Adam's Articles

2 total in April 2009
  • Today I had the extreme misfortune of attending the 1-year anniversary of the amusement park, "Tootsie's Cabaret." Not only is it not amusing in the slightest, but I'm pretty sure it's a concentration camp and I'm shocked that I made it out alive.

    I entered the park around 10 am for the modest fee of $5. The first ride I went on was a rollercoaster called "Tits" which basically goes around in a circle without ever leaving the ground. I am utterly shocked at how popular this ride is.

    After; I waited in line for about 5 hours for the ride, "Death Jump." Here's where things got weird. Installers removed a critical piece of the track without stopping the ride, so the next train that went flew off the track and exploded in mid-air.

    Death Count: 20



  • Clothing: The Article!

    With the days up ahead, you need to wear clothing. Here are some ideas

    T-shirt- This item will cover the top half of your body. It can have pictures on it. I have one with the Tasmanian Devil holding a basketball. I also have one that is just blank.

    Pants- Pants cover the bottom half of your body. There are many different varieties of pants. There are Kakis, Jeans, Sweatpants, and Dress Pants.
    I recommend Jeans. They mostly come in blue, but you can get black ones too. Pair this up with the t-shirt and you are already looking spiffy!

    Shoes- Use these so you don't have to walk around barefoot. They come in all different colors and shapes, although they mostly come in the shape of a foot*. A nice combo is a pair of red shoes with blue jeans and a red t-shirt. This is what they call "matching" but that's later on.
    *Note: I highly recommend wearing socks with your shoes

    Shorts- As the name implies- these are just short pants. They are a much better option if you plan on going outdoors in the heat* (I'll get into specifics about the weather and clothing later on).
    There are many different types of shorts. There are Cargos, Basketball shorts, Regular Shorts, and Jean Shorts. Cargos are good for carrying stuff, like a knife. Basketball shorts are good for running around in.
    *Note: Make sure you take off your pants before wearing shorts for them to be effective.

    Matching (advanced users only!)- Matching is when all of your clothing share a common color. But matching looks good up to a point and then looks bad. I recommend watching reality television for some outfit ideas.

    One last piece of advise: When in doubt, where black or white!



Adam University of Central Florida

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In my spare time I stare at a light for a few seconds then look around...

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