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Head to the local bar, where most of your senior class still congregates over Thanksgiving. Catch up with old friends, drink beers, and exchange looks over John Fibroni's new rattail. | Head to the local bar and fake indignation that no one remembers you from the high school you didn't actually go to. Explain how you dropped out to get a record deal with your Guns N' Roses coverband, 'Rockin' on Heaven's Door.' Get belligerent. |
| Catch up with an ex for a coffee and turn that coffee into naked coffee. | See a cute girl at the video store and rack your brain for a funny, charming way to ask her out for coffee. Then remember that you rode there on your bike from middle school and leave quietly. |
| Spend some quality time with your parents before meeting up with your buddies for your annual 'Wham Bam Thank You Yam' party. | Spend some quality time with your parents, then play board games with your parents, then watch your mom's favorite movie ('The Lakehouse') with your parents. Then, just when you thought they were going to bed, get stuck in a two hour conversation about finances with your parents. |






The Digg
This guy's alright. No, really. He's pretty cool. He knows what's what when it comes to "stuff". It sounds stupid but "stuff" is an important facet of everyday life. We need this guy when we don't even know it. We're bored and tired and we want something funny/disgusting/interesting to watch or read and here's Digg, coming to the rescue with his always inspired (though sometimes a little dated) material.
Watch out for: The betrayal. Feel like showing digg something YOU found? Better hope it's not something he dislikes or has seen before. Be warned.
It's a well-known fact that guys like to name their junk. Balls, shaft, the whole package. Celebrities are no different. Through extensive personal research, I managed to compile this list of celebs and the nicknames that they have for their bits and pieces.
NOTE: In case it's not clear, balls are listed first. Of course.



1) Greenman Suit
Inspired by: America's Next Top Paddy's Billboard Model Contest (also, The Gang Gets Invincible)
The ultimate gift for an Always Sunny Fan. Be prepared to see more of your friend's crotch than you ever hoped to see.
2) Fight Club
Inspired by: Hundred Dollar Baby
The movie that inspired the episode that inspired this gift idea. Phewf.
3) Poker Chip Set
Inspired by: Charlie Goes America All Over Everybody
Give your friend the tools he needs to set up his own Vietnamese gambling ring in the basement. Just make sure those tools don't include guns.
4) Lifesize Cutouts of Sinbad and Rob Thomas
Inspired by: Dennis Reynolds: An Erotic Life
Your friend will probably hate you for this a few months down the road, but for now, you are the king of giving presents.
5) Magnet
Inspired by: The Waitress Is Getting Married
Magnets, the ultimate hobby. For bonus points, boil a steak in honey and milk.