A couple of months ago my boyfriend wanted to have sex but I was tired, so I closed my legs and said, "You shall not pass." Last night at dinner my hand was moving over his leg and moved to his crotch. He grabbed my wrist and said, "One does not simply walk into Mordor." Touche, David, touche.
You don't need a song to pick up fat girls, but it's a nice gesture.
Topics
fat
Like this Video
Jake and Amir: Break
How I spent my winter vacation.
Jake and Amir: Thanksgiving Feast
Turkey dinner tonight?
Your Six Christmas Movies
Fast forward to the presents
Dating, It's Complicated: The Drawer Incident
When it rains, it pours. Condoms.
The Bad Breath Holdout
Ruining relationships for science.
Jake and Amir: Secret Santa 2
My presents, are my presents.



Spending your Valentine's Day on the internet? This will make everything better.
Thoughts on Valentine's Day from people who are paid to be cynical bastards.
The 3D makes this movie look real...ly sucky
Your pet says a lot about you. But then, you have a gossipy parrot.
Guys try to surf without water, and somehow succeed.
Ice T is good, but this time of year it's all about CoCo
Yeah! And why did Microsoft make Bing when they can just use Google?
Valentine's Day was simpler back then. And creepier.
Hey! Get your real world out of my internet!
These guys are getting called out by the reeferee.