Susanna Wolff's Articles
3 total in September 2007
Competitive Evite
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How to Get the Taken Girl
For all of the morally bankrupt Lotharios who requested advice on stealing girls from their loving boyfriends, this one’s for you.
1. It doesn’t matter whether or not your girl’s boyfriend is there when you meet her; you are not allowed to openly flirt. Instead of flirty, you just have to be really awesome. (I know, I know, easier said than done, but I’ve got you covered.) What I mean by “awesome” is that you have to be outgoing enough to attract her attention so at the end of the night, when she’s happily snuggling with her boyfriend, she'll still sort of be chuckling about something you said.
1. It doesn’t matter whether or not your girl’s boyfriend is there when you meet her; you are not allowed to openly flirt. Instead of flirty, you just have to be really awesome. (I know, I know, easier said than done, but I’ve got you covered.) What I mean by “awesome” is that you have to be outgoing enough to attract her attention so at the end of the night, when she’s happily snuggling with her boyfriend, she'll still sort of be chuckling about something you said.
How to Get a Girl at the Gym
There are two kinds of girls in the world: the ones that want to get picked up at the gym, and the ones that don’t. And the only way you can tell them apart is, well, by trying to pick them up at the gym. There are, of course, four inherent gym obstacles: body odor, hindered breathing, stretchy clothes, and sweat. But what can you do? When a girl strikes your fancy, you’ve just got to go for it. So here’s how you do it:
1. Figure out where the gym is. On every college campus it’s a rule that when you ask where the gym is, you will be met with an are-you-a-blind-moron stare. That’s because the gym is right in front of your face. It’s huge and sticks out like a sore thumb and, yeah, you are a moron for not seeing it.
2. Since you’re not a super muscley guy (Took a shot in the dark there) you should be ready to embrace that fact. The two main no-nos are: One, wearing real legit exercise attire, and two, pretending, when your girl comes by, to just be counting off your 200th bicep curl. Just act like you’re new at the gym thing. Girls love the idea of a guy with potential. Almost more than they love a perfect guy. We’re just really strange and bossy. Do you have a problem with that?
1. Figure out where the gym is. On every college campus it’s a rule that when you ask where the gym is, you will be met with an are-you-a-blind-moron stare. That’s because the gym is right in front of your face. It’s huge and sticks out like a sore thumb and, yeah, you are a moron for not seeing it.
2. Since you’re not a super muscley guy (Took a shot in the dark there) you should be ready to embrace that fact. The two main no-nos are: One, wearing real legit exercise attire, and two, pretending, when your girl comes by, to just be counting off your 200th bicep curl. Just act like you’re new at the gym thing. Girls love the idea of a guy with potential. Almost more than they love a perfect guy. We’re just really strange and bossy. Do you have a problem with that?
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