Saving Private Ryan Prank

"Storming that beach was hell. There were enemy toddlers everywhere. We had to climb over sandcastles 12 inches high as beach balls and frisbees landed all around us. I survived, but we buried several of my friends in the sand."

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uPick
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Mars Bars for bitches.

One of my housemates eats loads, so she uses two cupboards for all her food, and refused to give one up for the new girl that moved in two weeks ago. Today, the new girl left the cooker on under her cupboard and melted all her chocolate. Justice served.