A couple of months ago my boyfriend wanted to have sex but I was tired, so I closed my legs and said, "You shall not pass." Last night at dinner my hand was moving over his leg and moved to his crotch. He grabbed my wrist and said, "One does not simply walk into Mordor." Touche, David, touche.
Me and Carlos wondered into a strip club in DC last night because we really needed to use the bathroom. We ask the bartender and somehow we end up in the back stairway of the club where strippers hang out between acts. As I'm heading up the steps Carlos b
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Your Six Christmas Movies
Fast forward to the presents
Very Mary-Kate: Raise Your Hand
I can't raise my hand. I'm allergic to effort.
Breaking Bad RPG
The only game that's also a controlled substance.
Brunchables
The kids' snack so hip you'll need reservations.
Dating, It's Complicated: The Drawer Incident
When it rains, it pours. Condoms.
Jake and Amir: Secret Santa
Presents, presents are no fun.
Valentine's Day was simpler back then. And creepier.
Hey! Get your real world out of my internet!
These guys are getting called out by the reeferee.
Scarlett Johansson in a bikini -- I'd try to describe it but something would get lost in translation
"mirror... MIRROR!" - The Joker, also this guy.
This guy is #1
The internet is working as intended.
Hot athletic girls working a pole
Put that English degree to work over-analyzing beloved children's entertainment.
A good resource if you base you fantasy football team on great hair.
