A couple of months ago my boyfriend wanted to have sex but I was tired, so I closed my legs and said, "You shall not pass." Last night at dinner my hand was moving over his leg and moved to his crotch. He grabbed my wrist and said, "One does not simply walk into Mordor." Touche, David, touche.
This was the second one of the day, we were having trouble getting them to go off in under 5 minutes, so we told him to shake it first. It did the trick... too well. He broke his thumb and was in a cast for a good while.
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