were not amusing. You can go fuck yourself for supporting that douchebag mcasshat. GO BREWERS! *stumbles away*
v Let's do it!view in contextCaptain PG 5 days ago
If I could figure out how to do a Dayman costume I'd go as that.view in contextCaptain PG 5 days ago
*stands up, bottle of rum in hand* HEY, speak for yourself. There are some of us who are happy he's gone. *drinks rum, leaves, flipping off you cockbag philly supporters*view in contextCaptain PG 5 days ago
*uncorks bottle of champagne* WOOHOO! He's gone! Everybody dance!view in contextCaptain PG 5 days ago
But Wiggles, we all like your sister.
v na, it ain't mine. no glove, no love.
Captain PG
Texas
About Me
About Me
I'm the boss of a mafia, but nobody know it.
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http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1799593
Tenth thread down I call the Super Bowl (call made 1.5 hours before kickoff)
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