INT. BEDROOM - SPLITSCREEN Sarah and David in their respective beds talk on the phone. DAVID BOW-WOW-WOW-WOW-WOW-WOW. SARAH I dunno, like, a broken didgeridoo? DAVID No. An air conditioner from the future. SARAH That was my next guess. DAVID Really? SARAH (forceful) No. INT. OFFICE - LUNCH TABLE Sarah and David sit, eating lunch. Behind David, for the full episode, there is a bottle of AXE EXCITE on his desk. DAVID This is awesome. SARAH See? I told you you'd like bologna. DAVID Yeah, it's like a flat hot dog. SARAH Exactly like a flat hot dog. DAVID And no, I'm talking about you and me! We're friends again! SARAH We did it! Sarah and David high-five. SARAH Ew, what's on your hand? DAVID Bologna grease. SARAH Gross. AMIR approaches the table. AMIR Hey guys. Why David- (high-pitched, high-class; tipping an invisible hat) -you're looking dapper. DAVID (same tone/motion) Oh. Same, to you. They both laugh loudly. Sarah gives a confused laugh. DAVID Oh, sorry. That's just an inside joke Amir and I have from when we went to the Yankees game. So it's - eh, it's too hard to explain. DAVID/AMIR (emphasis on first syllables) Too hard. To be. Explained. They burst out laughing again. DAVID (to Sarah) Sorry, that was from the Mets game. Amir waves and walks off. David keeps laughing to himself. SARAH Wait, why don't we have any inside jokes? DAVID We have inside jokes! SARAH I don't think we do. DAVID Oh come on. What about, uh, "Yo man, you gotta go." On Sarah as she shrugs 'no', Pat pops out from behind her. PAT "Yo man, you gotta go." DAVID Oh yeah, that was with Pat. SARAH See? DAVID That's not a big deal. We could just come up with one right now. Sarah and David stare at each other and start bobbing their heads from side to side, muttering a 'here we go, here we go' type sound. Abruptly: SARAH Yeah this feels forced. DAVID It did not feel right for me either. SARAH Does this mean we're not friends? Because we don't have inside jokes? DAVID Of course not. We know everything about each other. What's my middle name? SARAH (confidently) Arnold. DAVID Where was I born? SARAH Wisconsin. DAVID What's my birthday? SARAH May 3rd. DAVID What's my mom's name? SARAH Odette. DAVID Those were all wrong. SARAH I know! DAVID Really? Arnold? Dan, passing through the background, looks up momentarily. DAN Did someone say my middle name? SARAH Oh, we were talking about David. Sorry D-Rock. DAVID D-Rock? SARAH Oh yeah, it's just a nickname I have for Dan. I have nicknames for all the guys. Quick singles of various OFFICE GUYS acknowledging their nicknames. It does not matter who is who, but El Diablo should be Jeff, waving enthusiasically with a smile. SARAH Flipper, The Bonch, Tiny, Grim Creeper, B-Bear, Sir Munchy Man, El Diablo, aaaand- Cut to a 2 shot of Sarah pointing at David. There's a beat. SARAH David. DAVID I wanna be the Grim Creeper. SARAH Wait a minute. Are we not friends? Were we just benefits? They both take a moment to ponder this. DAVID You know what, no. NO. I trust you, I go to you for everything and I love hanging out with you. That's it. It doesn't matter that we don't have nicknames or inside jokes. Streeter pops his head into frame. STREETER/DAVID Insiiiiiiiide! They laugh, David waves off Streeter. DAVID (to Sarah) Just this thing we have. SARAH Now you're rubbing it in. DAVID Sorry. We're good. We're friends. Okay? SARAH (shrugs good-naturedly) Okay. DAVID Besides, we'll always have our high-five. Sarah and David stand and participate in an EXTREMELY ELABORATE BOTCHED HIGH-FIVE. They are off on every move and quietly reprimanding themselves and each other for the mistakes. SARAH/DAVID You're blowing it. / Oh, oops. / Oh I forgot the- / You're supposed to be up. / Isn't there a? / That's not. SARAH We should practice that more. DAVID Yeah.