Adam S.'s Article Archive

6 total in July 2008
  • Interview With Commercial Catch Phrase Guy

    Adam: Hey Commercial Catch Phrase Guy, or can I call you CCPG? How are you?

    CCPG: I just saved a bunch of money on my car insurance.

    Adam: That's great! Say, I heard you're great at magic! Mind showing me a trick?

    At 4 in the morning
    CCPG: Silly rabbit, tricks are for kids.

    Adam: Dude, I'm only 19... come on...

    CCPG: Don't get mad, get glad

    Adam: What do you mean?

    CCPG: Are you gellin?

    Adam: What?

    CCPG: Can you hear me now?

    Adam: Yes...

    CCPG: Hungry?

    Adam: I just ate.

    CCPG: Got Milk?

    Adam: No! Stop asking me these questions!

    CCPG: Have it your way.

    Adam: Thank you... dammit now I forgot what I was going to ask you!

    CCPG: Need a moment?

    Adam: No! I'm fine... So how's the paparazzi treat you, being a celebrity and all?

    CCPG: They're always after my lucky charms.

    Adam: I don't think so. How's that piece of toast I gave you with the fake topping?

    CCPG: I can't believe it's not butter!

    Adam: Me neither. So how's the family?

    CCPG: They're G-R-R-R-E-A-T!

    Adam: The dog?

    CCPG: It takes a lickin and keeps on tickin.

    Adam: ... Ok this interview is done.



  • Peter Parker Writes a Letter to Columbia Pictures



  • Australian Nature Guy Observes The Pedestrian

    'Ello Mates! Today we're going to observe the Drivers natural enemy; the Pedestrian.

    The Pedestrian's lord and savior
    Although the Driver is much bigger and stronger and can kill the Pedestrian with ease, the Pedestrian has the law on its side. Known as, "The Right of Way", this is what fuels the Driver's hatred towards the Pedestrian.

    Ah, there's a Pedestrian now! Look at it. It's just gorgeous! If you observe it's body language it's showing the Pedestrian sign for "I want to cross". Of course, it wants to wade across the road, which is the natural habitat of the Driver.

    It looks like it's trying to make the critical eye contact with the Driver! The Pedestrian considers eye contact with the Driver as a sign of weakness and it will interpret this as if the Driver were to say, "Hey there, Pedestrian, I see you, and I have no intention of killing today"

    Because of this false interpretation by the Pedestrian, more experienced Drivers will most likely avoid eye contact with the Pedestrian. This lack of eye contact intimidates the Pedestrian, and stops the Pedestrian from entering the road.

    Some of the more bold Pedestrians will sometimes blindly march across the street, believing that the Driver will see them in time and take appropriate action to avoid a collision.

    Unfortunately for the Driver, when the Pedestrian travels in herds it is virtually unstoppable. Drivers know that this flock of Pedestrians can easily become enraged, and outnumber the Driver.

    Do not forget the irony of the Driver/Pedestrian hatred circle. When the Driver removes himself from his vehicle, he will molt into a Pedestrian, and when a Pedestrian finds a vehicle to call it's own, it morphs into a Driver.

    Until next week, G'day explorers!



  • What Facebookers Think Joining Those Petition Groups is Doing

    What Facebookers Think Joining Those Petition Groups is Doing

    Aid runs into president's office

    Aid: Mr. President, our Facebook analysis experts have just determined that the Facebook group "15,000,000 to lower gas prices" has reached about 2 million!

    President: Sweet Jesus! This is getting out of hand! What about the comment board?

    Aid: It's brutal, sir. Joe Smith from UCF writes, "Gas prices suck" and then Brian Parker replied, "Word".

    President: For the love of everything that's holy... Did you check the picture section?

    Aid: Yes and you're not going to like it. As of right now they've already uploaded about 800 pictures.

    President: No!

    Aid: It's true, sir. Although most of the uploaded pictures are just of lingerie models...

    President: Lingerie models? But why?

    Aid: A recent survey conducted about Facebook concluded that 95% of Facebook users are horny.

    President: We're dealing with 2 million angry and horny kids?!!?

    Aid: Wait until I tell you about the posted items board.

    President: Hit me.

    Aid: Lingerie models as well. Almost 4000 posts of them.

    President: There's only one way out of this mess...

    President opens his desk drawer and pulls out a gun

    President: Goodbye, cruel world


    What Those Petition Groups are Actually Doing Best Case Scenario

    Aid walks by president in the hallway

    Aid: So the kids made a Facebook group to lower gas prices

    President: That's cute



  • Horny Horny Hippos

    Green: I'm so freaking HORNY!

    They were only "hungry hungry" for the kids.
    Yellow: Same dude! I want some balls right now!

    Orange: I want some balls in and around my mouth.

    Pink: I can't wait till I have those balls bouncing all up in my face!

    Yellow: Yo chill! I can see some balls right now.

    Green: I am SO freaking HORNY!

    Pink: OH MY GOD! THERE'S BALLS EVERYWHERE!

    Orange: I've never seen so many balls before in my life!

    Yellow: They're bouncing everywhere!

    Green: MPH MMHMF MMMF HMMRPH!

    Yellow: Green! Don't talk when your mouth's full!

    Pink: Green took all of the balls for himself!

    Yellow: Same, but what can you do? When he gets horny horny there's no stopping him.

    Orange: Anyone else getting a little hungry hungry?



  • Guy's Reaction to Progressively Late Girlfriend

    5 minutes late- Well, guess I should prepare myself. She's obviously going to be "fashionably late". Lol. Women. What can you do? Guess I'll just chill here on this bench and face the parking lot.

    20 minutes late- Hmm alright. She's obviously very fashionable to be this "fashionably late". Trying to make a good impression, that's sweet. I just wish this creepy guy would stop trying to ask me where I go to school. Should I just move? I don't want him to think I'm moving because of him though. I'll just mumble something under my breath to make it look like I have to gosomewhere then I'll just move.

    45 minutes late- F*ck it. Whatever. It's like I say, "F*ck the previews"... I don't say that... I love the previews. Did I tell her I don't? Oh well, when she gets here I'll tell her that she's mistaken... God damn! The creepy guy followed me. I'm going to die. Sh*t. I'm just going to tell him to leave me alone. No I won't. I don't want to get raped and murdered tonight.

    2 hours late- What a whore. I'm almost 100% sure that I didn't tell her I hate watching the movie as well...At least that creepy guy is gone. Things are looking up!...

    4 hours late- Why am I still waiting here?? That's it I'm calling her... Hey, where are you? ...You forgot?? ... You're sorry?? I waited 4 freaking hours for you!! I got molested by a pedophile!! I missed Get Smart!! It got above average reviews!! ... Wait what? You're breaking up with me? What?? Hello? Hello?? ... Bitch ... ... ... I'm craving Denny's...



  • Adam S.
    About Me

    Due to an overload of criticism from friends and family I've changed my profile picture to something that makes me look "cool" as opposed to my previous picture which made me look "retarded" (i had a better term but tragically i have this thing where i don't like to offend people with down syndrome)

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