Can't sleep? Count sheepskin boots.
By Elaine Carroll
EXT. BODYGUARD'S APARTMENT - NIGHT
INSERT: Mary-Kate's hand scratches the door. Bodyguard
BG. The Beejees. Disco's back!
I can't sleep.
It's two in the morning.
But I'm so jet lagged! My z's are
totally effed! Do you want to get
You wouldn't eat. You'd just watch
I said do you want to get lunch.
I feel like you should have
sleeping pills or something.
I took a sleeping pill! But then I
woke up in a cute little little
dress and high heels and this.
Mary-Kate lifts up her hand, revealing a snap-on bracelet.
I think I went clubbing.
That's a hospital bracelet.
Well that explains why the dress
doesn't close in the back.
A pixelated shot from behind reveals that Mary-Kate is
Isn't this nice? It's just like
old times! Look, there's a notch
in the door for every time I put a
notch in the door.
Just because you're back doesn't
mean we can go right back to old
habits. You can't sleep? Figure
Yeah, definitely. I'll definitely
figure it out.
Will you help me figure it out?
Yeah, keep sighing. It's like
Keep your voice down.
You're right. If the pirates can't
hear us, they can't take our
booty. And my booty's totally
exposed right now.
I don't want to play pirates.
Fine, Captain Boring. You're off
Tell me a story?
There once was a girl who couldn't
What's her problem? This isn't a
very well-developed character.
Her name was Mary-Kate.
It's a story.
She's telling stories about me?
This is my name, you know. I could
We're done here.
Wait, I want to know what happens!
The story's over.
My butt is cold.
Bodyguard closes the door.