The War of 1812: The Movie

By

Jake Hurwitz

          EXT. EARLY 19TH CENTURY WASHINGTON DC - DAY

          The state Capital is burning. A creepy version of the
          National Anthem plays throughout the trailer.

                                                          CUT TO:

          British troops run down a smoke filled street, one stops,
          aims, and fires then continues running.

          Text: Long ago...

                                                          CUT TO:

          A strong, bearded man, SAM, sits at a crude dining room
          table. His wife looks at him nervously. He dramatically
          rises.

          Text: During a time...

                                                          CUT TO:

          British cannon is put into place and loaded.

                                                          CUT TO:

          American soldiers line up and ready their rifles.

          Text: There was a war.

                                                          CUT TO:

          The British cannon is fired.

                                                          CUT TO:

          A horse gallops through a field.

                                                          CUT TO:

          Sam's home. His wife, SARAH stands with him on his doorstep.

                              SAM
                    I have to go.

                              SARAH
                    Where?

                              SAM
                    Out west. Or really far south. Or
                    maybe Canada.

                              SARAH
                         (crying)
                    When will you return?

                              SAM
                         (also crying)
                    You know what? I might be going out
                    to sea.

                                                          CUT TO:

          The President sits in his office.

                              PRESIDENT
                    I will not stand for this insult.
                    Or my name isn't President...
                         (eyes darting)
                    Jaaaaamesss-Millaaarrrrd... ?
         

                                                          CUT TO:

          A grizzled American General addresses his troops.

                              GENERAL
                    If you see an injun... shoot.

                              SAM
                    Wait, aren't the Indians on our
                    side?

                              GENERAL
                    I thought they were with the
                    British.

                              SOLDIER 2
                    Didn't we already fight the
                    British?

                                                          CUT TO:

          Gunshot! A tattered American flag blows across a desolate
          plain.

                                                          CUT TO:

          Sam holds a dying soldier.

                              SAM
                    Who did this?! Seriously. Who did
                    this?

          The grizzled General from earlier crouches next to Sam and
          puts his hand on Sam's shoulder.

                              GENERAL
                    It was Grant's army... Ulysses S.
                    Grant.

                              SAM
                    No that can't be right.

                              GENERAL
                    You know I was sure I was right
                    before I said it. But it did sound
                    really weird once it came out of my
                    mouth. Even I was like... what?
                    Haha, funny how that happens, you
                    know?

                                                          CUT TO:

          Sam stands in a golden field holding his wife.

                              SARAH
                    Why do men fight?

                              SAM
                    For honor, Sarah. For honor.

          Sarah looks longingly at her husband, the sun hits her eyes
          and she is beautiful.

                              SARAH
                    No like, really, why?

                              SAM
                    Honor was vague right? Too vague?

                              SARAH
                    Yeah.

                              SAM
                    It miiiight have something to do
                    with taxes.

                              SARAH
                    K.

                                                          CUT TO:

          A beleaguered Sam addresses a broken down group of rag tag
          American soldiers.

                              SAM
                    We will rise against the British!
                    And the Indians. And the French!
                    Wait, no, not the French... No!
                    Sorry, yes, the French. Final
                    answer.

          A soldier nods reassuringly.

                              

                              SAME
                    They may burn our crop, they may
                    take our land! Or prevent us from
                    taking more land. Provinces might
                    be involved. But we will stand our
                    ground!

          Sam looks at a soldier, who shrugs.

                              SAM
                    Er, wait, better, we will charge!
                    We will cross their borders, and
                    take their territories! One by
                    one...

          The soldier cocks his head, that's not right either.

                              SAM
                    You know what, I was onto something
                    before. We're gonna protect the
                    frontier.

                                                          CUT TO:

          Sam stabs a British soldier. He leans close to his face.

                              BRITISH SOLDIER
                    I... I die to protect England's
                    right to...

                              SAM
                    To what?

                              BRITISH SOLDIER
                    To...

          The British soldier dies.

                              SAM
                    TO WHAT?!

          A Native American stands looking out at a burning field.

                              NATIVE AMERICAN
                    My people... are involved in this
                    somehow.

                                                          CUT TO:

          A British General yells "Fire" and a line of British
          soldiers fire their weapons.

                                                          CUT TO:

          Sam stands bloody and ragged in a field. He falls to his
          knees.

                              SAM
                    What happened during this time?!

          With a loud bang text appears on the screen "The War of
          1812"

          Back to Sam in the field.

                              SAM
                    Wikipedia had nothing!

          END.