Susanna Wolff's Articles

3 total in February 2008
  • How to Get a Girl Online

    First off, don't just spontaneously friend request some girl from your Facebook network and really don't just go randomly friending people on MySpace, you outdated pervert. The only way you can non-creepily get a girl through free, non-Match.com, online pursuits is if you have previously met her in person--met and spoken to her in person. Seriously, stop being so creepy.

    Ok, so you met your girl, but, for whatever reason, you didn't actually get her then. All is not lost. 2-3 days--depending on how much you spoke--after your first meeting, you friend request your girl with a personal message that includes some reference to your previous conversation (i.e. "Did you ever figure out how to solve that math problem?" [If you're an effing loser.] Or, "The name of the guy who played the body of Darth Vader in the original Star Wars trilogy is David Prowse, in case you were still wondering." [If you're awesome.])


  • What Movies Teach Me

    What "Step Up 2: The Streets" Taught Me

    by Susanna Wolff February 21, 2008



    1. Back-flips are cool. Really really cool.

    2. In New York City, movie tickets cost $11.25. In Baltimore, people (supposedly) dance for free on the streets.

    3. The streets is about where you're from. I thought they were about where you're going.

    4. In order to avoid bringing down the awesomeness of your film with the consistently problematic nature of race relations in American society, have an Asian character that we can all laugh at.

    5. This movie was written by someone named Karen. Apparently, people named Karen write movies about inner-city break-dancing communities. You shouldn't judge a book by its cover.

    6. You should, however, judge a movie by its poster.

    Did any of you guys see "Step Up 2: The Streets?" It's ok, you can tell me. I won't judge you. At least, I won't judge you any more than I judge myself. Join me in the comments section, won't you? We'll get through our shame together.


  • How to Get a Girl on February 13th




  • Susanna Wolff Columbia

    About Me

    If you demand a Caption Contest, you will be disqualified.

    View profile
    Send a message

    Calendar