A couple of months ago my boyfriend wanted to have sex but I was tired, so I closed my legs and said, "You shall not pass." Last night at dinner my hand was moving over his leg and moved to his crotch. He grabbed my wrist and said, "One does not simply walk into Mordor." Touche, David, touche.
If he survives, he'll earn the ability to shoot bad Nicolas Cage movies.
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A good resource if you base you fantasy football team on great hair.
