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Don't Vote

Sarah Silverman and Jonah Hill can make even a voting PSA funny.

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Daffodils

I used to work as a cashier at grocery store, and one day while I was working up near the entrance to the store, there was all this crazy noise outside. A glance out the front window revealed that the noise was in a fact several fully-automatic weapons being fired at a speeding SUV directly in front of the store. Needless to say, everyone freaked out and hit the deck, myself... Read More » included. After the shooting stopped, and I had called 911, I peeked out the window, only to see the slumped over body of the now-dead driver in his SUV, about 10 feet away. As I tried to figure how exactly to deal with the situation, a woman came over and yelled, "EXCUSE ME! I NEED TO PAY FOR THESE DAFFODILS!!". Sorry lady, I guess i got distracted by the bullet-ridden corpse...