An ex and I were hooking up on my couch while she was on her period. We put a towel down, so we didn't stain the couch. Hours later we got home from the bar with my buddy who was really hammered. He layed right on the towel. After cracking up for 5 minutes I had to slide it out. He'll never know, but the world needed to.
Someone explain to him that he's not a goldfish and still alive.
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