Adam Sharaf's Articles
An Article: Memento'd
Me being beaten up by a group of black people
5 minutes earlier:
Josh: No. I want you to read it to those people over there. They'll think this is hilarious!
He hands me a piece of paper
Josh: This has your finished joke on it!
Me: Awesome! Thanks a lot man!
Josh: Just go!
I approach the black people. I forgot why.
Black Guy: Yo! Why are you just standing there?
Me: ... I have this condition. I have short term memory loss. I can't create new mem-
Black Guy: I don't care. What's that piece of paper?
Me: What?
Black guy grabs the piece of paper. Reads it out loud
Black Guy: "A group of black people walk into a white only bar. The bartender says, "What is this, a joke?""
Me: That's definitely not the beginning of it...
10 minutes earlier:
I storm out of the tattoo parlor
Me: I don't believe she didn't tattoo the beginning of the joke on my penis as well...
I check my dick. It has, "The bartender says, "What is this, a joke?" tattooed across it
Me: What was the beginning?
Josh sees me checking my dick
Josh: Hey Adam! Come here!
I walk over to him
Josh: Why are checking your dick?
Me: I can't remember the beginning of this joke.
Josh starts writing something on a piece of paper.
Josh: I finished the joke for you.
Me: Are you going to tell it to me?
Josh: No. I want you to read it to those people over there. They'll think this is hilarious!
20 minutes earlier:
I walk into the tattoo parlor
Me: Hey can you tattoo this joke on my penis?
I hand her a sheet of paper
Tattoo Lady: I don't think I can fit this whole joke on your dick. How about I have the beginning on your ass?
Me: Sure!
She starts tattooing the beginning on my ass. 8 minutes later she finished tattooing the punch line on my dick
Me: You forgot the beginning of the joke! Now I'll never remember it!
I storm out of the tattoo parlor
30 minutes earlier:
Brandon: So a rabbi, a priest, and a duck walk into a bar. The bartender says, "What is this, a joke?"
Me: Hahahahaha that's freaking hilarious! I've got to remember that!
Brandon: You say that every time I tell it to you!
Me: You're an asshole.
Brandon: Why don't you have it tattooed on your dick?
Me: Sure. Can you write it down for me?
Brandon: Yea! If you're really going to get this tattooed on your dick, I'll even drive you!
Me: Thanks buddy!
5 minutes later he drops me off at the tattoo parlor
Brandon: Good luck!
I walk into the tattoo parlor
The Beginning?
Chess: The Pawn's Diary
What a glorious morning! This earth was made for battle, not only because of its perfectly symmetrical black and white squares! Ah, to be the unit directly in front of the King himself! Oh, mother would be so proud!
June 27th 2008
The battle commenced today, and guess who was the first unit off? You guessed it! Mother would be so proud of my two square hop, why, I could rival the knight himself! I wonder how the enemy will react to such a bold move?
June 28th 2008
So, this enemy isn't to be underestimated! They discovered one of my weak spots. As we speak a rival pawn is standing right in front of me, glaring down at me as I write. So I'm stuck here until the bastard moves, or is killed.
If Her Milkshakes Really Had Brought All the Boys to the Yard
It's a sunny Saturday afternoon. Two boys are walking down the street.
Jason: Hey David, wanna go to that girl's house who sells milkshakes?
David: Sure! it's pretty hot out, and she makes a great milkshake.
They walk down the street to the girl's house. As they get closer they notice that across the street there's a woman dancing very erotically.
Woman (shouting): My Milkshake brings all the boys to the yard!
Girl looks up from the milkshakes and looks towards the boys
Girl: Just ignore her-
Woman (still shouting): And they're like "it's better than yours!"
David: Actually we didn't say that
Jason: You can't compare a milkshake to dancing
Woman (still shouting): Damn right it's better than yours.
Jason: I'm so confused right now
Girl: She calls her boobs milkshakes
Jason: Oh.
David: Hey could we get two vanilla milkshakes?
Girl: Sure
Woman (still shouting): I could teach you!
Girl: No thanks-
Woman (shouting): But I'd have to charge!
Girl: Please leave me alone
David: Thanks for the milkshakes
Jason: What do you wanna do now?
David: I don't know. Wanna stand in her yard and watch her dance?
Jason: Sure.
About Me
I go to the University of Central Florida and I'm either a film major or a creative writing major.
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