If you have to the time to write the national anthem on your hand, you have the time to learn it.
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Best of Dorkly: Smash Bros. Fatalities
The ESRB may have to reevaluate their rating.
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There's no crime against humanity a spot brush can't fix.
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I can't raise my hand. I'm allergic to effort.
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Revenge is a dish best reheated in the microwave.
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Jake and Amir: Parkour
Can you freestyle walk the walk?



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Fixed it!
The kind of sports you can expect to see on ESPN17
Oh good, my package came. I've got a big night ahead of me.
And that's why you always leave a note
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Pfft I listened to polka covers of arena rock before it was cool
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Spending your Valentine's Day on the internet? This will make everything better.
Thoughts on Valentine's Day from people who are paid to be cynical bastards.