There are no bad ideas.
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CH Staff
Hardly Working: Children's Film
By
Dan Gurewitch & Patrick Cassels
INT. OFFICE - DAZED & CONFUSED
DAN, PATRICK, DAVID and EMILY sit around.
DAN
Now at this point, the princess has
begun to fall in love with the
furry monster. In this scene, her
enchanted friends start singing a
song about their love - but what
are the visuals? Where are we
taking people, on this journey?
PATRICK
Right. The music beings. Strings,
flute. The princess and the
monster see each other. And then,
he...
They start spit-balling, throwing out rapid-fire ideas.
Dialogue can be more chaotic and ad-libbed in nature than
the following, but these lines are a guide.
DAVID
Cums on her tits. Cums on her
face.
EMILY
Cums on her face. Cums in her ass.
DAN
Cums on her back, cums in her hair.
PATRICK
Cums in her mouth, cums in her
nose.
DAVID
Cums on her eyes, cums on her nips-
EMILY
-Meets her at the top of the
stairs!
DAN
Perfect! I love it. So they're at
the top of the stairs, and she-
EMILY
Sucks on his dick. Sucks on her
tit.
PATRICK
Cums in his face. Face in her
tits.
DAN
Tits on his dick. Shits on her
tits.
DAVID
Coot on her puss. Puss in her
boots-
PATRICK
-The frying pan begins to sing!
DAN
Perfect! I love it. So they walk
down the stairs, the frying pan
begins to sing. It's beautiful.
Then...
DAVID
He nuts in her ass. Ass in her
face.
EMILY
Cums on his nuts. Nuts in her
butt.
PATRICK
Eats out her tits. Cums on her
knee.
DAN
Sucks on her dick, farts in his
puss.
DAVID
Kisses her tits, shits on her
clit... They being to slow-dance!
DAN
Perfect! I love it. So they're
slow-dancing. It's romantic, it's
grandiose. Not a dry eye in the
room. And, she...
EMILY
Fucks in his butts. Beats all his
meats.
DAVID
East out her feet, jizz on her
waist.
PATRICK
Face in her snatch, tastin' her
puss.
DAN
Jizz in a glass, glass in her ass.
EMILY
East all her farts, nose in her
sharts.
PATRICK
Balls in her throat, pees in a jar.
DAVID
Fucks in her shoes, dicks on her
moobs.
DAN
Cums on a cat, cat's up her ass-
TWO OTHERS
Cat's up her ass-
ALL FOUR
Cat's up her ass, cat's up her ass,
cat's up her ass, there's a cat in
her ass-
PATRICK
They walk off together onto the
balcony!
DAN
Perfect! I love it. Now, one more
thing before lunch. I am working
on an amateur pornographic film and
I do need some ideas for that.
So. The pizza guy shows up at the
girl's house, and he walks inside
and unbuckles his belt. Then...
PATRICK
He uses his third wish to set the
genie free!
DAN
Perfect! I love it!
END.
| cast | |
| Dan | Dan Gurewitch |
| Pat | Patrick Cassels |
| Jenny | Jenny Jaffe |
| Dave | David Young |
| crew | |
| Producer | Greg T. Gordon |
| Editor | Andrew Mallonee |
| President of Original Content | Sam Reich |
| Executive Producer | Spencer Griffin |
| Director of Post Production | Michael Schaubach |
| Production Manager | Sam Sparks |
| Assistant Production Manager | Jeremy Reitz |
| Post Production Producer | Lacy Wittman |
| Sound Mixer | Kurt Seery |
| Camera Operator | Giancarlo Fiorentini |
| Jonathan Grimm | |
| Assistant Editor | Phil Fox |
| Post Production Coordinator | Amanda Madden |
| Production Accountant | Christine Rodriguez |
| Assistant Production Accountant | Daniel Siegel |
| Erin Marshall | |
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